Keep It SIMPLE

If you want to be a leader who attracts quality people, the key is to become a person of quality yourself. Leadership is the ability to attract someone to the gifts, skills, and opportunities you offer as an owner, as a manger, as a parent. I call leadership the great challenge of life. What's important in leadership is refining your skills. All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective. Here are some specifics:

1) Learn to be strong but not rude. It is an extra step you must take to become a powerful, capable leader with a wide range of reach. Some people mistake rudeness for strength. It's not even a good substitute.

2) Learn to be kind but not weak. We must not mistake kindness for weakness. Kindness isn't weak. Kindness is a certain type of strength. We must be kind enough to tell somebody the truth. We must be kind enough and considerate enough to lay it on the line. We must be kind enough to tell it like it is and not deal in delusion.

3) Learn to be bold but not a bully. It takes boldness to win the day. To build your influence, you've got to walk in front of your group. You've got to be willing to take the first arrow, tackle the first problem, discover the first sign of trouble.

4) You've got to learn to be humble, but not timid. You can't get to the high life by being timid. Some people mistake timidity for humility. Humility is almost a Godlike word. A sense of awe. A sense of wonder. An awareness of the human soul and spirit. An understanding that there is something unique about the human drama versus the rest of life. Humility is a grasp of the distance between us and the stars, yet having the feeling that we're part of the stars. So humility is a virtue; but timidity is a disease. Timidity is an affliction. It can be cured, but it is a problem.

5) Be proud but not arrogant. It takes pride to win the day. It takes pride to build your ambition. It takes pride in community. It takes pride in cause, in accomplishment. But the key to becoming a good leader is being proud without being arrogant. In fact I believe the worst kind of arrogance is arrogance from ignorance. It's when you don't know that you don't know. Now that kind of arrogance is intolerable. If someone is smart and arrogant, we can tolerate that. But if someone is ignorant and arrogant, that's just too much to take.

6) Develop humor without folly. That's important for a leader. In leadership, we learn that it's okay to be witty, but not silly. It's okay to be fun, but not foolish.

Lastly, deal in realities. Deal in truth. Save yourself the agony. Just accept life like it is. Life is unique. Some people call it tragic, but I'd like to think it's unique. The whole drama of life is unique. It's fascinating. And I've found that the skills that work well for one leader may not work at all for another. But the fundamental skills of leadership can be adapted to work well for just about everyone: at work, in the community, and at home.

by Jim Rohn

The importance of good listening skills and the difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is a physical ability while listening is a skill. Listening skills allow one to make sense of and understand what another person is saying. In other words, listening skills allow you to understand what someone is "talking about". Good listening skills make workers more productive.

The ability to listen carefully will allow you to:

• better understand assignments and what is expected of you;
• build rapport with co-workers, bosses, and clients;
• show support;
• work better in a team-based environment;
• resolve problems with customers, co-workers, and bosses;
• answer questions; and
• find underlying meanings in what others say.

How to Listen Well
The following tips will help you listen well. Doing these things will also demonstrate to the speaker that you are paying attention. While you may in fact be able to listen while looking down at the floor, doing so may imply that you are not.

• maintain eye contact;
• avoid interrupt the speaker;
• sit still;
• nod your head;
• lean toward the speaker;
• repeat instructions and ask appropriate questions when the speaker has finished.

A good listener knows that being attentive to what the speaker doesn't say is as important as being attentive to what he does say. Look for non-verbal cues such as facial expressions and posture to get the full gist of what the speaker is telling you.

Barriers to Listening
Beware of the following things that may get in the way of listening.

• bias or prejudice;
• language differences or accents;
• noise;
• worry, fear, or anger; and
• lack of attention span.

Listening Starts Early
If you have children you know what it's like to feel like you're talking to a wall. Kids have an uncanny ability to appear to be listening to you while actually paying no attention at all. While this is something that may pass with age it is important to help children develop good listening skills early. They will do better in school and you will keep your sanity. As the SCANS report points out, good listening skills will prepare children to eventually succeed in the workforce.

• When you tell your child to do something, ask him to repeat your instructions;
• Teach your child to maintain eye contact when talking to or listening to someone;
• Read out loud to your child and then engage her in a conversation about what you have read; and
• Engage your child in age-appropriate activities that promote good listening skills

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If you want to be a leader who attracts quality people, the key is to become a person of quality yourself. Leadership is the ability to attract someone to the gifts, skills, and opportunities you offer as an owner, as a manger, as a parent. I call leadership the great challenge of life. What's important in leadership is refining your skills. All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective. Here are some specifics:

1) Learn to be strong but not rude. It is an extra step you must take to become a powerful, capable leader with a wide range of reach. Some people mistake rudeness for strength. It's not even a good substitute.

2) Learn to be kind but not weak. We must not mistake kindness for weakness. Kindness isn't weak. Kindness is a certain type of strength. We must be kind enough to tell somebody the truth. We must be kind enough and considerate enough to lay it on the line. We must be kind enough to tell it like it is and not deal in delusion.

3) Learn to be bold but not a bully. It takes boldness to win the day. To build your influence, you've got to walk in front of your group. You've got to be willing to take the first arrow, tackle the first problem, discover the first sign of trouble.

4) You've got to learn to be humble, but not timid. You can't get to the high life by being timid. Some people mistake timidity for humility. Humility is almost a Godlike word. A sense of awe. A sense of wonder. An awareness of the human soul and spirit. An understanding that there is something unique about the human drama versus the rest of life. Humility is a grasp of the distance between us and the stars, yet having the feeling that we're part of the stars. So humility is a virtue; but timidity is a disease. Timidity is an affliction. It can be cured, but it is a problem.

5) Be proud but not arrogant. It takes pride to win the day. It takes pride to build your ambition. It takes pride in community. It takes pride in cause, in accomplishment. But the key to becoming a good leader is being proud without being arrogant. In fact I believe the worst kind of arrogance is arrogance from ignorance. It's when you don't know that you don't know. Now that kind of arrogance is intolerable. If someone is smart and arrogant, we can tolerate that. But if someone is ignorant and arrogant, that's just too much to take.

6) Develop humor without folly. That's important for a leader. In leadership, we learn that it's okay to be witty, but not silly. It's okay to be fun, but not foolish.

Lastly, deal in realities. Deal in truth. Save yourself the agony. Just accept life like it is. Life is unique. Some people call it tragic, but I'd like to think it's unique. The whole drama of life is unique. It's fascinating. And I've found that the skills that work well for one leader may not work at all for another. But the fundamental skills of leadership can be adapted to work well for just about everyone: at work, in the community, and at home.

by Jim Rohn

Miss a meal if you have to, but don't miss a book.
Some people claim that it is okay to read trashy novels because sometimes you can find something valuable in them. You can also find a crust of bread in a garbage can, if you search long enough, but there is a better way.

Most homes valued at over $250,000 have a library. That should tell us something.
Everything you need for your better future and success has already been written. And guess what? It's all available. All you have to do is go to the library. And there's probably a library in every neighborhood.

Some people read so little they have rickets of the mind.
I now have one of the better libraries. I admit that I haven't read everything in my library, but I feel smarter just walking in it.

Don't just read the easy stuff. You may entertained by it, but you will never grow from it.
The book you don't read won't help.
Books are easy to find and easy to buy. A paperback these days only costs six or seven dollars. You can borrow that from your kids!

It isn't what the book costs; it's what it will cost if you don't read it

Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish; we can start a new activity. Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.

We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, "The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves." We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.

We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.

And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life - If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life - and it all begins with your very own power of choice.

by Jim Rohn

In "The Awesome Power of Positive Attention," people need to develop. Each of these skills can be seen as a ministry skill - a tool that can be used to connect us with other people. Let's look at each.

Look. When meeting people, establish eye contact. We can see much in people's eyes: moods, emotions, and comfort level, for example. Locking eyes gives focused attention.

Listen. We may hear words but miss their meaning. Listening engages ears, heart, and mind concurrently. By listening, we process the words we hear as well as the tones, inflections, emotions, pauses, even the eye contact of the speaker to help gauge the response needed.

Question. Questions that encourage responses that require reflection help us get to know people and discover what’s happening in their lives. Don't make people feel as if you are an investigative reporter seeking information for a story. Use questions to help you get to know others better.

Touch. Our touch often can bring healing and comfort. Although touching people must be done with care - remember that not everyone wants to be hugged or even touched on the hand because of prior experiences in life - we can provide great comfort with a simple hug or touch on the shoulder.

Affirm. Praise and affirmation can be extremely encouraging for people. People who good at people skill seek opportunities to affirm and praise others for big and small things alike. Make your praise specific, related to some event or activity; descriptive, affirming how something was done well; shared, allowing others to both hear and celebrate the affirmation; and unrestricted, allowing everyone at some time to be publicly praised for good efforts as well as achievements.

"One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car backed out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. He was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital.' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.

Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So... Love the people who treat you right. And love the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a blessed, garbage-free day."

By Larry Crane

Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don't go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won't laugh at you.

There is no better opportunity to receive more than to be thankful for what you already have. Thanksgiving opens the windows of opportunity for ideas to flow your way.

Resolve says, "I will." The man says, "I will climb this mountain. They told me it is too high, too far, too steep, too rocky and too difficult. But it's my mountain. I will climb it. You will soon see me waving from the top or dead on the side from trying."

Disgust and resolve are two of the great emotions that lead to change

They say that "everybody's a critic," and that never seems truer than when you're pursuing a dream. There will always be well-meaning people who want to "protect" you from your "unrealistic fantasies." Critics tried to discourage the people profiled in Unstoppable. Everyone ignored the negative input and achieved their goals. Follow their lead and you, too, will be UNSTOPPABLE!

1. The timing is all wrong. In 1987, prior to accepting Paramount's offer to host a late-night talk show, Arsenio Hall was told by
everyone: "It's too hard to crack into the late-night ratings.
Television isn't ready for a black talk show host. This is America, and you can forget it."

2. Why don't you get a real job? Not understanding his desire to become Mr. Universe, Arnold Schwarzenegger's family pleaded with him,
saying: "How long will you go on training all day in a gymnasium and living in a dream world?"

3. It'll never work, you'll lose everything. Weeks before she opened her first store, cosmetic tycoon Mary Kay Ash's attorney said:
"Liquidate the business right now and recoup whatever cash you can. If you don't, you'll end up penniless."

4. Don't rock the boat. In response to Muriel Siebertís application to be the first woman to buy a seat on the New York Stock Exchange, officials responded: "The language on the floor is too rough and there's no ladies' room." She bought a seat anyway and remained the only woman there for nine years.

5. It's never been done before. Upon applying for a job after graduation from Columbia University, announcers for NBC Radio responded to Sally Jessy Raphael: "You have the perfect voice for broadcasting, but you should get a job as a secretary. We're not using women."

6. You don't have enough talent. Responding to his desire to become a recording artist, Ray Charles' teachers said: "You can't play the piano, and God knows you can't sing. You'd better learn how to weave chairs so you can support yourself."

7. Don't even try, you'll just be disappointed. When auditioning for a part in a high school musical, a teacher rejected Diana Ross saying:
"You have a nice voice, but it's nothing special."

8. You don't fit the mold OR you're not the right "type." Trying to convince her she didn't have the right look, fashion photographer Richard Avedon told Cher: "You will never make the cover of Vogue because you don't have blond hair or blue eyes." When she did make the cover, Vogue sold more copies than it had ever sold before.

9. Don't give up your day job. Commenting on the first manuscript of an unpublished author, a New York publisher told James Michener:
"You're a good editor with a promising future in the business. Why would you want to throw it all away to try to be a writer? I read your book. Frankly, it's not really that good." Michener's first book, Tales of the South Pacific, later won a Pulitzer Prize and was adapted for stage and screen as South Pacific.

10. There's no market for it. When hearing his plans to launch Perrier in the United States, several consulting firms advised Gustave Leven:
"You're foolish to try to sell sparkling water in the land of Coca-Cola drinkers."

The only opinion about your dream that really counts is yours. The negative comments of others merely reflect their limitations --- not yours. There is nothing unrealistic about a dream that aligns with your purpose, ignites your passion, and inspires you to plan and persevere until you attain it. On the contrary, it's unrealistic to expect a person with such drive and commitment not to succeed.

Choose to be unstoppable!

Cynthia Kersey

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
-- Leo F. Buscaglia

"Be sensitive to the plight of others. You have to know about the tragedies as well as the triumphs, the failures as well as the success."
-- Jim Rohn

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these."
-- George Washington Carver

"My life is an indivisible whole, and all my attitudes run into one another; and they all have their rise in my insatiable love for mankind."
-- Mahatma Gandhi

"You have all the reason in the world to achieve your grandest dreams. Imagination plus motivation equals realization."
-- Denis Waitley

"If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember this whole thing was started by a mouse."
-- Walt Disney

"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today."
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt

"To realize a dream, you must have a dream to realize."
-- Mark Victor Hansen

What is it you really want? Unfortunately, so many people haven't dreamed in so long they actually don't even know what they want any longer! You have got to stir up that dream inside of yourself. Your dreams and your destiny aren't determined by "CHANCE" but by "CHOICE"!

You can have anything in life you want... if you know what you want! Do you remember in Alice in Wonderland, Alice asked the cat, "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" The cat answered, "That depends a great deal on where you want to go." Alice said, "Oh, I don't much care." He answered, "Then it really doesn't matter which way you go.’
Which way do you want your life to go? What do you want? It's your choice! You are in control. Quit blaming others for your disappointments! Make a quality decision to get up... and get going! Life goes on!

Renew your personal commitment to "Life". Renew your dreams. Renew your vision. Don't let time, circumstance, or catastrophe keep you from turning your life around. It's your choice!
You absolutely have to have a vision! Helen Keller once said..."The only thing worse than not having sight is not having vision."

Ancient scripture says... Without a vision the people perish! you'll shrivel up and die without a vision! If you don't know where you are going, how will you know when you get there?
Your vision must be effective, clear, challenging, and inspiring to be valid.
Where are you going? Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." Never let anybody steal your dream or vision!

Life's results are not by chance... but, by choice!