Keep It SIMPLE

"The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for 5 seconds and think for ten minutes."
-- William Davis

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."
-- Bill Cosby

“No man who has once heartily and wholly laughed can be altogether irreclaimably bad.”
-- Thomas Carlyle

"The saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities--a sense of humor and a sense of proportion."
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Here is a good question to ask yourself. Ten years from now you will surely arrive. The question is, where? We don't want to kid ourselves about where. We don't want to kid ourselves about the road we're walking.

At age 25, I had a day shortly after I met my mentor Mr. Shoaff called "do not kid myself anymore" day. I didn't want to be disillusioned anymore. Up until then, I had been using the crossed-finger theory. But after meeting Mr. Shoaff, I finally decided that the crossed-finger theory was not going to get me what I wanted. That it wasn't where the treasure lies. That I was going to have to make sure which way I was headed.

Then, with the help of Mr. Shoaff, I found with a few reading disciplines, and a few disciplines of mind, and a few disciplines of activity, that when exercised, can begin making all the difference in the world as to where you will arrive.

Just a few changes. Sometimes we get the idea that we're doing about 10% and there's about 90% more that we need in order to make the difference for our fortune, but probably the opposite is true. We're doing enough things to have bought and shared in the good life so far. And maybe all we need is that extra 5% or 10% of intellectual change. Activity change. A refinement of discipline. A refinement of thought. And all we need is the ideas to make those simple changes and the equity starts gathering in one year, three years, five years, 10 years.

I have a good comment for you: Now's the time to fix the next 10 years. Now, you may have to come to grips with reality and with truth; that's what was good for me when I met Mr. Shoaff. I was 25 years old, he was 44 years old. And he brought me a wealth of experience and he started asking me the tough questions. "Big question", he said, "Are you reading the books that are going to take you where you want to go in the next 5 years?"

Excellent question. See, you want to make sure. I would assume for all of you, to get to where you want to be in the next 5 years, you are either reading the right books or you're not. You're either engaged in the disciplines or you're not. But, here's what we don't want to engage in: disillusion. Hoping without acting. Wishing without doing.

The key is to take a look and say, "Where am I? What could I do to make the changes to make sure that I can take more certain daily steps toward the treasure I want, the mental treasure, the personal treasure, the spiritual treasure, the financial treasure? I don't want to make any more errors. Now's the time to adjust my daily program to take me where I want to go."

In lecturing for more than 40 years, I've gotten letters and personal testimonies of people that have done such remarkable things with just a few suggestions. And that is why seminars, tapes and books can be so valuable. Here's a key idea for us all to remember: We could all use a little coaching. When you're playing the game, it's sometimes hard to see it all.

But the key is to start right now making these changes to walk this new road. And here's what's exciting to me: just a few daily disciplines makes a great deal of difference in one year, three years, five years. And before you know it, you will be walking a brand new road.

--by Jim Rohn

"You can't brag that you're humble... and be humble."
-- Terry McEwen

"A great man is always willing to be little."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact."
-- George Eliot

"Humility is a virtue; timidity is a disease."
-- Jim Rohn

If there is one thing that I believe with all my heart it is that you can have any life you choose. You can live the life you have always dreamed of.

We live in a period of unparalleled opportunity in human history. Think about it: Just one hundred years ago, most people really only had five or six options when it came to deciding what they would do with their lives. For most, they didn't even have the knowledge that they could do anything other than take over their father's farm when they turned eighteen!

But today a person living in the western world (and many other areas of the world as well) can choose to do virtually anything they want to! The key is the word "choose."

You see, the world is within your reach. Any job you want can be yours if you decide. All of the opportunities are there for the taking. The question is whether or not you will take.

You say, "But Chris, you just don't understand. I'm 38 years old with two kids and I have bills to pay. I make $28,000 a year. I can't just go become a doctor and make big money!"

And I say, "Yes you can! If you decide to. If you will take action, you can become a doctor or anything else you want to. We live in a day and age when virtually anything is possible."

For the sake of highlighting this principle, let's look at the above example. How would this person change careers? Simple. Here is the process in specific action steps:

1. Find out from a medical school what classes you would need to take to get in. Chances are your college major would need some rounding out or if you didn't go to college, you would need to do so. Maximum time to do this: 3 days.
2. Now, go to school. Maximum time to do this: 4 years.
3. Now, medical school and residency. Maximum time to do this: 6 years.
4. Begin practicing medicine.

At this point you would be 48 years old. That leaves you 17 years to practice. Now, let's see the impact it has on your life:

1. You get to pursue your dream, making you and your family MUCH happier.
2. You will make, on average, $100,000 more per year. The difference here is manifold! If you stayed where you were, you would have earned $28,000 a year for 27 years and would earn $756,000. If you left and pursued your dream, you would earn $128,000 for 17 years (that's if you took 10 years to make the transition; most would be less.) and your earnings would be $2,176,000! This is a difference of $1,420,000! And this doesn't even take into consideration the amounts you would earn on investments with the difference in incomes.

So is it possible? Yes. Does it take time? Yes. Is it hard? Yes. Is it scary? Yes, and that is why most people won't do it.

It isn't for lack of opportunity. It is usually because of one of the following:
- Lack of vision
- Lack of tenacity
- Fear

The truth is that you can do anything you want to. Stop telling yourself excuses! Go to battle against a lack of vision! Pick yourself up and get tenacious! Look fear in the face and stand up to it! Your whole life depends on it, my friend!

The choice is yours. Will you continue to limp along in life because you don't have the courage to run for your dream? Will you continue to allow the fear of poverty keep you from pursuing the riches, both materially and emotionally, that lay within the vision you have of what your life could be?

You CAN live the life you have always dreamed of. All you want is within your reach. But to pick it up, you must first empty your hands of what they already hold. Then you must reach for it, take a hold of it, and possess it!

--by Chris Widener

"Great hopes make great men."
-- Thomas Fuller

"True hope is swift, and flies with swallow's wings."
-- William Shakespeare

"A comforting acquaintance, hope, a contagious thing like spring, inebriating like lager."
-- Sylvia Ashton-Warner

"Everything that is done in the world is done by hope."
-- Martin Luther

Following are six behaviors that increase self-esteem, enhance your self-confidence, and spur your motivation. You may recognize some of them as things you naturally do in your interactions with other people. But if you don't, I suggest you motivate yourself to take some of these important steps immediately.

1st - Greet others with a smile and look them directly in the eye. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence born of self-respect. In the same way, answer the phone pleasantly in the office and at home, and when placing a call, give your name before asking to speak to the party you want to reach. Leading with your name underscores that a person with self-respect is making the call.

2nd - Always show real appreciation for a gift or complement. Don't downplay or sidestep expressions of affection or honor from others. The ability to accept or receive is a universal mark of an individual with solid self-esteem.

3rd - Don't brag. It's almost a paradox that genuine modesty is actually part of the capacity to gracefully receive compliments. People who brag about their own exploits or demand special attention are simply trying to build themselves up in the eyes of others - and that's because they don't perceive themselves as already worthy of respect.

4th - don't make your problems the centerpiece of your conversation. Talk positively about your life and the progress you're trying to make. Be aware of any negative thinking, and take notice of how often you complain. When you hear yourself criticize someone - and this includes self-criticism - find a way to be helpful instead of critical.

5th - respond to difficult times or depressing moments by increasing your level of productive activity. When your self-esteem is being challenged, don't sit around and fall victim to "paralysis by analysis." The late Malcolm Forbes said, "Vehicles in motion use their generators to charge their own batteries. Unless you happen to be a golf cart, you can't recharge your battery when you're parked in the garage!"

6th - Choose to see mistakes and rejections as opportunities to learn. View a failure as the conclusion of one performance, not the end of your entire career. Own up to your shortcomings, but refuse to see yourself as a failure. A failure may be something you have done - and it may even be something you'll have to do again on the way to success - but a failure is definitely not something you are.

Even if you're at a point where you're feeling very negatively about yourself, be aware that you're now ideally positioned to make rapid and dramatic improvement. A negative self-evaluation, if it's honest and insightful, takes much more courage and character than the self-delusions that underlie arrogance and conceit. I've seen the truth of this proven many times in my work with athletes. After an extremely poor performance, a team or an individual athlete often does much better the next time out, especially when the poor performance was so bad that there was simply no way to shirk responsibility for it. Disappointment, defeat, and even apparent failure are in no way permanent conditions unless we choose to make them so. On the contrary, these undeniably painful experiences can be the solid foundation on which to build future success.

Engaging in genuine discipline requires that you develop the ability to take action. You don't need to be hasty if it isn't required, but you don't want to lose much time either. Here's the time to act: when the idea is hot and the emotion is strong.

Let's say you would like to build your library. If that is a strong desire for you, what you've got to do is get the first book. Then get the second book. Take action as soon as possible, before the feeling passes and before the idea dims. If you don't, here's what happens . . . .

YOU FALL PREY TO THE LAW OF DIMINISHING INTENT.

We intend to take action when the idea strikes us. We intend to do something when the emotion is high. But if we don't translate that intention into action fairly soon, the urgency starts to diminish. A month from now the passion is cold. A year from now it can't be found.

So take action. Set up a discipline when the emotions are high and the idea is strong, clear, and powerful. If somebody talks about good health and you're motivated by it, you need to get a book on nutrition. Get the book before the idea passes, before the emotion gets cold. Begin the process. Fall on the floor and do some push-ups. You've got to take action; otherwise the wisdom is wasted. The emotion soon passes unless you apply it to a disciplined activity. Discipline enables you to capture the emotion and the wisdom and translate them into action. The key is to increase your motivation by quickly setting up the disciplines. By doing so, you've started a whole new life process.

Here is the greatest value of discipline: self-worth, also known as self-esteem. Many people who are teaching self-esteem these days don't connect it to discipline. But once we sense the least lack of discipline within ourselves, it starts to erode our psyche. One of the greatest temptations is to just ease up a little bit. Instead of doing your best, you allow yourself to do just a little less than your best. Sure enough, you've started in the slightest way to decrease your sense of self-worth.

There is a problem with even a little bit of neglect. Neglect starts as an infection. If you don't take care of it, it becomes a disease. And one neglect leads to another. Worst of all, when neglect starts, it diminishes our self-worth.

Once this has happened, how can you regain your self-respect? All you have to do is act now! Start with the smallest discipline that corresponds to your own philosophy. Make the commitment: "I will discipline myself to achieve my goals so that in the years ahead I can celebrate my successes."

--by Jim Rohn

I have found that sometimes the subtle difference in our attitude, which of course can make a major difference in our future, can be as simple as the language we use. The difference in even how you talk to yourself or others. Consciously making a decision to quit saying what you don't want and to start saying what you do want. I call that faith. Believing the best, hoping for the best and moving toward the best.

A few examples could be, instead of saying "What if somebody doesn't respond" you start saying, "What if they do respond?" Instead of saying "What if someone says no?" You say, "What if they say yes?" Instead of "What if they start and quit?" say, "What if they start and stay?" or "What if it doesn't work out?" You say, "What if it does work out?" and the list goes on and on.

I found that when you start thinking and saying what you really want then your mind automatically shifts and pulls you in that direction. And sometimes it can be that simple, just a little twist in vocabulary that illustrates your attitude and philosophy.

Our language can also affect how others perform and behave around us. A teenager says to a parent, "I need $10." And if the parents learn to say, "No comprende. That kind of language doesn't work here. We've got plenty of money, but that's not how you get $10." Then you teach your teenager how to ask, "How can I earn $10?"

That is the magic of words. There is plenty of money here. There is money for everybody, but you just have to learn the magic words to get them. For everything you could possibly want. If you just learn the philosophy. How could I earn $10? Because you can't go to the soil and say, "Give me a harvest." You know the soil smiles and says, "Who is this clown that brings me his need and brings me no seed." And if you said to the soil, "I've got this seed and if I planted it, would you work while I sleep?" And the soil says, "No problem. Give me the seed. Go to sleep and I'll be working while you're sleeping."

If you just understand these simple principles, teaching them to a teenager (or adult) is sometimes just a matter of language. It's like an investment account instead of a savings account. Simple language, but so important. It is easy to stumble through almost a lifetime and not learn some of these simplicities. Then you have to put up with all the lack and all the challenges that don't work out simply from not reading the book, not listening to the tape, not sitting in the class, not studying your language and not being willing to search so you can then find.

But here is the great news. You can start this process anytime. For me it was at age 25. At 25 I'm broke. Six years later I'm a millionaire. Somebody says, "What kind of revolution, what kind of change, what kind of thinking, what kind of magic had to happen? Was it you?" And I say, "No. Any person, any six years, 36 to 42, 50 to 56. Whatever six years; whatever few years you go on an intensive, accelerated personal development curve, learning curve, application curve, and learning the disciplines. Now, it might not take the same amount of time, but I'm telling you the same changes and the same rewards in some different fashion are available for those who pay that six year price. And you might find that whether it's in the beginning to help get you started, or in the middle to keep you on track, that your language can have a great impact on your attitude, actions and results.

--by Jim Rohn

Of all the things that can have an effect on your future, I believe personal growth is the greatest. We can talk about sales growth, profit growth, asset growth, but all of this probably will not happen without personal growth. It’s really the open door to it all. In fact I’d like to have you memorize a most important phrase. Here it is, “The major key to your better future is YOU.”

Let me repeat that. “The major key to your better future is YOU.” Put that someplace you can see it every day, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, at the office, anywhere where you can see it every day. The major key to your better future is YOU. Try to remember that every day you live and think about it. The major key is YOU.

Now, there are many things that will help your better future. If you belong to a strong, dynamic, progressive company, that would help. If the company has good products, good services that you are proud of, that would certainly help. If there were good sales aids, that would help, good training would certainly help. If there is strong leadership, that will certainly help. All of these things will help, and of course, if it doesn’t storm, that will help. If your car doesn’t break down, that will help. If the kids don’t get sick, that will help. If the neighbors stay halfway civil, that will help. If your relatives don’t bug you, that will help. If it isn’t too cold, if it isn’t too hot, all those things will help your better future. And if prices don’t go much higher and if taxes don’t get much heavier, that will help. And if the economy stays stable, those things will all help. We could go on and on with the list; but remember this, the list of things that I’ve just covered and many more - all put together - play a minor role in your better future.

The major key to your better future is you. Lock your mind onto that. This is a super important point to remember. The major key is you. A friend of mine has always answered when asked, “How do you develop an above-average income?” He says, “Simple. Become an above-average person. Work on you.” My friend says, “Develop an above-average handshake.” He says, “A lot of people want to be successful, and they don’t even work on their handshake. As easy as that would be to start, they let it slide. They don’t understand.” My friend says, “Develop an above- average smile. Develop an above-average excitement. Develop an above-average dedication. Develop an above-average interest in other people.” He says, “To have more, become more.” Remember; work harder on yourself than you do on your job. For a long time in my life, I didn’t have this figured out.

Strangely enough, with two different people in the same company one may earn an extra $100 a month, and the other may earn a $1,000. What could possibly be the difference? If the products were the same, if the training was the same, if they both had the same literature, the same tools. If they both had the same teacher, the same compensation plan, if they both attended the same meetings, why would one person earn the $100 per month and the other person earn the $1000?
Remember here is the difference...the difference is personal, inside, not outside, inside.

You see the real difference is inside you. In fact, the difference IS you. Someone once said, “The magic is not in the products. The magic is not in the literature. The magic is not in the film. There isn’t a magic meeting, but the magic that makes things better is inside you, and personal growth makes this magic work for you.

The magic is in believing. The magic is in daring. The magic is in trying. The real magic is in persevering. The magic is in accepting. It’s in working. The magic is in thinking. There is magic in a handshake. There is magic in a smile. There is magic in excitement and determination. There is real magic in compassion and caring and sharing. There is unusual magic in strong feeling and you see, all that comes from inside, not outside. So, the difference is inside you. The real difference is you. You are the major key to your better future.

--by Jim Rohn

Empty nesters, women and men who have been in a career for decades, stay-at-home moms, parents retiring, college grads, and people returning from service... all are asked, What do you want to do now?

Are you asking yourself that question? Have you come up with some ideas, but....

I know what it is like when you are burnt out, can't figure out what to do next, or feel you just can't do it all by yourself.

Over the years, I have heard stories of desire and confusion when it comes to what to do next.

I was fortunate, sitting in my daughter's high school college meeting, that my idea to start Empty Nest Support Services came to me, motivated from not wanting anyone to go through this major life transition alone.

I knew nothing about websites, but I did know how to teach, inspire, and learn. I made a list of what I was good at doing, what compliments I had heard over the years. For example, "You make communicating so easy. You just are able to stay hopeful even when you have no idea how to solve your problems, you say it like it is but you aren't a punisher. I have never met anyone who follows their gut feelings like you do." I am not telling you this to brag. We all know what we are good at doing. I am telling you because it sticks when others share what they know about you.

I am telling you also because here is a way to find out what people think your talents, skills, and gifts are that you could offer to others. (No one told me math.)

GET STARTED:

1. Invite them to your home.

2. Feed them.

3. Give them paper to write how they have helped you, how they have seen you help others, what they think you would like to do, and finally what short phrase they would say about you. For example, "Kathy, you are the best organizer."

4. If a friend can't come, email them the questions to fill in and have them email them written back to you. Put a return date on the email. People complete with deadlines and structure.

5. I still remember how vulnerable and how much fun that evening was for me. It actually is not ego. It takes courage to ask for help.

6. Write what you aren't good at doing. How much would you pay someone to help you, or how could you barter your needs with someone who has the skill? I have bartered computer skills for my teaching, workshops, consultations, and more.

7. Have the courage to ask for help. You can research online or in your community in the local papers, throwaway magazines, and papers to get support.

8. Have someone interview you. One of my favorite things is to interview a new client of mine. Call me and you will see how that ignites what is next for you. It is quick, easy, and gives results. A surprise is revealed, and you will be smiling. A key is looking at who you are and who you aren't as of today and then having three steps of how to pull yourself up to what you want to become. I am simply passionate about revealing your dormant selves to you. I remember the six calls I had with a mother who, long story short, discovered by letting her talk about her joy in watching soap operas, that she really wanted to teach acting to elementary children. She just forgot that part of her through the decades of being mom and working in a bookstore.

No one wants to make changes alone. You don't have to. You need someone to ask the questions, really listen, and check back in with you. I, for sure, had professionals and friends on my path of building my new passions. I say passions because there is more to life than work.

When we are thinking about what is next, it doesn't only mean work. We simply get seduced into thinking we aren't enough if we aren't working, giving back. Not true. What's next could be making time for new relationships, both in partnering and friendships. I have seen where women want to date but are spending time with their friends and not making time to meet a partner. It is a comfort zone. Single parents feel overwhelmed, out of practice, and insecure about their looks, interests, and ways to connect.

Don't you wish we could just say what is to ourselves and then others? It is freeing.

More than anything, I know people want connections with like-minded others. They want a community. They don't want to always be the initiators and planners. Sound familiar?

My reminder to you is to not go through these transitions alone. If there is one risk you can force yourself to take, write what compliments you have heard about yourself over the years and ask your friends to email you or come over and write that list with you. OK, that is two risks.

Just do it. Stop that chatter in your head. Do it.

--by Natalie Caine, M.A.