Keep It SIMPLE

Bad days are a part of life. We all have them. No matter how many yoga classes you attend or how smoothly your life runs, you'll run up against one sooner or later. The secret to thriving is learning how to move forward in spite of bad days, not aiming to never have one (although minimizing their frequency is a good thing).

Here are some tips for dusting yourself off and getting back on track after a bad day happens:

Do you have permission to have a bad day? Make sure that your inner-perfectionist (the one who requires all-or-nothing success) isn't running your show. Are you knee-deep in self-blame or guilt for things that may have contributed to your bad day (or for the way you reacted to it)? As long as you are busy beating yourself up, you won't be able to move on. Why not try on the idea that an occasional bad day is simply to be expected? It doesn't mean you failed; it means it's time to implement the "bad day plan."

Are you ready to move on, and what will you need to let go of to do so? This is an important question. Are you ready to move on from your bad day, or do you need it to continue for a little while longer? If you are busy beating yourself up, or feeling miserable, or drowning your sorrows, or feeling indignant and victimized, you're not ready to stop having a bad day yet. What do you need to let go of in order to start to shift into a different space? Anger, hurt, frustration, and negativity are all common answers.

What do you want to move on TO? How do you want things to be? How do you want to feel? What do you want your mindset or mental attitude to be? Your posture? Your facial expressions? Take a look in the mirror and make sure you aren't still carrying your bad day with you -- it's amazing how often we do this.

What helps you feel grounded? An important step in moving on from a bad day is connecting with the present and letting go of the past. What helps you to be really present in THIS moment -- completely here and alive? For some people, deep breathing or physical activity helps. Some people like to journal or spend quiet time alone. Take some time to get centered and to set your intention for how you want to BE in the present moment and into the future.

What kind thing can you do for yourself? This is what we do for others who are having a bad day. What can you do for yourself? (And no, a pint of ice cream doesn't count.) Can you call a friend or rent a movie? Pick a flower from your yard? Schedule a massage or a long bath or buy some new nail polish? Bad day recovery days are prime times for self-care.

What's one thing you can commit to that is a positive action? It doesn't need to be big. Pick one small step or action that signifies that you are moving in a positive direction. Do a good deed or a short workout or clean out one drawer. You'll know the action that fits. Your goal is to take the first step toward getting on a more positive track, and when that's done, take the next one.

--by Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC

I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they plan their lives. Perhaps that is because escape is easier than change.

If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they may have planned for you? Not much.
The reason why most people face the future with apprehension instead of anticipation is because they don't have it well designed.

The guy says, "When you work where I work, by the time you get home, it's late. You've got to have a bite to eat, watch a little TV, relax and get to bed. You can't sit up half the night planning, planning, planning." And he's the same guy who is behind on his car payment!

--by Jim Rohn

One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life, and the ability to establish goals to live out those dreams. Think of it: We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families; dream of better financial lives and better emotional or physical lives; certainly dream of better spiritual lives. But what makes this even more powerful is that we have also been given the ability to not only dream but to pursue those dreams and not only to pursue them, but the cognitive ability to actually lay out a plan and strategies (setting goals) to achieve those dreams. Powerful! And that is what we will discuss in detail this week: How to dream dreams and establish goals to get those dreams.

What are your dreams and goals? This isn't what you already have or what you have done, but what you want. Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want? Have you ever taken the time to truly reflect, to listen quietly to your heart, to see what dreams live within you? Your dreams are there. Everyone has them. They may live right on the surface, or they may be buried deep from years of others telling you they were foolish, but they are there.

So how do we know what our dreams are? This is an interesting process and it relates primarily to the art of listening. This is not listening to others; it is listening to yourself. If we listen to others, we hear their plans and dreams (and many will try to put their plans and dreams on us). If we listen to others, we can never be fulfilled. We will only chase elusive dreams that are not rooted deep within us. No, we must listen to our own hearts.

Let's take a look at some practical steps/thoughts on hearing from our hearts on what our dreams are:

Take time to be quiet. This is something that we don't do enough in this busy world of ours. We rush, rush, rush, and we are constantly listening to noise all around us. The human heart was meant for times of quiet, to peer deep within. It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams! Schedule some quiet "dream time" this week. No other people. No cell phone. No computer. Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts (you get to do this in the workbook exercises this week).

Think about what really thrills you. When you are quiet, think about those things that really get your blood moving. What would you LOVE to do, either for fun or for a living? What would you love to accomplish? What would you try if you were guaranteed to succeed? What big thoughts move your heart into a state of excitement and joy? When you answer these questions you will feel Great and you will be in the "dream zone." It is only when we get to this point that we experience what Our dreams are!

Write down all of your dreams as you have them. Don't think of any as too outlandish or foolish - remember, you're dreaming! Let the thoughts fly and take careful record.

Now, prioritize those dreams. Which are most important? Which are most feasible? Which would you love to do the most? Put them in the order in which you will actually try to attain them. Remember, we are always moving toward action, not just dreaming.

Here is the big picture: Life is too short to not pursue your dreams. Someday your life will near its end and all you will be able to do is look backwards. You can reflect with joy or regret. Those who dream, who set goals and act on them to live out their dreams are those who live lives of joy and have a sense of peace when they near the end of their lives. They have finished well, for themselves and for their families.

Remember: These are the dreams and goals that are born out of your heart and mind. These are the goals that are unique to you and come from who you were created to be and gifted to become. Your specific goals are what you want to attain because they are what will make your life joyful and bring your family's life into congruence with what you want it to be.

--by Jim Rohn

The process of human change begins within us. We all have tremendous potential. We all desire good results from our efforts. Most of us are willing to work hard and to pay the price that success and happiness demand.

Each of us has the ability to put our unique human potential into action and to acquire a desired result. But the one thing that determines the level of our potential, that produces the intensity of our activity, and predicts the quality of the result we receive is our attitude.

Attitude determines how much of the future we are allowed to see. It decides the size of our dreams and influences our determination when we are faced with new challenges. No other person on earth has dominion over our attitude. People can affect our attitude by teaching us poor thinking habits or unintentionally misinforming us or providing us with negative sources of influence, but no one can control our attitude unless we voluntarily surrender that control.

No one else "makes us angry." We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude. What someone else may have done is irrelevant. We choose, not they. They merely put our attitude to a test. If we select a volatile attitude by becoming hostile, angry, jealous or suspicious, then we have failed the test. If we condemn ourselves by believing that we are unworthy, then again, we have failed the test.

If we care at all about ourselves, then we must accept full responsibility for our own feelings. We must learn to guard against those feelings that have the capacity to lead our attitude down the wrong path and to strengthen those feelings that can lead us confidently into a better future.

If we want to receive the rewards the future holds in trust for us, then we must exercise the most important choice given to us as members of the human race by maintaining total dominion over our attitude. Our attitude is an asset, a treasure of great value, which must be protected accordingly. Beware of the vandals and thieves among us who would injure our positive attitude or seek to steal it away.

Having the right attitude is one of the basics that success requires. The combination of a sound personal philosophy and a positive attitude about ourselves and the world around us gives us an inner strength and a firm resolve that influences all the other areas of our existence.

--by Jim Rohn

"Don't worry boy, it will be alright. I've took this road you are walkin' down. I've been in your shoes. It is just somethin' that you have got to go through. I had this same talk with my dad."

Those were the words I heard from my dad at the age of twelve, when my heart had flushed my eyes with tears because the life of my dog was flickering out. Through the years I have taken walks down the same road with my dad and I've heard different versions of the same speech when business was tough, friendships ended or I wasn't feeling my best.

Sometimes it is nice to know that what you are going through isn't an experience unique to you. There is comfort in knowing that others have been there and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Often, when you are in the midst of the tunnel – the only thing that catches your focus is despair, discouragement and depression. Yet, it can turn your day around when someone ventures into the tunnel – walks with you and grabs your hand to say, “I've been here…hang in there. I turned out alright and you will as well.’

Unfortunately, we don't all have someone who will tread into the tunnel and walk beside with encouragement. This is why it is so important to read biographies! A biography is a unique way to have a successful person walk beside you as you examine the story of their life. You will often be surprised that the most successful people of all time experience the same struggles as you.

Einstein was divorced, Lincoln battled depression, Ronald Reagan had his heart broken by his first wife and Sam Walton went broke twice. Where did I learn these facts? From the biographies I read! Did it make me feel better because they had hard times? Yes and no. I never delight in someone else's pain. On the other hand, it is without question that Einstein, Lincoln, Reagan and
Walton were monumental successes. It is refreshing and inspiring to read that they were also human and have walked down the same road that you and I have.

What an encouragement it was when my business was struggling a few years ago to read Sam Walton's biography and my eyes halted on the page where I read that at the exact age I was – at that time – that he was in an almost identical financial spot! I put the book down and a smile spread across my face. If you don't know who Sam Walton is, he started a small company called Wal-Mart a few years ago and it turned out okay.

Reading Sam Walton's biography was a neat way for me to get inspired and reminded that some pretty successful people have met discouragement head on and succeeded. In a sense, while reading that book, a message from the spirit of Sam Walton said, “Ron – I have been there. It is hard, but don't give up. The reward is worth it. Now press on.’ I did and I will be forever glad that I did.

Now, go to the bookstore and pick up a biography. By the way, if you are in a rough spot or experiencing some heartache…….. "Don't worry boy, it will be alright. I've took this road you are walkin' down. I've been in your shoes. It is just somethin' that you have got to go through. I had this same talk with my dad."

--by Ron White

If you want to distance yourself from the masses and enjoy a rich and unique lifestyle, understand this - your habits will determine your future.

The fact is, if you keep on doing things a certain way, you will get a predictable result. That's the simple law of Cause and Effect. Successful habits create positive rewards. Negative habits breed negative consequences.

If you want to enjoy longevity, you must have healthy habits. If you are in the habit of starving your most important relationships of time, energy and love, how can you expect a happy outcome? If you spend money on the fly or don't save any money, your bad habits will lead you to a never-ending cycle of work.

Shift yourself out of your bad habits
Fortunately, you can jump from this bad habits path anytime you want. It's a very simple process - it just takes some applied focus. Here's the step-by-step process I recommend:

1) Clearly identify your bad or unproductive habits. Write them down.

• Be specific.
• Remember to consider the long-term consequences should you continue in this bad habit. As an example, a couple cigarettes a day may not seem like much, but after 10 years, the buildup of having smoked 7,300 cigarettes remains in your system.
• Consider habits at home, in your communications and relations with others, at work, in your driving habits, in your free time, and in matters related to your physical, emotional and spiritual health.
• Be totally honest.
  

2) Define your new successful habit and visualize its results in your life.Your new habit is usually the simple opposite of your bad habit. To motivate yourself, think about all the benefits and rewards for adopting your new successful habit. The more vividly you describe the benefits and create the picture in your mind, the more likely you are to take action.

3) Create a three-part action plan.
For every bad habit, there are at least 15 action steps you can take to help you stop. Put some time into this and think about it - it's easy to come up with action steps, but they have to be YOUR action steps that you know are within your realm of taking. As an example, if you want to stop smoking, hypnosis therapy may be more preferable than a nicotine patch. Don't list action steps that you know in your heart you won't do.

4) For the next three weeks, schedule these action steps into your day.
If you know you want to start exercising three times a week, schedule it now in your appointment book. If you want to start reading uplifting books, schedule an hour in your daily schedule and make plans now as to where you will read without interruption. Whatever the new habit, work it into your schedule for the month ahead as most habits - even the very ugliest ones - can be completely re-patterned in this short timeframe.

5) Then, take action!
Start with one habit that you really want to change. Focus on your three immediate steps and put them into action. Do it now. Remember, nothing will change until YOU do.

--by Mark Victor Hansen