Keep It SIMPLE

"In the mid-1980's, John Opel, the then Chairman of IBM, gave a talk to an audience of Stanford MBAs.
In response to a question for his advice about how newly-minted MBAs should embark on their careers, he delivered this very centered advice:

1. Create value
2. Don't fake it
3. Business is people

The element that made his answer so engaging was that, after number two (Don't fake it), John paused and
read the body language in the room. He then said, with passion, "No, really, I mean it!". It brought the
house down.

He had correctly detected a subcurrent of dismissal of this statement, and called them on it. He went on to say that we were all smart enough and smooth enough to fake it and get away with it, and that the only thing preventing us from doing so was our own desire to do better than that. For the right kind of person, not faking it is its own reward, and don't allow anyone ever to tell you otherwise.

The MBA whipper-snappers were shocked that they were so apparent to such an old fart. I think it had a
profound effect on at least a few attendees -- a great moment of wisdom passing from one generation to
another."

Recently, I began the practice of asking prospective coaches for my referral network to answer a version of the following question: "If you had to give three pieces of advice to a complete stranger that you felt certain would massively impact their happiness, success, and wellbeing, what would they be?"

Unsurprisingly, the answers have been fascinating, helpful, and fun. What I didn't expect was the value of the process to the person being asked the question! What seems to happen is that in being asked to formalise a lifetime of experience into three pithy phrases, people become more aware of what it is they have to offer that is unique to them, and what starts as an intellectual exercise becomes a wonderful affirmation of our inner wisdom and inner knowing.

Even better is the fact that because your three pieces of advice come directly from your self,
you'll never have to worry about forgetting them!

If you had to give three pieces of advice to a complete stranger that you felt certain would positively impact their happiness, success, and well-being, what would they be? or... If you could only give 3 pieces of advice to your children/a child on how to have a happy, healthy, successful life, what would they be?

This is the best true story being experimented.

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning. A man with a violin plays six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people passed through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle-aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin valued at $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the price of seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made... what else are we missing?

When asked, “How do you develop mental toughness in life?” my response might sound negative at first. I answer, “Always be prepared for a surprise. The surprise might be a negative surprise. Something is going to happen in your day, whether you are late because you got stuck behind a train or your car had a flat tire—something is going to happen. And the key is your ability not to take mole hills and look at them as mountains.”

Problems are a normal part of change. Things are changing so rapidly that there are going to be problems you face. So you must look at failure as an event, not as a person. I’m not a failure. Maybe I’ve had a failure or a temporary inconvenience. I’ve had a stumbling block, and the idea is to turn the stumbling block into a steppingstone, and step on it instead of stumble over it. So look at failure as the fertilizer of success.

Fertilizer stinks, it smells. You see that guy putting it on his lawn and you say, “Wow, that guy fertilized his lawn.” You fertilize your mistakes. You don’t wallow in them, lay in them, roll in them; you pick yourself up off your mistakes and learn from them. You try not to repeat that same thing again. But you look at it as a temporary inconvenience, as a detour—a detour in life—not as a failure.

--by Denis Waitley

A Philosophy professor stood before his class and has some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked his students if the jar was full? All the students agreed that the jar was full. So, the professor then picked up a box of small pebbles, and poured then into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, or course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. The students laughed. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar, and again, the sand filled up everything else.

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things in your life - your family, partner, your health, children - anything that is so important to you, that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else,
the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse or partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal." Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set Your priorities. The rest is just sand."

Most of us spend so much time talking, grieving and being angry about the closed door in our lives, we don’t see the open door. Les Brown, legendary human-potential expert, says our trials and disappointments can take us all to a door of discovery and greatness. Brown shows you how to:

Be Thankful. It’s easy to think about what is missing and ignore what you have. When you develop an attitude of gratitude, you begin to view things from that positive light and start working toward making something happen. Giving up is not an option you can entertain.

Be Thoughtful. When things go wrong, don’t go with them. As you look at yourself, you have to harness your will, you have to be grounded, you have to pause and you have to go within. Begin to clear your head and give yourself permission to accept the reality that is happening. And then turn the page and start working toward where you will go from there.

Be Active. Matt Jones, one of my speakers, wrote a book with the message: If you’re going through hell, don’t stop. Keep moving. Start with small steps and build from there. When you are not active and you’re not engaging in life, you have a tendency to worry and regret and to engage in less-than-useful emotions. It’s very important that you start moving and working and doing things that can give you some headway. The more active you are, the less chance you have of becoming depressed, angry and immobilized with fear.

Be Connected. Many times, people fail because they can’t see the picture when they are in the frame. They think there is no way out. These are people who are disconnected and feel isolated and desperate. But interacting with others provides a number of benefits, including helping us find new paths and new ideas to explore.

Be Patient. Don’t expect instant results. Plug away carefully and consistently, and keep the mindset that things are going to get better even though you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. We are living in a microwave society where we want instant results. But it’s not that kind of party. Patience and a spirit of expectation and trust will help you work to reach your goals and dreams.

--by Les Brown

"When he realizes that he is a creative power, and that he may command the hidden soil and seeds of his being out of which circumstances grow; he then becomes the rightful master of himself." —As a Man Thinketh

While reading an old classic, The Message of a Master by John McDonald, I was rocked by an incredibly insightful passage: “The cause of the confusion prevailing in your mind that weakens your thoughts is the false belief that there is a power or powers outside you greater than the power within you.”

Stop and think about that. What keeps us from attempting greater things—from reaching for the brass ring in our life? What makes us take that great idea that could make our family financially free and bury it underneath a lot of reasons why it’d never work? What stops us from that career change that would result in working in a profession we could really enjoy, and could get passionate about?

There’s only one thing that EVER stops us from forward momentum and McDonald nailed it: “The false belief that there is a power or powers outside you greater than the power within you.”

As I once heard a speaker say, “The magic is in YOU!” As James Allen tells us, once we realize that we can create our circumstances, then, and only then, are we truly the master of our life and our destiny.

Regardless of your particular spiritual beliefs, you may find these words from the Gospel of John very enlightening, “He that believeth in me, the works that I do, shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do.” That would indicate to me that we are already “endowed” with the power to do amazing things—far more amazing than most of us will ever attempt—if we’d only understand and BELIEVE that the power is within, not without.

And that’s worth thinking about.

--by Vic Johnson

Everyone wants to be physically healthy. You want to be mentally healthy as well. The true measure of “mental fitness” is how optimistic you are about yourself and your life.

Below you will learn how to control your thinking in very specific ways so that you feel terrific about yourself and your situation, no matter what happens.

Control Your Reactions and Reponses
There are three basic differences in the reactions of optimists and pessimists. The first difference is that the optimist sees a setback as temporary, while the pessimist sees it as permanent. The optimist sees an unfortunate event, such as an order that falls through or a sales call that fails, as a temporary event, something that is limited in time and that has no real impact on the future. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees negative events as permanent, as part of life and destiny.

Isolate the Incident
The second difference between the optimist and the pessimist is that the optimist sees difficulties as specific, while the pessimist sees them as pervasive. This means that when things go wrong for the optimist, he looks at the event as an isolated incident largely disconnected from other things that are going on in his life.

See Setbacks as Temporary Events
For example, if something you were counting on failed to materialize and you interpreted it to yourself as being an unfortunate event, but something that happens in the course of life and business, you would be reacting like an optimist. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees disappointments as being pervasive. That is, to him they are indications of a problem or shortcoming that pervades every area of life.

Don’t Take Failure Personally
The third difference between optimists and pessimists is that optimists see events as external, while pessimists interpret events as personal. When things go wrong, the optimist will tend to see the setback as resulting from external factors over which one has little control.

If the optimist is cut off in traffic, for example, instead of getting angry or upset, he will simply downgrade the importance of the event by saying something like, “Oh, well, I guess that person is just having a bad day.”

The pessimist on the other hand, has a tendency to take everything personally. If the pessimist is cut off in traffic, he will react as though the other driver has deliberately acted to upset and frustrate him.

Remain Calm and Objective
The hallmark of the fully mature, fully functioning, self-actualizing personality is the ability to be objective and unemotional when caught up in the inevitable storms of daily life. The superior person has the ability to continue talking to himself in a positive and optimistic way, keeping his mind calm, clear and completely under control. The mature personality is more relaxed and aware and capable of interpreting events more realistically and less emotionally than is the immature personality. As a result, the mature person exerts a far greater sense of control and influence over his environment, and is far less likely to be angry, upset or distracted.

Take the Long View
Look upon the inevitable setbacks that you face as being temporary, specific and external. View the negative situation as a single event that is not connected to other potential events and that is caused largely by external factors over which you can have little control. Simply refuse to see the event as being in any way permanent, pervasive or indicative of personal incompetence or inability.

Resolve to think like an optimist, no matter what happens. You may not be able to control events, but you can control the way you react to them.

Action Exercises
Now, here are three actions you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, remind yourself continually that setbacks are only temporary, they will soon be past and nothing is as serious as you think it is.

Second, look upon each problem as a specific event, not connected to other events and not indicative of a pattern of any kind. Deal with it and get on with your life.

Third, recognize that when things go wrong, they are usually caused by a variety of external events. Say to yourself, “What can’t be cured must be endured,” and then get back to thinking about your goals.

--by Brian Tracy

Humans have the remarkable ability to get exactly what they must have. But there is a difference between a “must” and a “want.”

The best motivation is self-motivation. A guy says, “I wish someone would come by and turn me on.” What if they don’t show up? You’ve got to have a better plan for your life.

When you know what you want, and you want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it.

Motivation alone is not enough. If you have an idiot and you motivate him, you now have a motivated idiot.

Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value.

Whatever dream you decide to go after, whether it is a family or a career goal, you must consciously decide that it is your life’s mission. Benjamin Disraeli said, “The secret of success is constancy to purpose.” You must go at it obsessively and set high standards for yourself along the way. There is no room for compromise when you are charting a course for your life or your career.

I spoke to a group of sharp young people not long ago, and when I finished, some of the fellows came up to me and said they were interested in becoming professional speakers. They invited me to go out with them that evening to have a good time. These fellows looked as though they knew how to have a seriously good time.

I had planned to work on my delivery that night by listening to the audio of my speech. (I record my speeches and listen to them later so I can study what works and what does not work with a particular audience. In effect, I listen to the audience listening to me.)

I was tempted to go with these fellows, and back when I was their age, I probably would have given in to that temptation and gone. But I have become more disciplined and more committed to my craft. A friend of mine, Wes Smith, wrote a humor book called Welcome to the Real World, and in it, he offered advice to fresh high-school and college graduates. He had a line in the book that pertains to the situation I faced that night. It said, “Having a drink with the boys after work every night is a bad idea. Notice that the boss doesn’t do it. That is why he is the boss and they are still the boys.”

Wes told me that he wrote that line with one particular group of hard-partying young businessmen in mind, and five years after the book came out, he ran into one of them. The guy volunteered that he’d read that line in Wes’s book and decided never to go drinking after work again. It paid off, he said. He had risen to a vice presidency at a savings and loan firm.

In my drive to become a public speaker, I developed that kind of focus, too. There is not a lot of time for hard partying if you are pursuing greatness. It was not that these young fellows were not serious about their interest in professional speaking, but that they were just as serious about having a good time. I don’t believe they were focused on their goals. They were seeking a profession, but they were not on a mission to make a dramatic difference in the world. I am. You should be, too.

Rather than the party crowd, I prefer to seek out people with knowledge that might be useful. I like to find out what books successful and intelligent people are reading. I want access to the information that contributes to their success and intelligence.

--by Les Brown

Donald Trump says the easiest way is often the mediocre way, and if you want to be innovative, it begins with an open mind. Here's his advice for you from his latest book, Think Like a Champion.

• "Instead of just focusing on what the masses are doing, you should take a break from expectations and plug into yourself."
• "Innovation follows the intersection of ideas." Get your mind working in new directions that can prove fruitful.
• Reevaluate. "You might find that your electricity is better suited to another socket. You might have to expert yourself, but look at the alternatives that remain."
• Get out of your comfort zone. "I call it complacency, and it's a good way to nowhere."
• "Take your pulse once in a while."
• "Don't limit yourself to staid thinking if you want to excel in business. My first book was called The Art of the Deal because I view business dealings as an art form. I employ both sides of my brain when I am thinking and working."

"Time is life. It is irreversible and irreplaceable. To waste your time is to waste your life, but to master your time is to master your life and make the most of it."
-- Alan Lakein

"Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it."
-- M. Scott Peck