Keep It SIMPLE

Three Pieces of Advice

2010-02-22T20:05:00.000-08:00

"In the mid-1980's, John Opel, the then Chairman of IBM, gave a talk to an audience of Stanford MBAs.
In response to a question for his advice about how newly-minted MBAs should embark on their careers, he delivered this very centered advice:

1. Create value
2. Don't fake it
3. Business is people

The element that made his answer so engaging was that, after number two (Don't fake it), John paused and
read the body language in the room. He then said, with passion, "No, really, I mean it!". It brought the
house down.

He had correctly detected a subcurrent of dismissal of this statement, and called them on it. He went on to say that we were all smart enough and smooth enough to fake it and get away with it, and that the only thing preventing us from doing so was our own desire to do better than that. For the right kind of person, not faking it is its own reward, and don't allow anyone ever to tell you otherwise.

The MBA whipper-snappers were shocked that they were so apparent to such an old fart. I think it had a
profound effect on at least a few attendees -- a great moment of wisdom passing from one generation to
another."

Recently, I began the practice of asking prospective coaches for my referral network to answer a version of the following question: "If you had to give three pieces of advice to a complete stranger that you felt certain would massively impact their happiness, success, and wellbeing, what would they be?"

Unsurprisingly, the answers have been fascinating, helpful, and fun. What I didn't expect was the value of the process to the person being asked the question! What seems to happen is that in being asked to formalise a lifetime of experience into three pithy phrases, people become more aware of what it is they have to offer that is unique to them, and what starts as an intellectual exercise becomes a wonderful affirmation of our inner wisdom and inner knowing.

Even better is the fact that because your three pieces of advice come directly from your self,
you'll never have to worry about forgetting them!

If you had to give three pieces of advice to a complete stranger that you felt certain would positively impact their happiness, success, and well-being, what would they be? or... If you could only give 3 pieces of advice to your children/a child on how to have a happy, healthy, successful life, what would they be?

2010-02-20T19:56:00.000-08:00

This is the best true story being experimented.

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning. A man with a violin plays six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people passed through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle-aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin valued at $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the price of seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made... what else are we missing?

Problems Are a Normal Part of Change

2010-02-18T19:54:00.000-08:00

When asked, “How do you develop mental toughness in life?” my response might sound negative at first. I answer, “Always be prepared for a surprise. The surprise might be a negative surprise. Something is going to happen in your day, whether you are late because you got stuck behind a train or your car had a flat tire—something is going to happen. And the key is your ability not to take mole hills and look at them as mountains.”

Problems are a normal part of change. Things are changing so rapidly that there are going to be problems you face. So you must look at failure as an event, not as a person. I’m not a failure. Maybe I’ve had a failure or a temporary inconvenience. I’ve had a stumbling block, and the idea is to turn the stumbling block into a steppingstone, and step on it instead of stumble over it. So look at failure as the fertilizer of success.

Fertilizer stinks, it smells. You see that guy putting it on his lawn and you say, “Wow, that guy fertilized his lawn.” You fertilize your mistakes. You don’t wallow in them, lay in them, roll in them; you pick yourself up off your mistakes and learn from them. You try not to repeat that same thing again. But you look at it as a temporary inconvenience, as a detour—a detour in life—not as a failure.

--by Denis Waitley

The rest is just sand

2010-02-16T19:53:00.000-08:00

A Philosophy professor stood before his class and has some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked his students if the jar was full? All the students agreed that the jar was full. So, the professor then picked up a box of small pebbles, and poured then into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, or course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. The students laughed. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar, and again, the sand filled up everything else.

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things in your life - your family, partner, your health, children - anything that is so important to you, that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else,
the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse or partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal." Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set Your priorities. The rest is just sand."

Look for an Open Door

2010-02-14T19:48:00.000-08:00

Most of us spend so much time talking, grieving and being angry about the closed door in our lives, we don’t see the open door. Les Brown, legendary human-potential expert, says our trials and disappointments can take us all to a door of discovery and greatness. Brown shows you how to:

Be Thankful. It’s easy to think about what is missing and ignore what you have. When you develop an attitude of gratitude, you begin to view things from that positive light and start working toward making something happen. Giving up is not an option you can entertain.

Be Thoughtful. When things go wrong, don’t go with them. As you look at yourself, you have to harness your will, you have to be grounded, you have to pause and you have to go within. Begin to clear your head and give yourself permission to accept the reality that is happening. And then turn the page and start working toward where you will go from there.

Be Active. Matt Jones, one of my speakers, wrote a book with the message: If you’re going through hell, don’t stop. Keep moving. Start with small steps and build from there. When you are not active and you’re not engaging in life, you have a tendency to worry and regret and to engage in less-than-useful emotions. It’s very important that you start moving and working and doing things that can give you some headway. The more active you are, the less chance you have of becoming depressed, angry and immobilized with fear.

Be Connected. Many times, people fail because they can’t see the picture when they are in the frame. They think there is no way out. These are people who are disconnected and feel isolated and desperate. But interacting with others provides a number of benefits, including helping us find new paths and new ideas to explore.

Be Patient. Don’t expect instant results. Plug away carefully and consistently, and keep the mindset that things are going to get better even though you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. We are living in a microwave society where we want instant results. But it’s not that kind of party. Patience and a spirit of expectation and trust will help you work to reach your goals and dreams.

--by Les Brown

The Magic Is in You

2010-02-12T19:46:00.000-08:00

"When he realizes that he is a creative power, and that he may command the hidden soil and seeds of his being out of which circumstances grow; he then becomes the rightful master of himself." —As a Man Thinketh

While reading an old classic, The Message of a Master by John McDonald, I was rocked by an incredibly insightful passage: “The cause of the confusion prevailing in your mind that weakens your thoughts is the false belief that there is a power or powers outside you greater than the power within you.”

Stop and think about that. What keeps us from attempting greater things—from reaching for the brass ring in our life? What makes us take that great idea that could make our family financially free and bury it underneath a lot of reasons why it’d never work? What stops us from that career change that would result in working in a profession we could really enjoy, and could get passionate about?

There’s only one thing that EVER stops us from forward momentum and McDonald nailed it: “The false belief that there is a power or powers outside you greater than the power within you.”

As I once heard a speaker say, “The magic is in YOU!” As James Allen tells us, once we realize that we can create our circumstances, then, and only then, are we truly the master of our life and our destiny.

Regardless of your particular spiritual beliefs, you may find these words from the Gospel of John very enlightening, “He that believeth in me, the works that I do, shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do.” That would indicate to me that we are already “endowed” with the power to do amazing things—far more amazing than most of us will ever attempt—if we’d only understand and BELIEVE that the power is within, not without.

And that’s worth thinking about.

--by Vic Johnson

Be an Optimist at All Times

2010-02-10T19:44:00.000-08:00

Everyone wants to be physically healthy. You want to be mentally healthy as well. The true measure of “mental fitness” is how optimistic you are about yourself and your life.

Below you will learn how to control your thinking in very specific ways so that you feel terrific about yourself and your situation, no matter what happens.

Control Your Reactions and Reponses
There are three basic differences in the reactions of optimists and pessimists. The first difference is that the optimist sees a setback as temporary, while the pessimist sees it as permanent. The optimist sees an unfortunate event, such as an order that falls through or a sales call that fails, as a temporary event, something that is limited in time and that has no real impact on the future. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees negative events as permanent, as part of life and destiny.

Isolate the Incident
The second difference between the optimist and the pessimist is that the optimist sees difficulties as specific, while the pessimist sees them as pervasive. This means that when things go wrong for the optimist, he looks at the event as an isolated incident largely disconnected from other things that are going on in his life.

See Setbacks as Temporary Events
For example, if something you were counting on failed to materialize and you interpreted it to yourself as being an unfortunate event, but something that happens in the course of life and business, you would be reacting like an optimist. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees disappointments as being pervasive. That is, to him they are indications of a problem or shortcoming that pervades every area of life.

Don’t Take Failure Personally
The third difference between optimists and pessimists is that optimists see events as external, while pessimists interpret events as personal. When things go wrong, the optimist will tend to see the setback as resulting from external factors over which one has little control.

If the optimist is cut off in traffic, for example, instead of getting angry or upset, he will simply downgrade the importance of the event by saying something like, “Oh, well, I guess that person is just having a bad day.”

The pessimist on the other hand, has a tendency to take everything personally. If the pessimist is cut off in traffic, he will react as though the other driver has deliberately acted to upset and frustrate him.

Remain Calm and Objective
The hallmark of the fully mature, fully functioning, self-actualizing personality is the ability to be objective and unemotional when caught up in the inevitable storms of daily life. The superior person has the ability to continue talking to himself in a positive and optimistic way, keeping his mind calm, clear and completely under control. The mature personality is more relaxed and aware and capable of interpreting events more realistically and less emotionally than is the immature personality. As a result, the mature person exerts a far greater sense of control and influence over his environment, and is far less likely to be angry, upset or distracted.

Take the Long View
Look upon the inevitable setbacks that you face as being temporary, specific and external. View the negative situation as a single event that is not connected to other potential events and that is caused largely by external factors over which you can have little control. Simply refuse to see the event as being in any way permanent, pervasive or indicative of personal incompetence or inability.

Resolve to think like an optimist, no matter what happens. You may not be able to control events, but you can control the way you react to them.

Action Exercises
Now, here are three actions you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, remind yourself continually that setbacks are only temporary, they will soon be past and nothing is as serious as you think it is.

Second, look upon each problem as a specific event, not connected to other events and not indicative of a pattern of any kind. Deal with it and get on with your life.

Third, recognize that when things go wrong, they are usually caused by a variety of external events. Say to yourself, “What can’t be cured must be endured,” and then get back to thinking about your goals.

--by Brian Tracy

Desire/Motivation

2010-02-08T19:43:00.000-08:00

Humans have the remarkable ability to get exactly what they must have. But there is a difference between a “must” and a “want.”

The best motivation is self-motivation. A guy says, “I wish someone would come by and turn me on.” What if they don’t show up? You’ve got to have a better plan for your life.

When you know what you want, and you want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it.

Motivation alone is not enough. If you have an idiot and you motivate him, you now have a motivated idiot.

Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value.

Focusing and Acting on Your Dream

2010-02-06T19:42:00.000-08:00

Whatever dream you decide to go after, whether it is a family or a career goal, you must consciously decide that it is your life’s mission. Benjamin Disraeli said, “The secret of success is constancy to purpose.” You must go at it obsessively and set high standards for yourself along the way. There is no room for compromise when you are charting a course for your life or your career.

I spoke to a group of sharp young people not long ago, and when I finished, some of the fellows came up to me and said they were interested in becoming professional speakers. They invited me to go out with them that evening to have a good time. These fellows looked as though they knew how to have a seriously good time.

I had planned to work on my delivery that night by listening to the audio of my speech. (I record my speeches and listen to them later so I can study what works and what does not work with a particular audience. In effect, I listen to the audience listening to me.)

I was tempted to go with these fellows, and back when I was their age, I probably would have given in to that temptation and gone. But I have become more disciplined and more committed to my craft. A friend of mine, Wes Smith, wrote a humor book called Welcome to the Real World, and in it, he offered advice to fresh high-school and college graduates. He had a line in the book that pertains to the situation I faced that night. It said, “Having a drink with the boys after work every night is a bad idea. Notice that the boss doesn’t do it. That is why he is the boss and they are still the boys.”

Wes told me that he wrote that line with one particular group of hard-partying young businessmen in mind, and five years after the book came out, he ran into one of them. The guy volunteered that he’d read that line in Wes’s book and decided never to go drinking after work again. It paid off, he said. He had risen to a vice presidency at a savings and loan firm.

In my drive to become a public speaker, I developed that kind of focus, too. There is not a lot of time for hard partying if you are pursuing greatness. It was not that these young fellows were not serious about their interest in professional speaking, but that they were just as serious about having a good time. I don’t believe they were focused on their goals. They were seeking a profession, but they were not on a mission to make a dramatic difference in the world. I am. You should be, too.

Rather than the party crowd, I prefer to seek out people with knowledge that might be useful. I like to find out what books successful and intelligent people are reading. I want access to the information that contributes to their success and intelligence.

--by Les Brown

Open Your Mind

2010-02-04T19:39:00.000-08:00

Donald Trump says the easiest way is often the mediocre way, and if you want to be innovative, it begins with an open mind. Here's his advice for you from his latest book, Think Like a Champion.

"Instead of just focusing on what the masses are doing, you should take a break from expectations and plug into yourself."
"Innovation follows the intersection of ideas." Get your mind working in new directions that can prove fruitful.
Reevaluate. "You might find that your electricity is better suited to another socket. You might have to expert yourself, but look at the alternatives that remain."
Get out of your comfort zone. "I call it complacency, and it's a good way to nowhere."
"Take your pulse once in a while."
"Don't limit yourself to staid thinking if you want to excel in business. My first book was called The Art of the Deal because I view business dealings as an art form. I employ both sides of my brain when I am thinking and working."

Time

2010-02-02T19:38:00.000-08:00

"Time is life. It is irreversible and irreplaceable. To waste your time is to waste your life, but to master your time is to master your life and make the most of it."
-- Alan Lakein

"Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it."
-- M. Scott Peck

Plan! Action! Follow-Through!

2010-01-30T19:36:00.000-08:00

Action! It's the most powerful word in the English language.

Planning is important; positive belief is critical; preparation makes a difference.

But, without the follow-through principle of action, nothing happens -- nothing!!

This concept is simple, but sometimes, not so easy to implement. Have you ever had a time in your life when you just couldn't get motivated? You knew what you wanted to do, you had the desire, but you just couldn't motivate yourself to take the first step. When your get-up-and-go has gone and you find it difficult to get motivated to take action, consider this -- you may be going about it all wrong.

Experts in the field of human motivation tell us that instead of waiting until we are motivated to take action, we need to reverse the process and take action to get motivated.

Nothing makes us feel enthusiastic like acting enthusiastic. Nothing inspires creativity like getting started on a new project. Nothing gives us the energy to move ahead like taking that first step, and then the next. Your emotions take their clues from your actions, not the other way around.

Many lack motivation because of fear: fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of too much success, fear of what others might think, fear, fear, fear. It can leave us paralyzed and ineffective. What is the cure for fear? ACTION! If you are afraid of rejection, contact more people. If you fear ridicule, make your presentation dynamic and audacious. If you worry about failure, take action that will move you toward success. The truth is, most of the things we worry about never come to pass. So why worry? Instead, take decisive action to cure your worry and overcome fear!
So, next time you just don't feel like it, do it anyway. Few things are as bad as we imagine they will be if we will simply jump in with both feet, pretending that we can't wait to get started. Pretty soon you will feel like it. Shakespeare said it like this, "assume a virtue if you have it not." In other words, if you want to be happy, try acting happy. If you need energy, act as if you have barrels full! If you want to feel motivated, take motivated action. Ham it up! Make it fun. Without a doubt, your feelings will follow your actions and pretty soon your actions will help you feel truly motivated.

Try it!

MOTIVATION/INSPIRATION

2010-01-28T19:35:00.000-08:00

“Motivation is an inner force that compels behavior.”
--Denis Waitley

“Love is a better master than duty.”
--Albert Einstein

“To succeed… you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.”
--Tony Dorsett

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily.”
--Zig Ziglar

Sophistication

2010-01-26T19:33:00.000-08:00

Most people are just trying to get through the day. Sophisticated people learn how to get from the day.

Sophistication is understanding the difference between trinkets and treasures.

Don’t spend major money on minor things. In the last ten years the guy has bought two tons of donuts and only two books—and the books are primarily filled with pictures.

Sophisticated people don’t leave early. The man says, “Yeah, but I want to beat the traffic.” Isn’t that a great skill to have—beating the traffic!

It doesn’t take a million dollars to learn the difference between a bottle of fine wine and a Pepsi. Sophistication is a study, not an amount.

One of the early signs of sophistication is not giving way to all inclinations but rather sending your emotions to school so they will learn how to behave.

Money doesn’t make you sophisticated. Only study and practice make you sophisticated. Even people of modest means can become sophisticated because it is within study and practice. How much is a night out at the symphony? About thirty dollars. You say, “Poor people can’t afford thirty dollars to go to the symphony.” Yes, they can. It’s only thirty Hershey bars!

We must teach our children not to spend their money a dollar at a time. If you spend your money a dollar at a time, you’ll wind up with trinkets instead of treasures. You can’t buy much of value a dollar at a time.

OVERCOMING FAILURE

2010-01-24T19:33:00.000-08:00

“Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”
--Denis Waitley

“I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed; and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep on trying.”
--Tom Hopkins

“No man ever became great or good except through many and great mistakes.”
--William E. Gladstone

“When you make a mistake, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind, and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.”
--Mary Pickford

Taking Action

2010-01-22T18:55:00.000-08:00

Marc Wright, president of the Kiddie Card Company, is one of the youngest entrepreneurs in Canada. He started his business when he was just 6 years old after listening to some motivational tapes. Following a visit to an art museum, Marc thought he would make some drawings and see if he could earn money. His mother suggested he put his pictures on cards and sell them. He was an immediate success with some rather unique concepts.

Marc knocks on doors and gives his short, but effective sales talk. “Hi. My name is Marc, and I’m freezing! I’m selling greeting cards. How many would you like to buy? Here’s a handful. Just pick the ones you want and pay me what you want.” His cards are hand-drawn on pink, green and white paper. They cover the season of the year, and Marc sells them about three days a week. He averages about 75 cents a card and sells about 25 cards an hour.

His first year in business, Marc earned $3,000, enough to take his mom on a trip to Disney World.

By age 10, Marc had become something of a media celebrity. He appeared on Late Night with David Letterman and was interviewed by Conan O’Brien.

Marc had an idea, didn’t count his birthdays, received some encouragement from his mother, and started his business.

Question: Do you have an idea that’s marketable? If you do, take action!

--by Zig Ziglar

I Believe

2010-01-20T19:25:00.000-08:00

I believe every person has within themselves inexhaustible reserves of potential they have never even come close to realizing.

I believe each person has far more intelligence than they have ever used.

I believe each person is more creative than he or she has ever imagined.

I believe the greatest achievements of your life lie ahead of you.

I believe the happiest moments of your life are yet to come.

I believe the greatest successes you will ever attain are still waiting for you on the road ahead.
And, I believe through learning and application of what you learn, you can solve any problem, overcome any obstacle and achieve any goal that you can set for yourself.

--by Brian Tracy

17 Principles of Personal Achievement

2010-01-18T19:22:00.000-08:00

Lesson 1: Definiteness of Purpose
Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement. Without a purpose and a plan, people drift aimlessly through life.

Lesson 2: Mastermind Alliance
The Mastermind principle consists of an alliance of two or more minds working in perfect harmony for the attainment of a common definite objective. Success does not come without the cooperation of others.

Lesson 3: Applied Faith
Faith is a state of mind through which your aims, desires, plans and purposes may be translated into their physical or financial equivalent.

Lesson 4: Going the Extra Mile
Going the extra mile is the action of rendering more and better service than that for which you are presently paid. When you go the extra mile, the Law of Compensation comes into play.

Lesson 5: Pleasing Personality
Personality is the sum total of one’s mental, spiritual and physical traits and habits that distinguish one from all others. It is the factor that determines whether one is liked or disliked by others.

Lesson 6: Personal Initiative
Personal initiative is the power that inspires the completion of that which one begins. It is the power that starts all action. No person is free until he learns to do his own thinking and gains the courage to act on his own.

Lesson 7: Positive Mental Attitude
Positive mental attitude is the right mental attitude in all circumstances. Success attracts more success while failure attracts more failure.

Lesson 8: Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm is faith in action. It is the intense emotion known as burning desire. It comes from within, although it radiates outwardly in the expression of one’s voice and countenance.

Lesson 9: Self-Discipline
Self-discipline begins with the mastery of thought. If you do not control your thoughts, you cannot control your needs. Self-discipline calls for a balancing of the emotions of your heart with the reasoning faculty of your head.

Lesson 10: Accurate Thinking
The power of thought is the most dangerous or the most beneficial power available to man, depending on how it is used.

Lesson 11: Controlled Attention
Controlled attention leads to mastery in any type of human endeavor, because it enables one to focus the powers of his mind upon the attainment of a definite objective and to keep it so directed at will.

Lesson 12: Teamwork
Teamwork is harmonious cooperation that is willing, voluntary and free. Whenever the spirit of teamwork is the dominating influence in business or industry, success is inevitable. Harmonious cooperation is a priceless asset that you can acquire in proportion to your giving.

Lesson 13: Adversity & Defeat
Individual success usually is in exact proportion of the scope of the defeat the individual has experienced and mastered. Many so-called failures represent only a temporary defeat that may prove to be a blessing in disguise.

Lesson 14: Creative Vision
Creative vision is developed by the free and fearless use of one’s imagination. It is not a miraculous quality with which one is gifted or is not gifted at birth.

Lesson 15: Health
Sound health begins with a sound health consciousness, just as financial success begins with a prosperity consciousness.

Lesson 16: Budgeting Time & Money
Time and money are precious resources, and few people striving for success ever believe they possess either one in excess.

Lesson 17: Habits
Developing and establishing positive habits leads to peace of mind, health and financial security. You are where you are because of your established habits and thoughts and deeds.

--by Napoleon Hill

Things to Ponder

2010-01-16T19:21:00.000-08:00

"Make a habit of dominating the listening and let the customer dominate the talking."
--Brian Tracy

"I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention."
--Diane Sawyer

"A professional knows when his or her most effective presentation is not to give one. Do you have clients who are having a bad day? Don't try to sell to them. Do try to listen to them and earn their trust."
--Tom Hopkins

"Most of us tend to suffer from 'agenda anxiety', the feeling that what we want to say to others is more important than what we think they might want to say to us."
--Nido Qubein

Accepting Responsibility—a Story of Bill Russell

2010-01-14T19:19:00.000-08:00

Most people dread accepting responsibility. That’s just a fact of life, and we can see it in operation every day. Yes, we can see avoidance of responsibility all the time in both our personal and professional lives. And here’s something else we can see just as often: We can see that most people aren’t as successful as they wish they were. Do you see there is a connection between these two very common phenomena?

It’s in your best interest to take responsibility for everything you do. But that’s only the beginning. Many times it’s even best to take responsibility for the mistakes of others, especially when you’re in a managerial or leadership role.

During the years when professional basketball was just beginning to become really popular, Bill Russell, who played center for the Boston Celtics, was one of the greatest players in the pro league. He was especially known for his rebounding and his defensive skills.

But like a lot of very tall centers, Russell was never much of a free throw shooter. His free throw percentage was quite a bit below average, in fact. But this low percentage didn’t really give a clear picture of Russell’s ability as an athlete. And in one game he gave a very convincing demonstration of this.

It was the final game of a championship series between Boston and the Los Angeles Lakers. With about 12 seconds left to play, the Lakers were behind by one point and Boston had the ball. It was obvious that the Lakers would have to foul one of Boston’s players in order to get the ball back, and they chose to foul Bill Russell.

This was a perfectly logical choice, since statistically Russell was the worst free throw shooter on the court at that moment. If he missed the shot, the Lakers would probably get the ball back and they’d still have enough time to try to win the game. But if Russell made his first free throw, the Lakers’ chances would be seriously diminished. And if he made both shots, the game would essentially be over.

Bill Russell had a very peculiar style of shooting free throws. Today, no self-respecting basketball player anywhere in America would attempt it. Aside from the question of whether it’s an effective way to shoot a basket, it just looked too ridiculous. Whenever he had to shoot a free throw, the six-foot-eleven Russell would start off holding the ball in both hands about waist high, then he’d squat down and as he straightened up he’d let go of the ball. It looked like he was trying to throw a bucket of dirt over a wall.

But regardless of how he looked, as soon as Bill Russell was fouled, he knew the Celtics were going to win the game. He was absolutely certain of it because, in a situation like this, statistics and percentages mean nothing. There was a much more important factor at work, something that no one has found a way to express in numbers and decimal points.

Simply put, Bill Russell was a player who wanted to take responsibility for the success or failure of his team. He wanted the weight on his shoulders in a situation like this. No possibility for excuses. No possibility of blaming anyone else if the game was lost. No second-guessing. Bill Russell wanted the ball in his own hands and nobody else’s. And, like magic, even if he’d missed every free throw he’d ever shot in his life before this, he knew he was going to make this one. And that is exactly what happened.

That is what virtually always happens when a man or woman accepts responsibility eagerly and with confidence. I’ve always felt that accepting responsibility is one of the highest forms of human maturity. A willingness to be accountable, to put yourself on the line, is really the defining characteristic of adulthood.

--by Jim Rohn

MASTERY

2010-01-12T19:18:00.000-08:00

“It is better to say, ‘This one thing I do’ than to say, ‘These forty things I dabble in.’ ”
--Washington Gladden

“A man who works with his hands is a laborer; a man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman; but a man who works with his hands and his brain and his heart is an artist.”
--Louis Nizer

“A professional is a person who can do his best at a time when he doesn’t particularly feel like it.”
--Alistair Cooke

“I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions, but to understand.”
--Baruch Spinoza

Personal Responsibility

2010-01-10T19:15:00.000-08:00

Don’t become a victim of yourself. Forget about the thief waiting in the alley; what about the thief in your mind?

It is not what happens that determines the major part of your future.
What happens, happens to us all. It is what you do about what happens that counts.

You say, “The country is messed up.” That’s like cursing the soil and the seed and the sunshine and the rain, which is all you’ve got. Don’t curse all you’ve got. When you get your own planet, you can rearrange this whole deal. This one, you’ve got to take it like it comes.

Walk away from the 97% crowd. Don’t use their excuses. Take charge of your own life.

Take advice, but not orders. Only give yourself orders. Abraham Lincoln once said, “Since I will be no one’s slave, I will be no one’s master.”

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.
That is something you have charge of. You don’t have charge of the constellations, but you do have charge of whether you read, develop new skills, and take new classes.

Your paycheck is not your employer’s responsibility; it’s your responsibility. Your employer has no control over your value, but you do.

MARKETING

2010-01-08T19:14:00.000-08:00

“Your marketing efforts have to be ongoing, consistent and relentless. Hi-Tech, Low-Tech, No Tech and sometimes totally shameless.”
--Patricia Fripp

“Ninety percent of the success of any product or service is its promotion and marketing.”
--Mark Victor Hansen

“Your competitive advantage must be perceivable, promotable, and something the market will pay for.”
--Brian Tracy

“Because its purpose is to create a customer, the business has two basic functions: marketing and innovation. Marketing and innovation produce results; all the rest are costs.”
--Peter Drucker

The Butterfly Effect

2010-01-06T19:11:00.000-08:00

It was 1960 and meteorologist Edward Lorenz was working in his lab. He was entering data into his computer in the hope of modeling weather patterns when he stumbled upon a theory that is known as “The Butterfly Effect.” He was entering wind speed, air pressure and temperature into three separate equations that were linked in a mathematical feedback loop. This equation allowed Lorenz to predict weather patterns.

One day Lorenz was in a bit of a hurry and opted to take a shortcut when entering the data. He rounded the numbers to the nearest one thousandth rather than to the nearest one millionth (for example, .407 instead of .407349). As a scientist, he knew this would change the result; however, he expected only a minor change. Lorenz was astounded to discover that this tiny change made a profound impact on the final resulting weather pattern. This discovery led Lorenz to ponder: Does the flap of a butterfly’s wing in Brazil cause a tornado in Texas? Thus, you have “The Butterfly Effect” theory.

This theory has been applied to all areas of science since Lorenz’s 1960 experiment.

What does it mean for your life?

It means that every decision or action that you make—no matter how small—could potentially dramatically alter the course of your life. My life, as I am sure is the case with yours, is a testimony to “The Butterfly Effect.” When I was 12 years old, I met a friend named Brian in P.E. class. More than two decades later, Brian is still my best friend. At the age of 12, Brian had a thirst for learning and studying (the other 12-year-olds called him a nerd), and he was a fitness fanatic. He still has these qualities, and because of our friendship they rubbed off on me. At the age of 18, I needed a job and he secured me a job where he worked as a telemarketer. My third day on the job, I made a telemarketing call to someone in the seminar business. He thought I was a good telemarketer and offered me a job over the phone.

Did you follow that?

You might read my books or come hear me speak because I was offered a job at the age of 18 from a seminar company. I would have never been offered that job if Brian hadn’t gotten me the telemarketing job, and Brian would never have known me if we hadn’t met at the age of 12 in P.E! I have an insatiable desire for learning that began at age 12 and have developed into a fitness fanatic as well. Most of the major events in my life can be traced back to a conversation in a gym more than two decades ago—that is “The Butterfly Effect.”

ACTION POINTS
- Realize that “The Butterfly Effect” is very real and small decisions or actions can make a huge impact on your life.
- Take responsibility for your decisions, actions and friends—even the tiny decisions—realizing that they can dramatically alter the course of your life.
- Understand the importance of attention to detail. Years before 1986, the smallest flaw was overlooked in a Space Shuttle O-ring. That flaw led to a horrific “Butterfly Effect”—the deaths of seven astronauts years later in January 1986.
- Do not allow “The Butterfly Effect” to paralyze you in inaction. Instead, use it as the spark of motivation to fan the fire of action, realizing that you control your destiny even in the tiniest of ways.

--by Ron White

MANAGEMENT

2010-01-04T19:10:00.000-08:00

“Start new hires off strong. Load them with responsibilities from the first day.”
--Brian Tracy

“Tell me, and I’ll forget. Show me, and I’ll remember. Involve me, and I’ll learn.”
--Marla Jones

“Good people are found not changed. Recently I read a headline that said, ‘We don’t teach people to be nice. We simply hire nice people.’ Wow! What a clever shortcut.”
--Jim Rohn

“People don’t quit because of money. People leave bad bosses.”
--Beverly Kaye

The Secret of Time

2010-01-02T19:07:00.000-08:00

There is a tide in the affairs of men
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries
—William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

So you walk a little today, get your heart rate up a bit, you lift a few weights, you eat a little differently, then tomorrow morning you wake up and look in the mirror… and see the same old flubber. You have to be pretty well along the path to see any significant results. What keeps you doing this simple thing, day after day?

Will power! It’s like my dad (mom, teacher, boss, older brother, minster, self) always told me… I just need more will power.

Really? I don’t think so. (A friend of mine used to say that people on diets who complain that they lack will power are usually suffering more from a lack of won’t power!) Will power is vastly overrated. For most people, will power ends up looking and feeling like some sort of grim self-tyranny, and involves creating an elaborate, artificial reward-and-punishment system.

Do you want to change? If so, I can show you how to tap into the most powerful force for change there is. Would you like to know what it is? Are you ready? Here it is: TIME.

Position your daily actions so time is working for instead of against you. Because time will either promote you or expose you.

What keeps you on the path is your Slight Edge philosophy, which includes your understanding of the secret of time. Knowing the secret of time, you say: If I stay on this road long enough, I’ll get the result I seek. It’s not a question of your mood, your feeling or your attitude. And it’s not a question of will power. It’s a question of simply knowing.

When you enter a darkened room, why does your hand reach out for the light switch? Because you know that when you hit the switch, the light will go on. You don’t have to give yourself positive self-talk about how you really ought to hit that light switch, or set up a system of rewards and punishments for yourself around whether you follow through or not with hitting the light switch. You don’t need any rigmarole; you just hit the switch. Why? Because you know what will happen.

You know.

It’s the exact same thing here; you walk a little every day, lift a few weights, eat a little better, and leave the penny in the purse (hit the light switch) because you know it will make you healthy and wealthy (the light will turn on).

It’s the exact same thing, no different—except for one thing, and that is time.

--by Jeff Olson

Can't but Can!

2009-12-30T19:05:00.000-08:00

You Can't Decide The Length Of our Life,
But You Can Control How You Want To Live It.

You Can’t Control The Weather,
But You Can Control Your Mood.

You Can't Change Your Look,
But You Can Smile.

You Can’t Control Others,
But You Can Control Yourself.

You Can't Foresee Tomorrow,
But You Can Utilize Today Wisely.

You Can't Win Everything,
But You Can Try Your Very Best To Achieve That.

Keeping Your Mind Tuned for Success

2009-12-28T19:02:00.000-08:00

Absolutely no one can overestimate the power of the mind and its role in our success! It is imperative to keep our minds right and on the right track if we are to achieve balanced success in our career, finances, health, emotions, relationships and spiritual lives.

The analogy I would like to use here is one of a radio station. For example, there may be a “Success” station. But the only way you can hear a radio station is to be tuned into it. Even a little off and you can’t get the full effect.

The same is true with our mind and success. If our minds and our thoughts get sidetracked, our success will get sidetracked. As our minds stay tuned to “success” our bodies will then carry out our success and we will begin to experience abundance!

So here are some ways to keep tuned into success!

Use your innate ability to decide and choose. One of the things that separate us from the animals is that we live not by instinct, but by choice. Constantly flexing that muscle of choice builds it up and keeps us on track for success. It is like working out. The more we do, the stronger we get. The more “fit” we get. Want to keep your mind tuned for success? Keep it healthy by making good choices and decisions on a regular basis. For example, do you have a bad habit? Then flex your mind muscle and choose to change—today. If you choose to stay the same way (and those are the only two alternatives) you will have just chosen to tune your mind to a different station than “success.”

Put good stuff into your brain. There are lots of things that want to work their way into our minds (and eventually work themselves out again in our actions). There will be lots that we just get from walking around all day. But what about what we put in on purpose? We can choose to put good stuff in on a regular basis. Do you take time each day to put good things into your mind, to tune into success? Here are two things to consider when you are choosing what to put into your mind: First, is it positive? Will it build you up or tear you down? Will it make you a better person, or lesser? Will you grow from it or not? Will it tune you to success or not? Secondly, Will it move you toward your goals in the areas of your life that you want to see success and abundance in?

Keep the junk out. Like I mentioned above, there will always be junk floating around, like a fellow employee who gripes all the time. But what surprises me is how many people who want success, actually willfully choose to put junk into their minds and then expect to be tuned into success. Here are some thoughts on this: First, evaluate everything that you put into your mind. Evaluate what you read, listen to and watch. We live in a fast-paced world and we have little time. Why then would we spend our precious time putting junk into our minds? Does what you read, listen to and watch move you toward your goals or away from them? It is a simple question, really. At least most of the time. And here is my soapbox. Eleven years ago, my wife suggested we give away our television. I was shocked to say the least, but decided to give it a try. Now I am the anti-TV fanatic in our house! I have more time than anyone I know and I don’t have to spend a lot of energy filtering my mind to tune it to success. Just a thought. Just a thought.

Eat right and exercise. That’s right. The way we eat and the amount of exercise we get goes a long way toward our mind’s ability to tune into success. Put the right foods into your body and the brain responds. Exercise on a regular basis and the body releases chemicals that literally ignite your brain for success!

Hope these thoughts help you to get going and keep your mind tuned into success. Put them into practice and soon you’ll be dialed into success and abundance.

--by Chris Widener

Bouncing Back from Tough Times with Self-Encouragement Part 3

2009-12-26T19:29:00.000-08:00

This is the last installment in a three-part series of articles.

Increasing Your Resiliency
Resilience is the ability to return to the original form after being bent, stretched or compressed. That’s the dictionary’s definition of resilience. It’s the ability to readily recover from illness, or depression, or adversity.

In our lives, resilience specifically means being able to withstand setbacks, broken hearts and broken dreams, financial crisis, loss of loved ones, loss of enterprise, and loss of health. How would you ever handle it if you lost everything you had today? What would your next step be? How long would you be depressed and upset and angry? What would it take for you to pull yourself up and start all over again? How resilient are you? Could you handle it? Could you learn from all of your disappointments and start all over again? What would it take?

Number one, it would take a lot of self-discipline. It would take a lot of positive self-talk to muster up the energy to begin again. It would take a lot of concentration to block out the noise and the clutter of all the negative voices trying to get through, as well as the negative voices of others around you. That’s a lot! It would take a lot of discipline to balance the fear and anxiety with the knowledge that, if you did it once, you can do it all over again.

It would also take a lot of self-reliance. Whether your losses had anything to do with you or not, your future success has everything to do with you. It would take a lot of self-reliance to avoid blame. What’s happened has happened. You would need to get on with your life and begin again.

It would take a lot of faith. It would take a lot of faith and trust in God to move ahead.

If you lost everything tomorrow and you were gathering all the courage to try again, it would take a lot of self-appreciation. You need to know in your heart and mind that you have the skills, the talent and the strength to do it one more time.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, no matter how large or how small. You lose a client, one of your biggest ones. This client accounts for more than 25 percent of your gross revenue. Losing this client is going to hurt, financially and emotionally. Losing this client is going to negatively affect things for a while. The first thing you do is figure out why you lost this business. What role did you play? In what way are you responsible? You can’t just rant and rave, yelling and screaming at everyone in the office. Even if it was the wrongdoing of someone else, you can’t act like this, because it’s not professional. You’ll lose respect. And respect is hard to regain once you’ve lost it, whether it’s the respect of those you work with, your trusted colleagues or your valuable support people. You have to approach the situation rationally and figure out how to bounce back from your loss.

You have to evaluate the situation and then start a plan to recapture the lost business. Consider how you can increase your market share with other businesses. Maybe you can network with associates to bring in a similar client or even a better one! You can’t sit back and dwell on what’s happened. You’ve got to get back into the marketplace and recapture what’s been taken from you. Get back at it and replace what’s gone.

Perhaps your loss is a personal loss. Maybe you’ve recently been faced with the death of a loved one, a divorce or the loss of a very special friendship. If your loss is a deeply personal one, you must approach the situation a little differently. You must be patient with yourself and give yourself time to grieve, time to mourn, time to regroup.

The stages we go through in loss, be it the death of a loved one, the death of a relationship or the death of an enterprise, are beautifully defined in Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ book On Death and Dying. Whether the death is a literal one or a figurative one, the stages are the same: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. And only by going through these stages and reaching acceptance can we rebound and begin again.

It’s said that children are more resilient than adults. Why? Maybe it’s because they don’t evaluate their current situation based on past experiences. They approach it in a fresh way, a new way. In their own minds, they deal with loss much better than adults.

Children who grow up in the unfortunate circumstances of poverty or abuse or neglect and later become successful are known as “dandelion children.” If they can succeed and prosper with terrible conditions, they can grow anywhere. It’s important to be more like a dandelion child. To be able to grow and prosper and succeed despite our current conditions. To be able to grow and prosper and succeed despite our losses. To be resilient.

Cultivating a resilient character turns what others would call failure into success. A resilient person won’t give up. A resilient person will, in spite of all obstacles and setbacks, keep doing it until.

In their book The Resilient Self, Steven and Sybil Wolin studied resilience and found seven key characteristics that compose it.

No. 1: Resilience requires insight. You need to develop the ability to ask tough questions of yourself and be honest with your answers. If you had something to do with your loss, be honest and responsible for it.

No. 2: Resilience is independent. As a resilient person, you can count on yourself to bounce back into life.

No. 3: Although resilience is independent, it’s also tied to others. The more people you are responsible to, the greater your motivation to begin again. The stronger the reason, the stronger the action.

No. 4: Resilience calls for initiative. You need to develop the ability to take charge of the situation, to take charge of the problem. You need to stand up and do whatever is necessary to get back on course.

No. 5: Resilience has an element of creativity. With resilience, you are able to look at a situation and creatively determine the best way out. You are enterprising in your approach toward starting over.

No. 6: A resilient person has humor. You may cry until you start laughing, but a sense of humor is so important when turning your life around. You’ve got to take your goals seriously, and you’ve got to take yourself seriously. But you’ve also got to be able to laugh at yourself and your situation at times. If somebody says, “You’ll look back on this and laugh someday.” Well, maybe today is the day to start.

No. 7: A resilient person has a strong sense of morality. Whatever you do to get back on your feet, whatever you do to bounce back into life, make sure it’s moral. Make sure that your upcoming success is at the service of others, not at the expense of others. Success, if it is yours to keep, must be at the service of others.

The more obstacles you face and overcome, the more times you falter and get back on track, and the more difficulties you struggle with and conquer, the more resiliency you will naturally develop. There is nothing that can hold you back if you are resilient.

--by Jim Rohn

MODELING BEHAVIOR

2009-12-24T18:54:00.000-08:00

“The ability to adapt is everything!”
--Denis Waitley

“You can’t think your way into acting positively, but you can act your way into thinking positively.”
--Nido Qubein

“Imitate until you emulate; match and surpass those who launched you. It’s the highest form of thankfulness.”
--Mark Victor Hansen

“Children have more need of models than of critics.”
--Carolyn Coats

Bouncing Back from Tough Times with Self-Encouragement, Part 2

2009-12-22T18:52:00.000-08:00

This is the second installment in a 3-part series of articles.

Where the Miracle Begins
Sometimes, defeat is the best beginning. Why? Well for one thing, if you’re at the very bottom, there’s only one way to go—up. But more important, if you’re flat on your back, mentally and financially, you’ll usually become sufficiently disgusted to reach way deep down inside yourself and pull out miracles. Pull out talents and pull out abilities and pull out your desires and determination. When you’re flat broke or flat miserable, you’ll eventually become so disgusted that you’ll pull out the basic essentials required to make everything better.

It’s in the face of adversity that things begin to change, that you begin to change. With enough disgust, desire and determination to change your life, you’ll start saying, “I’ve had it. Enough of this. No more. Never again!”

Here’s where the miracle begins. “I’ve had it. Enough. No more. Never again.” These words and these thoughts really rattle the power of time and fate and circumstances. And these three things, time and fate and circumstances, all get together and say, “Okay. Okay. We can see that we have no power here; we’re facing some major resolve! This guy’s not going to give up. He’s had it. He’s done with all this nonsense. We’d better step aside and let this guy get by!” Inspiration through disgust.

A lot of people don’t change themselves. They wait for change. These poor unfortunate folks accept their defeats and wallow in their self-pity. Why? Because they refuse to take control of the situation. They refuse to take control of their life, their career, their health, their relationships, their finances. They refuse to take responsibility and get sufficiently disgusted to change it.

If you are disgusted, if you are in need of some change, if this book finds you in the middle of your own personal slump, then I have some words to offer. Your present failure is a temporary condition. It is only a temporary condition. You will rebound from failure, just as surely as you gravitated into failure.

One time, when I was in the midst of a bout of failure, somebody suggested that I should tell myself, “This too shall pass.” I firmly believe that you’re only given as much as you can handle, as much negativity, as much failure, as much disappointment. This too shall pass, if you grasp for a new beginning. You need to pull yourself up and move back into the world with a plan.

As foolish as it might sound, you should be thankful for your current limitations or failures. They are the building blocks from which to create greatness. You can go where you want to go. You can do what you want to do. You can become what you want to become. You can do it all, starting now, right where you are.

A father talks about his daughter. She’s gone through some pretty tough times, and as he tells it, she’s a pretty tough person. He has a unique way of describing his daughter’s situation, though. While most parents would be frantic, even for their kids who are grown and gone, this man just smiles and says that his daughter is like a frog in a jar of cream: She keeps kicking and kicking and kicking, and pretty soon the milk will turn into a lump of butter and she’ll be able to jump out. That’s an interesting illustration of tenacity, because that’s how it really works. You’ve got to keep trying and trying and trying. You’ve got to have enough resolve to do it until.

Some of the most inspiring success stories have started with failure. Longfellow started in failure. Michelangelo started in failure. Lincoln started in failure. Rod Serling wrote 40 stories before he had one that was accepted. Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper that felt he had no talent. Richard Byrd crashed his plane on his first solo trip before he became one of the world’s greatest explorers. And the success stories continue.

Be grateful for your adversity. At the same time, make sure that it’s working for your future, not against you. Make your failures give birth to great opportunity, not prolonged agony. Make your disgust lead to inspiration, not depression. The world will willingly sit by and let you wallow in your sorrows… until you die broke and alone. And here’s what else the world will do. The world will step aside and let you by, once you decide that your present situation is only temporary. The doors will open once you decide to get back on your feet and make your mark.

You have to care. In your own enlightened self-interest, give a run at adventure. Keep your eyes firmly set on achievement. Don’t settle for mere existence and self-pity. Make a commitment to excellence. And remember, it is your challenge, your own personal challenge, to use all your gifts and skills and talents and knowledge to survive and succeed.

--by Jim Rohn

MIRACLES

2009-12-20T18:50:00.000-08:00

“The only way to live is to accept each minute as an unrepeatable miracle, which is exactly what it is — a miracle and unrepeatable.”
--Margaret Storm Jameson

“The next time it begins to rain… lie down on your belly, nestle your chin into the grass, and get a frog’s-eye view of how raindrops fall…. The sight of hundreds of blades of grass bowing down and popping back up like piano keys strikes me as one of the merriest sights in the world.”
--Malcolm Margolin

“The world is full of poetry. The air is living with its spirit; and the waves dance to the music of its melodies, and sparkle in its brightness.”
--Percival

“Ingenuity, plus courage, plus work, equals miracles.”
--Bob Richards

Bouncing Back from Tough Times with Self-Encouragement Part 1

2009-12-18T18:48:00.000-08:00

This is the first in a 3-part series of articles.

Here is a familiar scenario for all of us; you may even be going through something like this right now: You have an exciting goal in mind, you’ve done your homework, you think you’re amply prepared… but things just don’t work out. You’ve probably had times when you thought you were doing what you were supposed to do, but you were misinformed. You thought you had it all laid out, but it just didn’t work. You burned the midnight oil day after day after day, but it didn’t seem to help. You couldn’t seem to change the end result.

These are the times when you have to be your own best cheerleader. And there are two ways to keep yourself encouraged.

Number one: Take responsibility for the missed opportunity or the misrepresentation. Learn from the fact that even though you made the best presentation possible, your client wanted it a different way. Be prepared for the letdowns that happen every so often. Know that this lost opportunity just set you up to take advantage of the next one. Realize that you can make the necessary alterations next time. Make the changes that will make the difference. Study your mistakes and learn from them. Instead of dwelling on the mistakes, simply acknowledge them and learn from them. Remind yourself that you’re smarter than your bank account leads you to believe.

Encouragement practice number two: Remind yourself that you’re bound to get better. Don’t get down on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s the next opportunity that matters, not the last one. The last one matters only in that you must learn from your mistakes. But the next one gives you the opportunity to show that you have learned from your mistakes. You can do it better next time. You just have to practice. Keep trying until. Until what? Until you’ve got it down.

If you figured out what went wrong last time, then you know how to make it right next time. If you figured out what it was in your presentation that didn’t work, don’t say that next time. If you figured out that the reason you didn’t close the deal this time was because you didn’t have all the facts and figures in place, have all the facts and figures in place next time. Don’t beat yourself up for messing up. Pat yourself on the back for figuring it out.

You need to encourage yourself. You need to pump yourself up. You need to be your own cheerleader. Why? Because you can’t wait and hope that someone else will come along and cheer you up… make you feel better… tell you that you’ll do better next time. You have to rely on yourself. You have to have faith in yourself and your ability to figure out what works and what doesn’t. You have to have the inner belief that everything you’re doing, you’re doing for a positive outcome in the future. You have to encourage yourself with future successes.

When you miss an opportunity, are unprepared for an opportunity, or suffer a setback while realizing your goals, you need to encourage yourself by immediately getting back into line.

There’s an old cowboy saying, “Fall off a horse seven times and you’re a real cowboy.” If you fall off a horse, get right back on. If you fall off track, get right back on. If you fall away from your disciplines, get right back to them. If you fall out of habit, get back into the habit. Something goes wrong, do what you can to make it right.

If you fall off… get back on. If you fall off the horse, that is, the horse of habits or disciplines or progress, get back on. It may be hard. It may be a bit frightening. But get back on. Keep your resolve alive and active and well. Cheer yourself on to victory. You can do it.

--by Jim Rohn

OPPORTUNITIES

2009-12-16T18:47:00.000-08:00

“There is no security in life, only opportunity.”
--Denis Waitley

“Pa, he always said a man had to look spry for himself, because nobody else would do it for him; your opportunities didn’t come knocking around, you had to hunt them up and hog-tie them.”
--Louis L’Amour

“Effective people are not problem-minded; they’re opportunity-minded. They feed opportunities and starve problems.”
--Stephen Covey

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.”
--Milton Berle

Three Keys to Greatness

2009-12-14T18:46:00.000-08:00

Some years ago I went into the studio and recorded a 56-minute video for teenagers called Three Keys to Greatness. Although my focus was for teenagers, the principles I shared certainly apply to adults as well.

Recently I was asked to list these three things using one to two sentences for each. Now for your benefit here they are again.

1) Setting Goals. I call it the view of the future. Most people, including kids, will pay the price if they can see the promise of the future. So we need to help our kids see a well-defined future, so they will be motivated to pay the price today to attain the rewards of tomorrow. Goals help them do this.

2) Personal Development. Simply making consistent investments in our self-education and knowledge banks pays major dividends throughout our lives. I suggest having a minimum amount of time set aside for reading books, listening to audiocassettes, attending seminars, keeping a journal and spending time with other successful people. Charlie “Tremendous” Jones says you will be in five years the sum total of the books you read and the people you are around.

3) Financial Planning. I call it the 70/30 plan. After receiving your paycheck or paying yourself, simply setting aside 10 percent for saving, 10 percent for investing and 10 percent for giving, and over time this will guarantee financial independence for a teenager.

If a young person, or for that matter an adult, focused on doing these three simple things over a long period of time I believe they will be assured success!

--by Jim Rohn

Your Brain Is the Greatest Computer Ever Created

2009-12-12T18:43:00.000-08:00

Have you ever walked into a room and couldn’t remember what you went there for? Have you ever grasped the hand of a potential client and then when the handshake broke, the name seemed to disappear from your memory? Or have you ever left a prospect and as you drove away remembered a key point that you should have shared with them?

Of course you have... we all have. However, I have some great news for you. Your memory is nowhere near as bad as you may think it is. Some time ago, I was a guest at a radio station in Waco. The disc jockey wrote a 50-digit number on a sheet of paper and told his listening audience and then played a three-minute song.

As the listeners enjoyed the song I memorized the 50-digit number. When the song was over we went back live on the air and I handed him the paper. I then proceeded to recite the number forward and then I said it backward. The disc jockey looked at me in utter disbelief, and stunned, he said, “Ron... you are incredible!” I looked him straight in the eye and replied, “You know... you are right!” I said, “Jay, the greatest computer ever created does not come from Dell or Gateway. The greatest computer ever created does not sit on the assembly line of a computer factory. Instead, you and I are the greatest computers ever created. And yes... you are right. I am incredible... but so are you.”

The human memory has the ability to hear a 100-digit number or more once and then repeat it forward and backward. It has the ability to memorize a Shakespearean play word for word or memorize the stats of every baseball player for the last 100 years. And the human memory has the capability to meet 100 people in 20 minutes and recall every single name!

Now, the question is, are you doing these things? If not, the reason is simply that you have not been trained to. Two thousand years ago a Greek named Simonedes developed a memory method called loci. With this method, Simonedes numbered locations in his home. He started in the doorway and then logically proceeded around his home. He reviewed these items so many times mentally that if you asked him what was number 25, he could instantly tell you what piece of furniture that number corresponded to.

These 25 objects were actually mental files for Simonedes. Then, if he had a list of items he wanted to recall, he would place them mentally on these objects in his home. Let’s say that you are a professional who wants to give a speech without notes. Simply turn the key points into pictures and then file them to your “house files.” When you are called upon to speak, simply mentally walk through the house and give your talk without notes.

For example, I gave a one-hour keynote in Atlanta at a homebuilder’s conference. I wrote my speech out the night before. The first thing I wanted to do was talk about the book How to Win Friends and Influence People. So I visualized the book on my front door and then mentally walked through my house and gave the one-hour talk without notes! That can work for you as well. Anything that you want to recall, simply turn it into a picture, place it on your house files and get ready to be amazed! YOU are the greatest computer ever created!

--by Ron White

NETWORKING

2009-12-10T18:45:00.000-08:00

“Discover twenty key people with whom you resonate favorably and can do vast amounts of business.”
--Mark Victor Hansen

“Networking is simply the cultivating of mutually beneficial, give and take, win-win relationships. It works best, however, when emphasizing the ‘give’ part.”
--Bob Burg

“It’s not who you know. It’s how well you maintain your Rolodex®.”
--Patricia Fripp

“Network continually—85 percent of all jobs are filled through contacts and personal references.”
--Brian Tracy

I'll See It When I Believe It!

2009-12-08T18:41:00.000-08:00

It has been estimated that we each have upwards of 50,000 thoughts per day. How many of yours are negative? Sometimes you have to do a mental spring-cleaning to get rid of those negative thoughts that have become ingrained attitudes. Stopping self-destructive thoughts is like stopping any other bad habit—it takes time and effort.

Among the most effective ways to do this are visualization and affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements about yourself that you repeat over and over in your head until they are programmed into your subconscious.

Visualization is mentally picturing yourself the way you want to be. You’ve heard the old saying, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” Well, the reverse is also true: “I’ll see it when I believe it!” Affirmations and visualizations may not feel true at first—they may not even be true! However, they can become so.

Consider what happens when you tell yourself repeatedly, “I’m lousy at remembering names.” There will never be any improvement there. Therefore, if you catch yourself saying it, stop and immediately say, “I’m good at remembering names.”

Consider the effect of telling yourself, “I’m feeling pretty good today.” “I can lose 10 pounds.” Or, “I am good at getting people to see things my way.” Anything you say to yourself repeatedly will actually influence your reality.

Writing down your affirmations and putting them in some handy place—above your desk, on your bathroom mirror, on the dashboard of your car—will help keep them in mind as well as in sight. Use affirmations and visualizations to project what success will feel and look like. Imagine, in as much detail as you possibly can, how you feel as the boss singles you out for exceeding your quota, or how the audience hangs on your every word during your speech, or how your confident presence causes heads to turn everywhere you go.

To enhance your charisma and persuasion (while making others feel good about themselves), you can apply the very same techniques by turning them outward. Begin thinking positive affirmations about people you work and live with.

For example, “Bob seems much calmer and patient of late. I wonder what has changed in him.” During your next interaction with Bob, you will most likely remember your positive thought about him and start your conversation with, “Bob, I’ve noticed a change in you. You seem really kind and patient while counseling your new employees recently and I admire that. How did you acquire this wonderful characteristic?”

Bob would likely respond with a smile and a story about a book he found, a consultant he hired or a seminar he attended. Regardless of his reply, you have sincerely complimented another person, put out a positive thought and begun a new habit of approaching others using “appreciative inquiry”—finding the good in another person or situation first, instead of finding fault or flaws.
Criticizing is easy, and sometimes becomes habit, but retraining your mind to find the positive attributes in yourself and others will win you friends, increase your income and make you feel better about being a better you.

--by Tony Alessandra

Books/Library/Reading

2009-12-06T18:39:00.000-08:00

Miss a meal if you have to, but don’t miss a book.

Some people claim that it is OK to read trashy novels because sometimes you can find something valuable in them. You can also find a crust of bread in a garbage can if you search long enough, but there is a better way.

Most homes valued at over $250,000 have a library. That should tell us something.

Everything you need for your better future and success has already been written. And guess what? It’s all available—all you have to do is go to the library. And there’s probably a library in every neighborhood.

Some people read so little that they have rickets of the mind.

I now have one of the better libraries. I admit that I haven’t read everything in my library, but I feel smarter just walking in it.

Don’t just read the easy stuff. You may entertained by it, but you will never grow from it.

The book you don’t read won’t help.

Books are easy to find and easy to buy. A paperback these days only costs $6 or $7. You can borrow that from your kids!

It isn’t what the book costs; it’s what it will cost if you don’t read it.

OVERCOMING THE NEGATIVE

2009-12-04T18:38:00.000-08:00

“All adverse and depressing influences can be overcome, not by fighting, but by rising above them.”
--Charles Caleb Colton

“If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears.”
--Glenn Clark

“If you want to get out of the pit, stop digging.”
--Ernesto Santos-DeJesus

“I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.”
--Hermann Hesse

A Chance Encounter

2009-12-02T17:23:00.000-08:00

“The only way things are going to change for you is when you change.”

“Crud!”

His hand hit the dashboard as he said it. “I can’t stand this car!”

That about sums up Michael Jones’ life—crud. And… he can’t stand it.

Forty years old, a wife of fifteen years he doesn’t know how to connect with, and two kids he barely knows. Add to that a boring job that doesn’t challenge him and hardly pays the bills. In a word: crud.

Where had his life gone? Out of college, he and his wife, Amy, had been so filled with dreams. Their lives were ahead of them and nothing seemed impossible. They were full of potential and wanted to do so much. But now they were nowhere near where they had hoped to be.

Michael loved Amy, but it just wasn’t what it could be. They had grown apart through the years, and he had no idea how to fix it. The kids are great, but again, there was just no connection with them like he thought “normal” families should have.

And his job... definitely not what he wanted. A man his age making $40,000 a year with no upside? This was hardly what he had imagined for his life. It was what it was, and it seemed like he was stuck—stuck with a dead-end job and poor relationships. This wasn’t the success and happiness he and Amy had planned for.

But his life was about to change...

This car is the worst, he thought as it convulsed and finally died. Going about 30 miles an hour when it stopped running, he guided it as it coasted to a stop along the road.

He was on his way to a sales call and he had never taken this road before. It was a long, winding road that acted as a shortcut between two major roads. Not many houses on this road, he observed.

After the car rolled to a stop, Michael got out and walked around the car. It wasn’t as though he would be able to tell what was wrong from walking around; he knew zero about cars. He knew how to put gas in it, turn the key over, and that was about it. No smoke, he thought, and that had to be good.

He popped the hood and looked at the engine. All the wires seemed connected. All the caps were on. He didn’t have any idea what to do.

I should have taken shop class in high school, he thought.

Michael reached inside his jacket for his cell phone. He figured he would call a mechanic friend he knew and see if he could get some help. He flipped the phone open and saw the worst—no cell coverage there!

“Just my luck,” he said out loud. “They can put a man on the moon and clone a sheep, but they can’t put a cell site up where I need it.”

He looked around, trying to decide which way to start walking. Up ahead about 200 feet was a bend in the road, and he couldn’t see what was farther on, so he decided to go that way, just hoping there might be a house beyond the bend.

As he walked, he kicked the gravel along the road.

Frustrated, alone, and stuck. That’s how he felt right now. About this situation and life in general.
As he turned the corner, Michael came across something he had never seen in real life before. Sure, he had seen many in magazines and on TV, but never something like this with his own eyes.

Nice pad. Michael found himself standing in front of the most beautiful home he had ever seen. Home may not even be the right word for it. Right at the roadside was a huge gated entrance. The large brick and wrought-iron fence stretched at least 500 feet along the roadside. And the gate was at least ten feet high. Behind the gate was a house that had to be over 10,000 square feet. It was a white plantation style that had twelve two-story pillars across the front—which made sense since the sign at the side of the gate said, “Twelve Pillars.” It was magnificent. Michael stood in front of the gate for a few minutes, just looking in awe at the structure.

Finally, he snapped back to reality and realized that he had to get his car fixed. He didn’t see any other houses nearby, but he didn’t know how to get to the house in front of him either.

Just then, he saw an old man in white overalls emerge from what looked like a workshop just to the right of the driveway. The old man walked toward the gate.

When he got about twenty-five feet from the gate the old man spoke, “Can I help you, young man?”

--by Jim Rohn

OVERCOMING OBSTACLES

2009-11-30T17:22:00.000-08:00

“People who consider themselves victims of their circumstances will always remain victims unless they develop a greater vision for their lives.”
--Stedman Graham

“Don’t be disquieted in time of adversity. Be firm with dignity and self-reliant with vigor.” --Chiang Kai-Shek

“The one resolution, which was in my mind long before it took the form of a resolution, is the keynote of my life. It is this, always to regard as mere impertinences of fate the handicaps which were placed upon my life almost at the beginning. I resolved that they should not crush or dwarf my soul, but rather be made to blossom, like Aaron’s rod, with flowers.”
--Helen Keller

“The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.” --Aristotle

Being Honest With Yourself

2009-11-28T17:17:00.000-08:00

Lying to yourself is one of the worst lies we can tell. First, when we lie to ourselves it affects our attitude and our ability to communicate with others. Second, acting like ourselves is more powerful than trying to act like someone else. That’s why honesty is more effective than mirroring personality profiling or other strategies that seek to forge a false bond with clients.

The top 10 percent of salespeople know how to steer clear of dangerous assumptions and lies that the mediocre tell themselves in business. 90% of sales people fall prey to dangerous lies that keep them from succeeding. That’s why I’ve itemized the 4 most lethal lies I’ve witnessed salespeople telling themselves. Some items on the list may seem obvious to you. And that makes them worse.

Treating Prospecting as Something You’ll Outgrow Eventually

After hitting their targets again and again, some find it tempting to start looking at prospecting as something they don’t need to do anymore. Incredibly, sales trainers often hear stories about seasoned salespeople who say they’re too experienced to prospect… or that cold calling is beneath them. That’s crazy! Prospecting is the lifeblood of a successful sales strategy. It’s how you constantly cultivate new business opportunities and grow your client base. Without including this as a fundamental component of your regular business habits, you could be putting your career at serious risk. Everyone needs to prospect… no matter how successful they are. To be effective at prospecting, you need to have more than a system for attracting qualified buyers. You also need a sales funnel that’s three times larger than what you need in sales. Stuck for ideas on where to find prospects? Check out Chapter 4: Exhibit 4.1 for 16 ideas that will keep your funnel full all year long from Honesty Sells (Visit www.HonestySells.com to get your copy)

Believing in the Adage “Nothing Personal… It’s Just Business”

Big mistake. Successful sales professionals will tell you that in business, everything is personal and further we believe that if you are serious about your career you should take it personally! People buy from people they like and trust. And that’s personal! It’s true. In essence, when a client chooses one salesperson over another, what they’re really saying is that—other things being equal—they like one better than the other. Great sales records are built on likeability and trust. Likeability is personal. Establishing and maintaining great personal rapport is how you build trust between yourself and your clients.

Treating Any Prospect as if It’s a Sure Thing

Remember Benjamin Franklin’s sage advice—nothing is certain in this world other than death and taxes. In sales, no matter how great a particular prospect may look to you, things can change in a hurry. Even after a contract is signed, a sale can still fall through. I once saw more than $60,000 vanish into thin air in Plano when a tornado blew through the Texas headquarters of my prospect… while the contract was still being finalized by the legal team. In sales, the most volatile time is the time between when you receive a verbal go-ahead from a prospect and when the contract is received. That’s when anything can happen. So count your deals only as 100 percent in your pipeline once you have a signed contract and a purchase order.

As a buyer, my husband Chris and I have had two real estate contracts fall through in the last year after they were signed, but before the closing dates. It’s never over until the money is received.

Believing “My Success Is Unrelated to My Attitude”

Tennis pro Chris Evert was once quoted as saying:

“The thing that separates good players from great players is mental attitude. It might only make a difference of two or three points over an entire match, but how you play those key points often makes the difference between winning and losing. If the mind is strong, you can do anything you want.”
Colleen’s father, Ted Francis (a now retired but career sales professional), is noted as saying:
“Suck it up! It’s all in your head!”
Both are true.

Ensuring an honest relationship with your client means starting with yourself and your own attitude.

All top-ranked salespeople share this point of view. If you ask them—as we have, repeatedly—what they do that makes them so successful, they’ll answer: “It’s my attitude!” Successful salespeople love what they do. They love the companies they work for, the products and services they sell, and the clients they serve. They also take personal responsibility for ensuring that all of these points remain true. By our measure, they live by four simple rules for being honest with themselves:

Nobody Can Choose Your Attitude for You

If you’re waiting for someone else to come along and motivate you, you will wait forever. Never let others take control of your thoughts. Only you can develop a better attitude for yourself. In trying times, the only way to improve your circumstances is by adopting a positive outlook. No matter what extraordinary sales techniques you learn during your career, these will fail you if you don't believe in yourself, your products, and your market.

The People Around You Are a Direct Mirror of Your Attitude

Attitude is contagious. It’s amazing how individuals who consistently display a poor attitude are the same people who expect their family, coworkers, friends, or employees to remain upbeat. Remember: You become who you hang out with. Think of it as the law of human magnetism.

Maintaining a Good Attitude Is Easier than Regaining One that’s Lost

If you already have a good attitude, great! Do everything you can to maintain it. Read positive books and listen to motivational tapes. Stay away from the news first thing in the morning and get rid of people in your life who are bringing you down. Sure, it’s not always easy, but you will thank us for this advice when you are celebrating as the top sales rep in your company next year.

On the other hand, if you have difficulty expecting the best from yourself and others, don’t give up. Remember item number one on this list—only you can choose your attitude, so it’s up to you to change it.

To achieve your maximum potential, you must first be honest with yourself. Prove your integrity with your words and actions. Find time to prospect every day. Remember that all business is personal. Take it personally so you improve faster. Don’t treat any prospect as if it’s a sure thing. Nothing’s certain. And absolutely everyday work on your attitude. It absolutely affects your sales results.

OVERCOMING FEAR

2009-11-26T17:15:00.000-08:00

“Many of our fears are tissue-paper thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.”
--Brendan Francis [Behan]

“We must fight our fear to forge ahead and leave the safety of the ledge.”
--Rick Beneteau

“When boundaries are present, there is fear—when wholeness and unity is recognized, fear cannot exist.”
--James A. Ray

“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.”
--George Herman “Babe” Ruth

No Excuses

2009-11-24T17:14:00.000-08:00

Don’t you just hate it when people make excuses for their failures? So do I. But do you know what I hate even more? Finding myself making excuses for my failures! I have a policy that I try to live by: No excuses.

Here are some thoughts on a “No Excuses” policy.

People will respect you. When you say that there are no excuses, that you blew it, and that you take full responsibility to make the situation right, people will be astounded (since very few people make no excuses) and they will come to a greater respect for you.

You will find yourself taking greater responsibility. When you know that your policy is to have no excuses, there will be less room for error because you will be doing everything that you can to make sure the job gets done!

You will become the go-to person. When someone wants something done, they will turn to you because they know that they can count on you to perform. And they know they won’t get any excuses! This will improve your level of success, and that is exactly what you are aiming for, right?

Practice up: “You’re right. There is no excuse for that. I will fix it immediately.” Refreshing!

--by Chris Widener

I'll See It When I Believe It!

2009-11-10T15:57:00.000-08:00

It has been estimated that we each have upwards of 50,000 thoughts per day. How many of yours are negative? Sometimes you have to do a mental spring-cleaning to get rid of those negative thoughts that have become ingrained attitudes. Stopping self-destructive thoughts is like stopping any other bad habit—it takes time and effort.

Among the most effective ways to do this are visualization and affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements about yourself that you repeat over and over in your head until they are programmed into your subconscious.

Visualization is mentally picturing yourself the way you want to be. You’ve heard the old saying, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” Well, the reverse is also true: “I’ll see it when I believe it!” Affirmations and visualizations may not feel true at first—they may not even be true! However, they can become so.

Consider what happens when you tell yourself repeatedly, “I’m lousy at remembering names.” There will never be any improvement there. Therefore, if you catch yourself saying it, stop and immediately say, “I’m good at remembering names.”

Consider the effect of telling yourself, “I’m feeling pretty good today.” “I can lose 10 pounds.” Or, “I am good at getting people to see things my way.” Anything you say to yourself repeatedly will actually influence your reality.

Writing down your affirmations and putting them in some handy place—above your desk, on your bathroom mirror, on the dashboard of your car—will help keep them in mind as well as in sight. Use affirmations and visualizations to project what success will feel and look like. Imagine, in as much detail as you possibly can, how you feel as the boss singles you out for exceeding your quota, or how the audience hangs on your every word during your speech, or how your confident presence causes heads to turn everywhere you go.

To enhance your charisma and persuasion (while making others feel good about themselves), you can apply the very same techniques by turning them outward. Begin thinking positive affirmations about people you work and live with.

For example, “Bob seems much calmer and patient of late. I wonder what has changed in him.” During your next interaction with Bob, you will most likely remember your positive thought about him and start your conversation with, “Bob, I’ve noticed a change in you. You seem really kind and patient while counseling your new employees recently and I admire that. How did you acquire this wonderful characteristic?”

Bob would likely respond with a smile and a story about a book he found, a consultant he hired or a seminar he attended. Regardless of his reply, you have sincerely complimented another person, put out a positive thought and begun a new habit of approaching others using “appreciative inquiry”—finding the good in another person or situation first, instead of finding fault or flaws.

Criticizing is easy, and sometimes becomes habit, but retraining your mind to find the positive attributes in yourself and others will win you friends, increase your income and make you feel better about being a better you.

--by Tony Alessandra

Books/Library/Reading

2009-11-08T15:53:00.000-08:00

OVERCOMING THE NEGATIVE

2009-11-06T15:52:00.000-08:00

“All adverse and depressing influences can be overcome, not by fighting, but by rising above them.”
—Charles Caleb Colton

“If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears.”
—Glenn Clark

“If you want to get out of the pit, stop digging.”
—Ernesto Santos-DeJesus

“I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.”
—Hermann Hesse

The Ultimate Sales Tip

2009-11-04T15:49:00.000-08:00

I was sitting in the gate area waiting to board a flight to Chicago, reading a chapter from "127 More Secrets Of Direct Mail."

Then it happened.

I got to number 123.

It grabbed me by the lapels of my sports jacket.

It really throttled me.

It caught me by surprise.

It wasn't an entirely new concept for me.

It was the words. It was the language. It was exceptional because of its brevity.

Simply brilliant!

These words will surely linger for a long time, like a burning ember.

Look, if you're an entrepreneur or a professional sales person you might want to type these words on a 3 x 5 card and get it laminated. You do not want to forget this sales tip or these powerful words.

The plane's pulling back from the gate and we're now headed to Chicago, and I'm writing this feverishly, so I can capture the essence and the power of what I just read.

It's so simple--why didn't I think of stringing these three words together?

Here's the secret # 123.

"Don't sell. SOLVE!"

Let me repeat this for you, "Don't sell. SOLVE.

So you might be wondering what's involved in the SOLVING PROCESS?

Don't talk and tell, ask questions and listen.

It's that simple.

Based on my observations most salespeople do not ask quality sales questions.

It's been said, you can tell the quality of your sales questions by the quality of the responses
you get.

This is the ultimate sales tip and you don't ever want to forget it.

"Don't sell.SOLVE."

--by Jim Meisenheimer

OVERCOMING OBSTACLES

2009-11-02T15:47:00.000-08:00

“People who consider themselves victims of their circumstances will always remain victims unless they develop a greater vision for their lives.”
—Stedman Graham

“Don’t be disquieted in time of adversity. Be firm with dignity and self-reliant with vigor.”
—Chiang Kai-Shek

“The one resolution, which was in my mind long before it took the form of a resolution, is the keynote of my life. It is this, always to regard as mere impertinences of fate the handicaps which were placed upon my life almost at the beginning. I resolved that they should not crush or dwarf my soul, but rather be made to blossom, like Aaron’s rod, with flowers.”
—Helen Keller

“The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.”
—Aristotle

A Chance Encounter

2009-10-31T15:43:00.000-07:00

“The only way things are going to change for you is when you change.”

“Crud!”

His hand hit the dashboard as he said it. “I can’t stand this car!”

That about sums up Michael Jones’ life—crud. And… he can’t stand it.

Forty years old, a wife of fifteen years he doesn’t know how to connect with, and two kids he barely knows. Add to that a boring job that doesn’t challenge him and hardly pays the bills. In a word: crud.

Where had his life gone? Out of college, he and his wife, Amy, had been so filled with dreams. Their lives were ahead of them and nothing seemed impossible. They were full of potential and wanted to do so much. But now they were nowhere near where they had hoped to be.

Michael loved Amy, but it just wasn’t what it could be. They had grown apart through the years, and he had no idea how to fix it. The kids are great, but again, there was just no connection with them like he thought “normal” families should have.

And his job... definitely not what he wanted. A man his age making $40,000 a year with no upside? This was hardly what he had imagined for his life. It was what it was, and it seemed like he was stuck—stuck with a dead-end job and poor relationships. This wasn’t the success and happiness he and Amy had planned for.

But his life was about to change...

This car is the worst, he thought as it convulsed and finally died. Going about 30 miles an hour when it stopped running, he guided it as it coasted to a stop along the road.

He was on his way to a sales call and he had never taken this road before. It was a long, winding road that acted as a shortcut between two major roads. Not many houses on this road, he observed.

After the car rolled to a stop, Michael got out and walked around the car. It wasn’t as though he would be able to tell what was wrong from walking around; he knew zero about cars. He knew how to put gas in it, turn the key over, and that was about it. No smoke, he thought, and that had to be good.

He popped the hood and looked at the engine. All the wires seemed connected. All the caps were on. He didn’t have any idea what to do.

I should have taken shop class in high school, he thought.
Michael reached inside his jacket for his cell phone. He figured he would call a mechanic friend he knew and see if he could get some help. He flipped the phone open and saw the worst—no cell coverage there!

“Just my luck,” he said out loud. “They can put a man on the moon and clone a sheep, but they can’t put a cell site up where I need it.”

He looked around, trying to decide which way to start walking. Up ahead about 200 feet was a bend in the road, and he couldn’t see what was farther on, so he decided to go that way, just hoping there might be a house beyond the bend.

As he walked, he kicked the gravel along the road.

Frustrated, alone, and stuck. That’s how he felt right now. About this situation and life in general.

As he turned the corner, Michael came across something he had never seen in real life before. Sure, he had seen many in magazines and on TV, but never something like this with his own eyes.

Nice pad. Michael found himself standing in front of the most beautiful home he had ever seen. Home may not even be the right word for it. Right at the roadside was a huge gated entrance. The large brick and wrought-iron fence stretched at least 500 feet along the roadside. And the gate was at least ten feet high. Behind the gate was a house that had to be over 10,000 square feet. It was a white plantation style that had twelve two-story pillars across the front—which made sense since the sign at the side of the gate said, “Twelve Pillars.” It was magnificent. Michael stood in front of the gate for a few minutes, just looking in awe at the structure.

Finally, he snapped back to reality and realized that he had to get his car fixed. He didn’t see any other houses nearby, but he didn’t know how to get to the house in front of him either.

Just then, he saw an old man in white overalls emerge from what looked like a workshop just to the right of the driveway. The old man walked toward the gate.

When he got about twenty-five feet from the gate the old man spoke, “Can I help you, young man?”

-- by Jim Rohn

OVERCOMING FEAR

2009-10-29T15:39:00.000-07:00

“Many of our fears are tissue-paper thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.”
—Brendan Francis [Behan]

“We must fight our fear to forge ahead and leave the safety of the ledge.” —Rick Beneteau
“When boundaries are present, there is fear—when wholeness and unity is recognized, fear cannot exist.”
—James A. Ray

"Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.”
—George Herman “Babe” Ruth

No Excuses

2009-10-27T15:37:00.000-07:00

The First Step for Getting Better Results

2009-10-25T18:50:00.000-07:00

How dramatically we can change our results is largely a function of imagination. In 1960, it was a technological impossibility for man to travel into outer space. Within 10 years, however, the first man stepped out onto the surface of the moon. The miraculous process of converting the dream into reality began when one voice challenged the scientific community to do whatever was necessary to see to it that America "places a man on the moon by the end of this decade." That challenge awakened the spirit of a nation by planting the seed of possible future achievement into the fertile soil of imagination. With that one bold challenge, the impossible became a reality.

—The same principle applies to every other area of your life!—

Can a poor person become wealthy? Of course! The unique combination of desire, planning, effort and perseverance will always work its magic. The question is not whether the formula for success will work, but rather whether the person will work the formula. That is the unknown variable. That is the challenge that confronts us all. We can all go from wherever we are to wherever we want to be. No dream is impossible, provided we first have the courage to believe in it.

--by Jim Rohn

HEALTH

2009-10-22T18:48:00.000-07:00

"Good friends are good for your health."
-- Irwin Sarason

"It is not work that kills men; it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more upon a man than he can bear. Worry is rust upon the blade. It is not the revolution that destroys the machinery, but the friction. Fear secrets acids; but love and trust are sweet juices."
-- Henry Ward Beecher

"We cannot seek or attain health, wealth, learning, justice or kindness in general. Action is always specific concrete, individualized unique."
-- Benjamin Jowett

"It may be possible to incorporate laughter into daily activities, just as is done with other heart-healthy activities, such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator. The recommendation for a healthy heart may one day be exercise, eat right and laugh a few times a day."
-- Michael Miller

Millionaires Have More

2009-10-19T18:45:00.000-07:00

Millionaires have more in common with each other than just their bank accounts - for some millionaires, striking it rich took courage, salesmanship, vision and passion. Find out which traits are most common to the seven-figure bank account set, and what you can do to hone some of these skills in your own life.

1. Independent Thinking

Millionaires think differently. Not just about money, about everything. The time and energy everybody else spends attempting to conform, millionaires spend creating their own path. Since thoughts impact actions, people who want to be wealthy should think in a way that will get them to that goal. Independent thinking doesn't mean doing the opposite of what the rest of the world is doing; it means having the courage to follow what is important to you. So, the lesson here is to forge your own way, and let your success drive you to financial spoils - rather than doing it the other way around and trying to chase the money.

Just look at David Geffen. A self-made millionaire with $4.5 billion to his name in 2009, this American record executive and film producer was college dropout, but made millions founding record agencies and signed some of the most prominent musicians of the 1970s and '80s. Although he didn't take what many assume to be the usual path to success, his tireless work ethic and sense of personal conviction about artists' potential allowed him to rack up a sizable fortune.

2. Vision

Millionaires are creative visionaries with a positive attitude. In other words, wealthy people not only have big dreams, they also believe they will come true. As such, wealth seekers should set lofty goals and not be afraid of uncharted territories.

Bill Gates, the world's richest person in 2009, did just that. The American chairman of Microsoft is one of the founding entrepreneurs who brought personal computers to the masses. Gates jumped into the personal computers business in 1975 and held on tight, creating Microsoft Windows in 1985. When consumers began to bring computers into their homes, Gates was ready to profit from this new age.

3. Skills

Writer Dennis Kimbro interviewed successful people to determine the traits they had in common for his book, "Think and Grow Rich" (1992). He found that they concentrated on their area of excellence. Millionaires also tend to partner with others to supplement their weaker skills. If you don't know what you are good at, poll friends and family. Use training and mentors to refine your strong skills.

4. Passion

Billionaire investing guru Warren Buffett says "Money is a by-product of something I like to do very much." Enjoying your work allows you to have the discipline to work hard at it every day. People who interact with money for a living, bankers for example, often love creating new deals and persuading others to complete a transaction. But finding your dream job may take time. The average millionaire doesn't find it until age 45, and tends to be 54 (on average) before becoming a millionaire. Kimbro found that millionaires tried an average of 17 ventures before they were successful. So, if you want to be rich, stop doing things you don't enjoy and do what you love. If you don't know what you love, try a few things and keep trying until you hit on the right thing.

5. Investment

Millionaires are willing to sacrifice time and money to achieve their goals. They are willing to take a risk now for the opportunity of achieving something greater in the future. Investing may include securities or starting a business - either way, it is a step toward achieving great financial rewards. Start investing now.

6. Salesmanship

Millionaires are constantly presenting their ideas and persuading others to buy into them. Good salesmen are oblivious to critics and naysayers. other words, they don't take "no" for an answer. Millionaires also have good social skills. In fact, when writer T. Harv Eker analyzed the results of a survey of 753 millionaires for his book, "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind" (2005), he found social skills were more important than IQ. Just look at Donald Trump. His fortune has fluctuated over the years, but his ability to sell himself - whether as a TV personality or as the force behind a line of neckties - has always brought him back among the ranks of celebrity millionaires.

The ability to communicate with people is essential to selling your idea. Contrary to the traditional view of salesmen, millionaires cite honesty as an important factor in their success. If you want to be a millionaire, be
an honest salesman and polish your social skills.

Becoming a millionaire is not a goal that can be achieved overnight for most people. In fact, many of the world's richest people built their wealth over many years (sometimes even generations) by making smart but often bold decisions, putting their skills to the best use possible and doggedly pursuing their vision. If you can learn anything about millionaires, it's that for many of them, their riches are not necessarily what most sets them apart from the rest of the world - it's what they did to earn those millions that really stands out.

HAPPINESS

2009-10-16T18:44:00.000-07:00

"A good laugh is sunshine in the house."
-- William Makepeace Thackeray

"Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it."
-- William Feather

"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts…take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature."
-- Marcus Aurelius

"Will and I could hardly wait for the morning to come to get at something that interested us. That's happiness."
-- Orville Wright

Winning the Thought Battle

2009-10-13T18:42:00.000-07:00

If you have read my articles or heard me speak, you know that I always come down to action. We need to act if we are going to be successful!

Yet, our success starts long before our actions. In fact, our success begins in our thoughts.

The process is that thoughts become actions and actions produce results. So the equation starts with the thoughts. So the key to success is to start with and control the thoughts that we have. Good thoughts become good actions become good results.

But there is this predicament we have as humans. It is this “battle” we have with our thoughts. Thoughts of depression, negative thoughts, thoughts of fear, etc., constantly creep into our minds and cause us to act in certain ways that are going to produce the antithesis of the kind we want that will produce success.

So what can we do to win the battle with thoughts? Here are a few main points. Apply these immediately and then constantly and you will be on your way to winning the thought battle.

Guard your mind. Pretend that behind that forehead of yours is a very precious thing – your mind – because it is precious. If you had a storehouse of gold in your house, you would hire an armed guard to stand watch and keep all the bad guys out. Yet, many of us let any old thing come into our minds.

We need to keep the bad thoughts, the negative thoughts, O-U-T! Now when I say this, I mean both the ones that start in our heads and the ones that come from external sources.

Proactively place good thoughts in your head. Just like a garden, where you weed, or pull the bad stuff out, and plant, put the good stuff in, so we do the same thing with our thoughts. Buy tapes and music that will produce good, happy thoughts in your head! Watch TV programs and videos that put good thoughts in your head!

Avoid the naysayers. They are all around you. You work with them, you live near them – some are even in your family! Whatever you do, do not let them affect you with their negative thoughts. Spend as little time as you can with them (unless it is your spouse or kids – then you need counseling!).

Act on the positive thoughts that you do have. When a positive thought comes into your head, act on it! This will begin to produce a “bridge” between what you think and how you act! This will then make that transition even easier as time goes by!

Four key ideas to win the thought battle:

- Guard your mind.
- Proactively place good thoughts in your head.
- Avoid the naysayers.
- Act on the positive thoughts that you do have.

Go forth and Win the Battle!

--by Chris Widener

HABITS

2009-10-11T18:39:00.000-07:00

"Habits are like comfortable beds; they are easy to get into, but difficult to get out of."
-- Denis Waitley

"Nothing needs reforming so much as other people's habits."
-- Mark Twain

"Good habits are as addictive as bad habits, and a lot more rewarding."
-- Harvey Mackay

"You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, 'I release the need for this in my life'."
-- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Success is Easy, But So Is Neglect

2009-10-08T18:37:00.000-07:00

People often ask me how I became successful in that six-year period of time while many of the people I knew did not. The answer is simple: The things I found to be easy to do, they found to be easy not to do. I found it easy to set the goals that could change my life. They found it easy not to. I found it easy to read the books that could affect my thinking and my ideas. They found that easy not to. I found it easy to attend the classes and the seminars, and to get around other successful people. They said it probably really wouldn't matter. If I had to sum it up, I would say what I found to be easy to do, they found to be easy not to do. Six years later, I'm a millionaire and they are all still blaming the economy, the government, and company policies, yet they neglected to do the basic, easy things.

In fact, the primary reason most people are not doing as well as they could and should, can be summed up in a single word: neglect.

It is not the lack of money - banks are full of money. It is not the lack of opportunity - America, and much of the free World, continues to offer the most unprecedented and abundant opportunities in the last six thousand years of recorded history. It is not the lack of books – libraries are full of books – and they are free! It is not the schools – the classrooms are full of good teachers. We have plenty of ministers, leaders, counselors and advisors.

Everything we would ever need to become rich and powerful and sophisticated is within our reach. The major reason that so few take advantage of all that we have is simply neglect.

Neglect is like an infection. Left unchecked it will spread throughout our entire system of disciplines and eventually lead to a complete breakdown of a potentially joy-filled and prosperous human life.

Not doing the things we know we should do causes us to feel guilty and guilt leads to an erosion of self-confidence. As our self-confidence diminishes, so does the level of our activity. And as our activity diminishes, our results inevitably decline. And as our results suffer, our attitude begins to weaken. And as our attitude begins the slow shift from positive to negative, our self-confidence diminishes even more... and on and on it goes.

So my suggestion is that when giving the choice of "easy to" and "easy not to" that you do not neglect to do the simple, basic, "easy"; but potentially life-changing activities and disciplines.

--by Jim Rohn

Nine Requisites For Contented Living

2009-10-05T18:32:00.000-07:00

1. Health Enough To Make Work A Pleasure.

2. Wealth Enough To Support Your Needs.

3. Strength To Battle With Difficulties And Overcome Them.

4. Grace Enough To Confess Your Sins And Forsake Them.

5. Patience Enough To Toil Until Some Good Is Accomplished.

6. Charity Enough To See Some Good In Your Neighbor.

7. Love Enough To Move You To Be Useful And Helpful To Others.

8. Faith Enough To Make Real The Things Of God.

9. Hope Enough To Remove All Anxious Fears Concerning The Future.

--by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Carpe Diem! Seize this Day!

2009-10-02T18:27:00.000-07:00

What each of us is doing this minute is the most important event in history for us. We have decided to invest our resources in this opportunity rather than in any other. It is helpful to remember this when we consider the passage of time.

As the years pass, I am acutely aware that the bird of time is on the wing. At my fiftieth high school reunion, I saw old people who claimed to be my former classmates. We all had big name tags printed in capital letters so we wouldn't have to squint with our reading glasses on trying to associate the name with each well-traveled face. It was only yesterday that I was really enjoying high school. What had happened to the five decades in between? Where had they flown?

To the side of the bandstand, where the big-band sound of the late 1940s and 50s blared our favorite top-ten hits, there was a poster with a printed verse for all of us to see. I read the words out loud:

"There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

“One of these days is Yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

“The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds; but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is as yet unborn. This leaves only one day: Today.

“Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities - Yesterday and Tomorrow - that we break down. It is not the experience of Today that drives us mad, it is remorse and bitterness for something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring. Let us, therefore, live this one full Today."

Malcolm Forbes believed the important thing is never to say die until you're dead, and he lived that example to the hilt. It is, as we realize when we suddenly attend our fiftieth high school reunion, a short journey. But it also is difficult to be depressed and active at the same time. So get active! And make today your best day ever!

--by Dr. Denis Waitley

HUMOR

2009-09-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

"The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for 5 seconds and think for ten minutes."
-- William Davis

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."
-- Bill Cosby

“No man who has once heartily and wholly laughed can be altogether irreclaimably bad.”
-- Thomas Carlyle

"The saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities--a sense of humor and a sense of proportion."
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Walking a New Road

2009-09-26T18:24:00.000-07:00

Here is a good question to ask yourself. Ten years from now you will surely arrive. The question is, where? We don't want to kid ourselves about where. We don't want to kid ourselves about the road we're walking.

At age 25, I had a day shortly after I met my mentor Mr. Shoaff called "do not kid myself anymore" day. I didn't want to be disillusioned anymore. Up until then, I had been using the crossed-finger theory. But after meeting Mr. Shoaff, I finally decided that the crossed-finger theory was not going to get me what I wanted. That it wasn't where the treasure lies. That I was going to have to make sure which way I was headed.

Then, with the help of Mr. Shoaff, I found with a few reading disciplines, and a few disciplines of mind, and a few disciplines of activity, that when exercised, can begin making all the difference in the world as to where you will arrive.

Just a few changes. Sometimes we get the idea that we're doing about 10% and there's about 90% more that we need in order to make the difference for our fortune, but probably the opposite is true. We're doing enough things to have bought and shared in the good life so far. And maybe all we need is that extra 5% or 10% of intellectual change. Activity change. A refinement of discipline. A refinement of thought. And all we need is the ideas to make those simple changes and the equity starts gathering in one year, three years, five years, 10 years.

I have a good comment for you: Now's the time to fix the next 10 years. Now, you may have to come to grips with reality and with truth; that's what was good for me when I met Mr. Shoaff. I was 25 years old, he was 44 years old. And he brought me a wealth of experience and he started asking me the tough questions. "Big question", he said, "Are you reading the books that are going to take you where you want to go in the next 5 years?"

Excellent question. See, you want to make sure. I would assume for all of you, to get to where you want to be in the next 5 years, you are either reading the right books or you're not. You're either engaged in the disciplines or you're not. But, here's what we don't want to engage in: disillusion. Hoping without acting. Wishing without doing.

The key is to take a look and say, "Where am I? What could I do to make the changes to make sure that I can take more certain daily steps toward the treasure I want, the mental treasure, the personal treasure, the spiritual treasure, the financial treasure? I don't want to make any more errors. Now's the time to adjust my daily program to take me where I want to go."

In lecturing for more than 40 years, I've gotten letters and personal testimonies of people that have done such remarkable things with just a few suggestions. And that is why seminars, tapes and books can be so valuable. Here's a key idea for us all to remember: We could all use a little coaching. When you're playing the game, it's sometimes hard to see it all.

But the key is to start right now making these changes to walk this new road. And here's what's exciting to me: just a few daily disciplines makes a great deal of difference in one year, three years, five years. And before you know it, you will be walking a brand new road.

--by Jim Rohn

HUMILITY

2009-09-23T18:22:00.000-07:00

"You can't brag that you're humble... and be humble."
-- Terry McEwen

"A great man is always willing to be little."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact."
-- George Eliot

"Humility is a virtue; timidity is a disease."
-- Jim Rohn

All You Want is Within Your Reach

2009-09-20T18:16:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing that I believe with all my heart it is that you can have any life you choose. You can live the life you have always dreamed of.

We live in a period of unparalleled opportunity in human history. Think about it: Just one hundred years ago, most people really only had five or six options when it came to deciding what they would do with their lives. For most, they didn't even have the knowledge that they could do anything other than take over their father's farm when they turned eighteen!

But today a person living in the western world (and many other areas of the world as well) can choose to do virtually anything they want to! The key is the word "choose."

You see, the world is within your reach. Any job you want can be yours if you decide. All of the opportunities are there for the taking. The question is whether or not you will take.

You say, "But Chris, you just don't understand. I'm 38 years old with two kids and I have bills to pay. I make $28,000 a year. I can't just go become a doctor and make big money!"

And I say, "Yes you can! If you decide to. If you will take action, you can become a doctor or anything else you want to. We live in a day and age when virtually anything is possible."

For the sake of highlighting this principle, let's look at the above example. How would this person change careers? Simple. Here is the process in specific action steps:

1. Find out from a medical school what classes you would need to take to get in. Chances are your college major would need some rounding out or if you didn't go to college, you would need to do so. Maximum time to do this: 3 days.
2. Now, go to school. Maximum time to do this: 4 years.
3. Now, medical school and residency. Maximum time to do this: 6 years.
4. Begin practicing medicine.

At this point you would be 48 years old. That leaves you 17 years to practice. Now, let's see the impact it has on your life:

1. You get to pursue your dream, making you and your family MUCH happier.
2. You will make, on average, $100,000 more per year. The difference here is manifold! If you stayed where you were, you would have earned $28,000 a year for 27 years and would earn $756,000. If you left and pursued your dream, you would earn $128,000 for 17 years (that's if you took 10 years to make the transition; most would be less.) and your earnings would be $2,176,000! This is a difference of $1,420,000! And this doesn't even take into consideration the amounts you would earn on investments with the difference in incomes.

So is it possible? Yes. Does it take time? Yes. Is it hard? Yes. Is it scary? Yes, and that is why most people won't do it.

It isn't for lack of opportunity. It is usually because of one of the following:
- Lack of vision
- Lack of tenacity
- Fear

The truth is that you can do anything you want to. Stop telling yourself excuses! Go to battle against a lack of vision! Pick yourself up and get tenacious! Look fear in the face and stand up to it! Your whole life depends on it, my friend!

The choice is yours. Will you continue to limp along in life because you don't have the courage to run for your dream? Will you continue to allow the fear of poverty keep you from pursuing the riches, both materially and emotionally, that lay within the vision you have of what your life could be?

You CAN live the life you have always dreamed of. All you want is within your reach. But to pick it up, you must first empty your hands of what they already hold. Then you must reach for it, take a hold of it, and possess it!

--by Chris Widener

HOPE

2009-09-17T18:11:00.000-07:00

"Great hopes make great men."
-- Thomas Fuller

"True hope is swift, and flies with swallow's wings."
-- William Shakespeare

"A comforting acquaintance, hope, a contagious thing like spring, inebriating like lager."
-- Sylvia Ashton-Warner

"Everything that is done in the world is done by hope."
-- Martin Luther

Six Behaviors that Increase Self-Esteem

2009-09-14T18:07:00.000-07:00

Following are six behaviors that increase self-esteem, enhance your self-confidence, and spur your motivation. You may recognize some of them as things you naturally do in your interactions with other people. But if you don't, I suggest you motivate yourself to take some of these important steps immediately.

1st - Greet others with a smile and look them directly in the eye. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence born of self-respect. In the same way, answer the phone pleasantly in the office and at home, and when placing a call, give your name before asking to speak to the party you want to reach. Leading with your name underscores that a person with self-respect is making the call.

2nd - Always show real appreciation for a gift or complement. Don't downplay or sidestep expressions of affection or honor from others. The ability to accept or receive is a universal mark of an individual with solid self-esteem.

3rd - Don't brag. It's almost a paradox that genuine modesty is actually part of the capacity to gracefully receive compliments. People who brag about their own exploits or demand special attention are simply trying to build themselves up in the eyes of others - and that's because they don't perceive themselves as already worthy of respect.

4th - don't make your problems the centerpiece of your conversation. Talk positively about your life and the progress you're trying to make. Be aware of any negative thinking, and take notice of how often you complain. When you hear yourself criticize someone - and this includes self-criticism - find a way to be helpful instead of critical.

5th - respond to difficult times or depressing moments by increasing your level of productive activity. When your self-esteem is being challenged, don't sit around and fall victim to "paralysis by analysis." The late Malcolm Forbes said, "Vehicles in motion use their generators to charge their own batteries. Unless you happen to be a golf cart, you can't recharge your battery when you're parked in the garage!"

6th - Choose to see mistakes and rejections as opportunities to learn. View a failure as the conclusion of one performance, not the end of your entire career. Own up to your shortcomings, but refuse to see yourself as a failure. A failure may be something you have done - and it may even be something you'll have to do again on the way to success - but a failure is definitely not something you are.

Even if you're at a point where you're feeling very negatively about yourself, be aware that you're now ideally positioned to make rapid and dramatic improvement. A negative self-evaluation, if it's honest and insightful, takes much more courage and character than the self-delusions that underlie arrogance and conceit. I've seen the truth of this proven many times in my work with athletes. After an extremely poor performance, a team or an individual athlete often does much better the next time out, especially when the poor performance was so bad that there was simply no way to shirk responsibility for it. Disappointment, defeat, and even apparent failure are in no way permanent conditions unless we choose to make them so. On the contrary, these undeniably painful experiences can be the solid foundation on which to build future success.

The Time to Act

2009-09-11T20:51:00.000-07:00

Engaging in genuine discipline requires that you develop the ability to take action. You don't need to be hasty if it isn't required, but you don't want to lose much time either. Here's the time to act: when the idea is hot and the emotion is strong.

Let's say you would like to build your library. If that is a strong desire for you, what you've got to do is get the first book. Then get the second book. Take action as soon as possible, before the feeling passes and before the idea dims. If you don't, here's what happens . . . .

YOU FALL PREY TO THE LAW OF DIMINISHING INTENT.

We intend to take action when the idea strikes us. We intend to do something when the emotion is high. But if we don't translate that intention into action fairly soon, the urgency starts to diminish. A month from now the passion is cold. A year from now it can't be found.

So take action. Set up a discipline when the emotions are high and the idea is strong, clear, and powerful. If somebody talks about good health and you're motivated by it, you need to get a book on nutrition. Get the book before the idea passes, before the emotion gets cold. Begin the process. Fall on the floor and do some push-ups. You've got to take action; otherwise the wisdom is wasted. The emotion soon passes unless you apply it to a disciplined activity. Discipline enables you to capture the emotion and the wisdom and translate them into action. The key is to increase your motivation by quickly setting up the disciplines. By doing so, you've started a whole new life process.

Here is the greatest value of discipline: self-worth, also known as self-esteem. Many people who are teaching self-esteem these days don't connect it to discipline. But once we sense the least lack of discipline within ourselves, it starts to erode our psyche. One of the greatest temptations is to just ease up a little bit. Instead of doing your best, you allow yourself to do just a little less than your best. Sure enough, you've started in the slightest way to decrease your sense of self-worth.

There is a problem with even a little bit of neglect. Neglect starts as an infection. If you don't take care of it, it becomes a disease. And one neglect leads to another. Worst of all, when neglect starts, it diminishes our self-worth.

Once this has happened, how can you regain your self-respect? All you have to do is act now! Start with the smallest discipline that corresponds to your own philosophy. Make the commitment: "I will discipline myself to achieve my goals so that in the years ahead I can celebrate my successes."

--by Jim Rohn

The Subtlety of Language

2009-09-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

I have found that sometimes the subtle difference in our attitude, which of course can make a major difference in our future, can be as simple as the language we use. The difference in even how you talk to yourself or others. Consciously making a decision to quit saying what you don't want and to start saying what you do want. I call that faith. Believing the best, hoping for the best and moving toward the best.

A few examples could be, instead of saying "What if somebody doesn't respond" you start saying, "What if they do respond?" Instead of saying "What if someone says no?" You say, "What if they say yes?" Instead of "What if they start and quit?" say, "What if they start and stay?" or "What if it doesn't work out?" You say, "What if it does work out?" and the list goes on and on.

I found that when you start thinking and saying what you really want then your mind automatically shifts and pulls you in that direction. And sometimes it can be that simple, just a little twist in vocabulary that illustrates your attitude and philosophy.

Our language can also affect how others perform and behave around us. A teenager says to a parent, "I need $10." And if the parents learn to say, "No comprende. That kind of language doesn't work here. We've got plenty of money, but that's not how you get $10." Then you teach your teenager how to ask, "How can I earn $10?"

That is the magic of words. There is plenty of money here. There is money for everybody, but you just have to learn the magic words to get them. For everything you could possibly want. If you just learn the philosophy. How could I earn $10? Because you can't go to the soil and say, "Give me a harvest." You know the soil smiles and says, "Who is this clown that brings me his need and brings me no seed." And if you said to the soil, "I've got this seed and if I planted it, would you work while I sleep?" And the soil says, "No problem. Give me the seed. Go to sleep and I'll be working while you're sleeping."

If you just understand these simple principles, teaching them to a teenager (or adult) is sometimes just a matter of language. It's like an investment account instead of a savings account. Simple language, but so important. It is easy to stumble through almost a lifetime and not learn some of these simplicities. Then you have to put up with all the lack and all the challenges that don't work out simply from not reading the book, not listening to the tape, not sitting in the class, not studying your language and not being willing to search so you can then find.

But here is the great news. You can start this process anytime. For me it was at age 25. At 25 I'm broke. Six years later I'm a millionaire. Somebody says, "What kind of revolution, what kind of change, what kind of thinking, what kind of magic had to happen? Was it you?" And I say, "No. Any person, any six years, 36 to 42, 50 to 56. Whatever six years; whatever few years you go on an intensive, accelerated personal development curve, learning curve, application curve, and learning the disciplines. Now, it might not take the same amount of time, but I'm telling you the same changes and the same rewards in some different fashion are available for those who pay that six year price. And you might find that whether it's in the beginning to help get you started, or in the middle to keep you on track, that your language can have a great impact on your attitude, actions and results.

--by Jim Rohn

The Major Key to Your Better Future is You

2009-09-05T20:45:00.000-07:00

Of all the things that can have an effect on your future, I believe personal growth is the greatest. We can talk about sales growth, profit growth, asset growth, but all of this probably will not happen without personal growth. It’s really the open door to it all. In fact I’d like to have you memorize a most important phrase. Here it is, “The major key to your better future is YOU.”

Let me repeat that. “The major key to your better future is YOU.” Put that someplace you can see it every day, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, at the office, anywhere where you can see it every day. The major key to your better future is YOU. Try to remember that every day you live and think about it. The major key is YOU.

Now, there are many things that will help your better future. If you belong to a strong, dynamic, progressive company, that would help. If the company has good products, good services that you are proud of, that would certainly help. If there were good sales aids, that would help, good training would certainly help. If there is strong leadership, that will certainly help. All of these things will help, and of course, if it doesn’t storm, that will help. If your car doesn’t break down, that will help. If the kids don’t get sick, that will help. If the neighbors stay halfway civil, that will help. If your relatives don’t bug you, that will help. If it isn’t too cold, if it isn’t too hot, all those things will help your better future. And if prices don’t go much higher and if taxes don’t get much heavier, that will help. And if the economy stays stable, those things will all help. We could go on and on with the list; but remember this, the list of things that I’ve just covered and many more - all put together - play a minor role in your better future.

The major key to your better future is you. Lock your mind onto that. This is a super important point to remember. The major key is you. A friend of mine has always answered when asked, “How do you develop an above-average income?” He says, “Simple. Become an above-average person. Work on you.” My friend says, “Develop an above-average handshake.” He says, “A lot of people want to be successful, and they don’t even work on their handshake. As easy as that would be to start, they let it slide. They don’t understand.” My friend says, “Develop an above- average smile. Develop an above-average excitement. Develop an above-average dedication. Develop an above-average interest in other people.” He says, “To have more, become more.” Remember; work harder on yourself than you do on your job. For a long time in my life, I didn’t have this figured out.

Strangely enough, with two different people in the same company one may earn an extra $100 a month, and the other may earn a $1,000. What could possibly be the difference? If the products were the same, if the training was the same, if they both had the same literature, the same tools. If they both had the same teacher, the same compensation plan, if they both attended the same meetings, why would one person earn the $100 per month and the other person earn the $1000?
Remember here is the difference...the difference is personal, inside, not outside, inside.

You see the real difference is inside you. In fact, the difference IS you. Someone once said, “The magic is not in the products. The magic is not in the literature. The magic is not in the film. There isn’t a magic meeting, but the magic that makes things better is inside you, and personal growth makes this magic work for you.

The magic is in believing. The magic is in daring. The magic is in trying. The real magic is in persevering. The magic is in accepting. It’s in working. The magic is in thinking. There is magic in a handshake. There is magic in a smile. There is magic in excitement and determination. There is real magic in compassion and caring and sharing. There is unusual magic in strong feeling and you see, all that comes from inside, not outside. So, the difference is inside you. The real difference is you. You are the major key to your better future.

--by Jim Rohn

Do You Know What You Want to Do?

2009-09-02T20:43:00.000-07:00

Empty nesters, women and men who have been in a career for decades, stay-at-home moms, parents retiring, college grads, and people returning from service... all are asked, What do you want to do now?

Are you asking yourself that question? Have you come up with some ideas, but....

I know what it is like when you are burnt out, can't figure out what to do next, or feel you just can't do it all by yourself.

Over the years, I have heard stories of desire and confusion when it comes to what to do next.

I was fortunate, sitting in my daughter's high school college meeting, that my idea to start Empty Nest Support Services came to me, motivated from not wanting anyone to go through this major life transition alone.

I knew nothing about websites, but I did know how to teach, inspire, and learn. I made a list of what I was good at doing, what compliments I had heard over the years. For example, "You make communicating so easy. You just are able to stay hopeful even when you have no idea how to solve your problems, you say it like it is but you aren't a punisher. I have never met anyone who follows their gut feelings like you do." I am not telling you this to brag. We all know what we are good at doing. I am telling you because it sticks when others share what they know about you.

I am telling you also because here is a way to find out what people think your talents, skills, and gifts are that you could offer to others. (No one told me math.)

GET STARTED:

1. Invite them to your home.

2. Feed them.

3. Give them paper to write how they have helped you, how they have seen you help others, what they think you would like to do, and finally what short phrase they would say about you. For example, "Kathy, you are the best organizer."

4. If a friend can't come, email them the questions to fill in and have them email them written back to you. Put a return date on the email. People complete with deadlines and structure.

5. I still remember how vulnerable and how much fun that evening was for me. It actually is not ego. It takes courage to ask for help.

6. Write what you aren't good at doing. How much would you pay someone to help you, or how could you barter your needs with someone who has the skill? I have bartered computer skills for my teaching, workshops, consultations, and more.

7. Have the courage to ask for help. You can research online or in your community in the local papers, throwaway magazines, and papers to get support.

8. Have someone interview you. One of my favorite things is to interview a new client of mine. Call me and you will see how that ignites what is next for you. It is quick, easy, and gives results. A surprise is revealed, and you will be smiling. A key is looking at who you are and who you aren't as of today and then having three steps of how to pull yourself up to what you want to become. I am simply passionate about revealing your dormant selves to you. I remember the six calls I had with a mother who, long story short, discovered by letting her talk about her joy in watching soap operas, that she really wanted to teach acting to elementary children. She just forgot that part of her through the decades of being mom and working in a bookstore.

No one wants to make changes alone. You don't have to. You need someone to ask the questions, really listen, and check back in with you. I, for sure, had professionals and friends on my path of building my new passions. I say passions because there is more to life than work.

When we are thinking about what is next, it doesn't only mean work. We simply get seduced into thinking we aren't enough if we aren't working, giving back. Not true. What's next could be making time for new relationships, both in partnering and friendships. I have seen where women want to date but are spending time with their friends and not making time to meet a partner. It is a comfort zone. Single parents feel overwhelmed, out of practice, and insecure about their looks, interests, and ways to connect.

Don't you wish we could just say what is to ourselves and then others? It is freeing.

More than anything, I know people want connections with like-minded others. They want a community. They don't want to always be the initiators and planners. Sound familiar?

My reminder to you is to not go through these transitions alone. If there is one risk you can force yourself to take, write what compliments you have heard about yourself over the years and ask your friends to email you or come over and write that list with you. OK, that is two risks.

Just do it. Stop that chatter in your head. Do it.

--by Natalie Caine, M.A.

How to Recover from a Bad Day

2009-08-30T20:40:00.000-07:00

Bad days are a part of life. We all have them. No matter how many yoga classes you attend or how smoothly your life runs, you'll run up against one sooner or later. The secret to thriving is learning how to move forward in spite of bad days, not aiming to never have one (although minimizing their frequency is a good thing).

Here are some tips for dusting yourself off and getting back on track after a bad day happens:

Do you have permission to have a bad day? Make sure that your inner-perfectionist (the one who requires all-or-nothing success) isn't running your show. Are you knee-deep in self-blame or guilt for things that may have contributed to your bad day (or for the way you reacted to it)? As long as you are busy beating yourself up, you won't be able to move on. Why not try on the idea that an occasional bad day is simply to be expected? It doesn't mean you failed; it means it's time to implement the "bad day plan."

Are you ready to move on, and what will you need to let go of to do so? This is an important question. Are you ready to move on from your bad day, or do you need it to continue for a little while longer? If you are busy beating yourself up, or feeling miserable, or drowning your sorrows, or feeling indignant and victimized, you're not ready to stop having a bad day yet. What do you need to let go of in order to start to shift into a different space? Anger, hurt, frustration, and negativity are all common answers.

What do you want to move on TO? How do you want things to be? How do you want to feel? What do you want your mindset or mental attitude to be? Your posture? Your facial expressions? Take a look in the mirror and make sure you aren't still carrying your bad day with you -- it's amazing how often we do this.

What helps you feel grounded? An important step in moving on from a bad day is connecting with the present and letting go of the past. What helps you to be really present in THIS moment -- completely here and alive? For some people, deep breathing or physical activity helps. Some people like to journal or spend quiet time alone. Take some time to get centered and to set your intention for how you want to BE in the present moment and into the future.

What kind thing can you do for yourself? This is what we do for others who are having a bad day. What can you do for yourself? (And no, a pint of ice cream doesn't count.) Can you call a friend or rent a movie? Pick a flower from your yard? Schedule a massage or a long bath or buy some new nail polish? Bad day recovery days are prime times for self-care.

What's one thing you can commit to that is a positive action? It doesn't need to be big. Pick one small step or action that signifies that you are moving in a positive direction. Do a good deed or a short workout or clean out one drawer. You'll know the action that fits. Your goal is to take the first step toward getting on a more positive track, and when that's done, take the next one.

--by Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC

Planning

2009-08-27T20:32:00.000-07:00

I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they plan their lives. Perhaps that is because escape is easier than change.

If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they may have planned for you? Not much.
The reason why most people face the future with apprehension instead of anticipation is because they don't have it well designed.

The guy says, "When you work where I work, by the time you get home, it's late. You've got to have a bite to eat, watch a little TV, relax and get to bed. You can't sit up half the night planning, planning, planning." And he's the same guy who is behind on his car payment!

--by Jim Rohn

Establishing Dreams and Goals

2009-08-24T20:37:00.000-07:00

One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life, and the ability to establish goals to live out those dreams. Think of it: We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families; dream of better financial lives and better emotional or physical lives; certainly dream of better spiritual lives. But what makes this even more powerful is that we have also been given the ability to not only dream but to pursue those dreams and not only to pursue them, but the cognitive ability to actually lay out a plan and strategies (setting goals) to achieve those dreams. Powerful! And that is what we will discuss in detail this week: How to dream dreams and establish goals to get those dreams.

What are your dreams and goals? This isn't what you already have or what you have done, but what you want. Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want? Have you ever taken the time to truly reflect, to listen quietly to your heart, to see what dreams live within you? Your dreams are there. Everyone has them. They may live right on the surface, or they may be buried deep from years of others telling you they were foolish, but they are there.

So how do we know what our dreams are? This is an interesting process and it relates primarily to the art of listening. This is not listening to others; it is listening to yourself. If we listen to others, we hear their plans and dreams (and many will try to put their plans and dreams on us). If we listen to others, we can never be fulfilled. We will only chase elusive dreams that are not rooted deep within us. No, we must listen to our own hearts.

Let's take a look at some practical steps/thoughts on hearing from our hearts on what our dreams are:

Take time to be quiet. This is something that we don't do enough in this busy world of ours. We rush, rush, rush, and we are constantly listening to noise all around us. The human heart was meant for times of quiet, to peer deep within. It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams! Schedule some quiet "dream time" this week. No other people. No cell phone. No computer. Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts (you get to do this in the workbook exercises this week).

Think about what really thrills you. When you are quiet, think about those things that really get your blood moving. What would you LOVE to do, either for fun or for a living? What would you love to accomplish? What would you try if you were guaranteed to succeed? What big thoughts move your heart into a state of excitement and joy? When you answer these questions you will feel Great and you will be in the "dream zone." It is only when we get to this point that we experience what Our dreams are!

Write down all of your dreams as you have them. Don't think of any as too outlandish or foolish - remember, you're dreaming! Let the thoughts fly and take careful record.

Now, prioritize those dreams. Which are most important? Which are most feasible? Which would you love to do the most? Put them in the order in which you will actually try to attain them. Remember, we are always moving toward action, not just dreaming.

Here is the big picture: Life is too short to not pursue your dreams. Someday your life will near its end and all you will be able to do is look backwards. You can reflect with joy or regret. Those who dream, who set goals and act on them to live out their dreams are those who live lives of joy and have a sense of peace when they near the end of their lives. They have finished well, for themselves and for their families.

Remember: These are the dreams and goals that are born out of your heart and mind. These are the goals that are unique to you and come from who you were created to be and gifted to become. Your specific goals are what you want to attain because they are what will make your life joyful and bring your family's life into congruence with what you want it to be.

--by Jim Rohn

Attitude is Everything

2009-08-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

The process of human change begins within us. We all have tremendous potential. We all desire good results from our efforts. Most of us are willing to work hard and to pay the price that success and happiness demand.

Each of us has the ability to put our unique human potential into action and to acquire a desired result. But the one thing that determines the level of our potential, that produces the intensity of our activity, and predicts the quality of the result we receive is our attitude.

Attitude determines how much of the future we are allowed to see. It decides the size of our dreams and influences our determination when we are faced with new challenges. No other person on earth has dominion over our attitude. People can affect our attitude by teaching us poor thinking habits or unintentionally misinforming us or providing us with negative sources of influence, but no one can control our attitude unless we voluntarily surrender that control.

No one else "makes us angry." We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude. What someone else may have done is irrelevant. We choose, not they. They merely put our attitude to a test. If we select a volatile attitude by becoming hostile, angry, jealous or suspicious, then we have failed the test. If we condemn ourselves by believing that we are unworthy, then again, we have failed the test.

If we care at all about ourselves, then we must accept full responsibility for our own feelings. We must learn to guard against those feelings that have the capacity to lead our attitude down the wrong path and to strengthen those feelings that can lead us confidently into a better future.

If we want to receive the rewards the future holds in trust for us, then we must exercise the most important choice given to us as members of the human race by maintaining total dominion over our attitude. Our attitude is an asset, a treasure of great value, which must be protected accordingly. Beware of the vandals and thieves among us who would injure our positive attitude or seek to steal it away.

Having the right attitude is one of the basics that success requires. The combination of a sound personal philosophy and a positive attitude about ourselves and the world around us gives us an inner strength and a firm resolve that influences all the other areas of our existence.

--by Jim Rohn

The Four Steps to a Super Attitude

2009-08-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

1. Decide How to React

It is not what happens to you that counts. It is how you react to what happens to you, especially when you have unexpected problems of any kind.

Here are four things you can do to assure that your attitude is the very best it can be, under all circumstances.

Focus on the Future

First, whatever challenges you face, focus on the future rather than on the past. Instead of worrying about who did what and who is to blame, focus on where you want to be and what you want to do. Get a clear mental image of your ideal successful future, and then take whatever action you can to begin moving in that direction. Get your mind, your thoughts, and your mental images on the future.

Think About the Future

Second, whenever you´re faced with a difficulty, focus on the solution rather than on the problem. Think and talk about the ideal solution to the obstacle or setback, rather than wasting time rehashing and reflecting on the problem.

Solutions are inherently positive, whereas problems are inherently negative. The instant that you begin thinking in terms of solutions, you become a positive and constructive human being.

Look for the Good

Third, assume that something good is hidden within each difficulty or challenge. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, a major proponent of positive thinking, once said, “Whenever God wants to give us a gift, he wraps it up in a problem.’ The bigger the gift you have coming, the bigger the problem you will receive. But the wonderful thing is that if you look for the gift, you will always find it.

Seek the Valuable Lesson

Fourth, assume that whatever situation you are facing at the moment is exactly the right situation you need to ultimately be successful. This situation has been sent to you to help you learn something, to help you become better, to help you expand and grow.

2. Decide to Be Positive

A Positive Mental Attitude is indispensable to your success. You can be as positive as you want to be if you will simply think about the future, focus on the solution and look for the good. If you do what other successful people do, if you use your mind to exert mental control over the situation, you will be positive and cheerful most of the time. And you will reap the benefits enjoyed by all successful people.

3. Action Exercises

Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action:

First, become solution-oriented with every difficulty you face. Make a habit of looking for the answers to your questions, the solutions to your problems.

Second, seek for the valuable lesson in every adversity. Make a list of every idea or insight you can gain from every setback or difficulty.

Third, think on paper. Take some time to write out every detail of the problem, and then take the most logical next step to solve it.

--by Brian Tracy

Why You Must Read Biographies

2009-08-15T20:18:00.000-07:00

"Don't worry boy, it will be alright. I've took this road you are walkin' down. I've been in your shoes. It is just somethin' that you have got to go through. I had this same talk with my dad."

Those were the words I heard from my dad at the age of twelve, when my heart had flushed my eyes with tears because the life of my dog was flickering out. Through the years I have taken walks down the same road with my dad and I've heard different versions of the same speech when business was tough, friendships ended or I wasn't feeling my best.

Sometimes it is nice to know that what you are going through isn't an experience unique to you. There is comfort in knowing that others have been there and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Often, when you are in the midst of the tunnel – the only thing that catches your focus is despair, discouragement and depression. Yet, it can turn your day around when someone ventures into the tunnel – walks with you and grabs your hand to say, “I've been here…hang in there. I turned out alright and you will as well.’

Unfortunately, we don't all have someone who will tread into the tunnel and walk beside with encouragement. This is why it is so important to read biographies! A biography is a unique way to have a successful person walk beside you as you examine the story of their life. You will often be surprised that the most successful people of all time experience the same struggles as you.

Einstein was divorced, Lincoln battled depression, Ronald Reagan had his heart broken by his first wife and Sam Walton went broke twice. Where did I learn these facts? From the biographies I read! Did it make me feel better because they had hard times? Yes and no. I never delight in someone else's pain. On the other hand, it is without question that Einstein, Lincoln, Reagan and
Walton were monumental successes. It is refreshing and inspiring to read that they were also human and have walked down the same road that you and I have.

What an encouragement it was when my business was struggling a few years ago to read Sam Walton's biography and my eyes halted on the page where I read that at the exact age I was – at that time – that he was in an almost identical financial spot! I put the book down and a smile spread across my face. If you don't know who Sam Walton is, he started a small company called Wal-Mart a few years ago and it turned out okay.

Reading Sam Walton's biography was a neat way for me to get inspired and reminded that some pretty successful people have met discouragement head on and succeeded. In a sense, while reading that book, a message from the spirit of Sam Walton said, “Ron – I have been there. It is hard, but don't give up. The reward is worth it. Now press on.’ I did and I will be forever glad that I did.

Now, go to the bookstore and pick up a biography. By the way, if you are in a rough spot or experiencing some heartache…….. "Don't worry boy, it will be alright. I've took this road you are walkin' down. I've been in your shoes. It is just somethin' that you have got to go through. I had this same talk with my dad."

--by Ron White

Success in the Stairway: Your Path to the Top

2009-08-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

Imagine walking into a 20-story office building, knowing that your upcoming meeting is on the top floor.

You walk into the building and immediately search for the elevators.

To your surprise, and disappointment, some of the elevators show "out of order" signs, and the rest are currently being worked on by a team of repairmen.

You ask one of the repairmen how to get up to your meeting on the 20th floor, and he points to a nearby door and says with a shrug, "You'll have to take the stairs."

While a situation exactly like this may have never happened to you, metaphorically, it's your life.

You want to reach the top of your career, the top of the pay scale, the pinnacle of success.

You want to not only do well, but find the shortcuts or "elevator" to the top.

While you know your success in any endeavor, personal or professional, requires some effort, wouldn't you like to make it as painless and easy as possible (which, of course, is why we consistently look for the elevator or the fast track)?

There are no "overnight" successes.

Great success comes from "taking the stairs" and moving toward your goals one step at a time.

As you start to walk up the stairs to your meeting, you realize that while you would have rather ridden, there are some advantages to the stairway.

You are getting exercise, building your stamina, gaining a new perspective, creating a new experience, and as you climb the last flight of stairs, you realize the pride that comes from the effort!

All of these things are true for the effort you put into life. The efforts you expend create exactly these same benefits: exercise, stamina, perspective, experience, and pride.

Given the metaphor of "success in the stairway," what are the ways you can take the reality of effort and make the most of your effort, improving your likelihood of reaching the top floor as quickly as possible?

There are five ways you can use your effort intelligently to make your path to the top straighter and more direct -- even if you do have to walk:

1. Informed effort (Find the correct stairway.). Many people believe that to create great results, you must work hard. Effort, as you've already seen in this article, is required, but the effort doesn't have to be hard. More important hard work is informed effort. Are you doing things the way other successful people have done them? Are you taking time to learn the things that will minimize your effort? Make your effort more informed, and you will make your job easier.

2. Continual effort (Keep walking.). Getting into the stairway is great, but you won't reach the top unless you keep walking. In order to be successful, you must make continual effort. What did you do last week to move toward your success? What about yesterday? What have you done (or will you do) to create greater success today?

3. Reframe effort (Does it have to be work?). If you always think about your work being hard, guess what it will be? (Here's a hint -- it will be hard.) But does work have to be hard? Could it be enjoyable? Could it be rewarding? Once you create a new frame of reference for effort, you make climbing the steps to your success so much easier.

4. Collaborative effort (Why not climb together?). Find others to travel with you. When most people feel like a part of something larger than themselves -- whether through a teammate or a friend -- they will be more disciplined and more effective. Who do you know that could mentor you or work with you or support you? Or, who can you mentor, help, or support?

5. Enthusiastic effort (Enjoy the trip.). Choose to enjoy the trip up the stairs. The fact is the elevator is broken; the walk is real and necessary. Why not choose to find the positive and enjoy the experience? You know that when you are enjoying a situation it goes faster and easier -- and you are probably more productive as well. You know this is true. Make the choice to be more enthusiastic and positive.

Yes, effort is definitely still required, but these are things you can do to make that effort more effective and enjoyable.

Potential Pointer: Success in any area of life requires effort -- there is no free lunch. But how you view and tackle that effort will make all the difference in the speed and ease with which you climb your path to the top.

-- by Kevin Eikenberry

Dump Those Negative Habits Now!

2009-08-09T20:09:00.000-07:00

If you want to distance yourself from the masses and enjoy a rich and unique lifestyle, understand this - your habits will determine your future.

The fact is, if you keep on doing things a certain way, you will get a predictable result. That's the simple law of Cause and Effect. Successful habits create positive rewards. Negative habits breed negative consequences.

If you want to enjoy longevity, you must have healthy habits. If you are in the habit of starving your most important relationships of time, energy and love, how can you expect a happy outcome? If you spend money on the fly or don't save any money, your bad habits will lead you to a never-ending cycle of work.

Shift yourself out of your bad habits
Fortunately, you can jump from this bad habits path anytime you want. It's a very simple process - it just takes some applied focus. Here's the step-by-step process I recommend:

1) Clearly identify your bad or unproductive habits. Write them down.

Be specific.
Remember to consider the long-term consequences should you continue in this bad habit. As an example, a couple cigarettes a day may not seem like much, but after 10 years, the buildup of having smoked 7,300 cigarettes remains in your system.
Consider habits at home, in your communications and relations with others, at work, in your driving habits, in your free time, and in matters related to your physical, emotional and spiritual health.
Be totally honest.

2) Define your new successful habit and visualize its results in your life.Your new habit is usually the simple opposite of your bad habit. To motivate yourself, think about all the benefits and rewards for adopting your new successful habit. The more vividly you describe the benefits and create the picture in your mind, the more likely you are to take action.

3) Create a three-part action plan.
For every bad habit, there are at least 15 action steps you can take to help you stop. Put some time into this and think about it - it's easy to come up with action steps, but they have to be YOUR action steps that you know are within your realm of taking. As an example, if you want to stop smoking, hypnosis therapy may be more preferable than a nicotine patch. Don't list action steps that you know in your heart you won't do.

4) For the next three weeks, schedule these action steps into your day.
If you know you want to start exercising three times a week, schedule it now in your appointment book. If you want to start reading uplifting books, schedule an hour in your daily schedule and make plans now as to where you will read without interruption. Whatever the new habit, work it into your schedule for the month ahead as most habits - even the very ugliest ones - can be completely re-patterned in this short timeframe.

5) Then, take action!
Start with one habit that you really want to change. Focus on your three immediate steps and put them into action. Do it now. Remember, nothing will change until YOU do.

--by Mark Victor Hansen

The Key to Making Life Unique and Worthwhile

2009-08-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

Now the key to make life really unique and worthwhile is to share. Sharing has a certain unique magic of its own. Here's what I learned in sharing ideas.

If you share an idea with ten different people, they get to hear it once, and you get to hear it ten times. So here's part of self-interest for yourself, getting you even better prepared for the future. Share ideas. Share with your family, share with the people around you, share with other employees, share with your colleagues.

Because by sharing, two things happen. Here's what we call it. I don't know how to explain it, but I do know it happens. And I don't know all about how it happens or why it happens, it just happens.

When one person shares with another, two things happen. The audience could be transformed, and so could the speaker. If you share with someone else, they could be transformed. You may have dropped in at the right time. This may be their moment. They've got three numbers dialed into the lock already, and if you say it well and say it right you'll be the fourth number that they can dial into the lock of their personal experience and the door will come open and there's opportunity they never saw before. The person who hears could be transformed.

But here's what else is exciting. The person who speaks could be transformed. Guess what we're all looking for…transformation for our new life. The new life tomorrow, the new life this month, the new life next year, the new life this year.

The caterpillar one day says, "I think I was made for more than this crawling on the ground." So the caterpillar climbs the tree, attaches himself to a leaf and spins the cocoon. Who knows what disciplined effort it takes to spin a cocoon. But something inside the caterpillar says, "I was designed for something more than being just a caterpillar."

And then when the cocoon is ready and it opens up, out comes a butterfly that flies away, maybe singing, "I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky! I used to be a caterpillar on the ground, now I fly."

I'm asking you to go through such a metamorphosis. I'm asking you often to go through a period where you say, "New skills, new things are waiting for me," and part of this will come if you'll translate for other people what you feel in your heart and in your soul. As awkward as your language might be at first, don't hesitate to do it.

Here's what sharing does…makes room for more. Key question, if this glass is full of water can it hold any more? If the glass is full of water, can it hold any more? And the answer is yes, yes, if you pour some out. So jot that down. If you want more, you've got to pour out what you've got, and then you have the opportunity to receive more.

Now, unlike the glass that remains the same size when you pour some out; not so in the consciousness of human beings. Your capacity will increase the more you share. You'll get bigger and bigger and bigger.

Now why the self-interest wish to be bigger? Here's why… to hold more of the next experience. Some people can't hold much happiness because they're too small, their thinking is too small, their activity is too small, they're too small in their ability to share, they're just too small. Can't hold much, they're too small.

But the bigger you get, the more you will receive. When happiness is poured out, you'll get more. When joy is poured out on the nation, you'll get more. When bounty is poured out from the economy, you will get more, if you share what you've got and become bigger and bigger and bigger.

Now some people are not only small, they have their glass turned upside down. Hard to get anything in. But here's what you've done in reading this ezine. You've come with an open mind, an open consciousness, ready to receive, and I promise you we'll continue to pour everything we possibly can into every issue to make it beneficial for you.

--by Jim Rohn

FREEDOM

2009-08-03T08:50:00.000-07:00

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

-- The Declaration of Independence

"The arms we have been compelled by our enemies to assume we will, in defiance of every hazard, with unabating firmness and perseverance, employ for the preservation of our liberties being with one mind resolved to die free rather than live slaves."

-- Thomas Jefferson

"Whatever the standard of freedom and independence has been or shall be unfurled, there will be America´s heart, her benedictions and her prayers."

-- John Quincy Adams

"These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman."

-- Thomas Paine

The Secret Power of Persuasion

2009-07-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

We’ve all heard of win/win negotiation, but let’s be honest….in many of our negotiations we would really like a bit more than win/win. When buying a property, or any other big-ticket item, we usually want to buy it at the best price possible, while the vendor wants to sell it for the highest price they can achieve.

Admit it… when you buy your next car, you would really like the negotiations to end up favouring you and not being an even handed win/win?

Good negotiators have developed the art of being able to influence others to see things their way. They know how to get others to do things they want to get done. They seem to have an innate gift of understanding others needs and wants and finding a way of delivering that within in the bigger context of getting what they themselves want.

A number of years ago I came across a powerful book, The Psychology of Persuasion, in which Robert Cialdini outlines six universal principles of influence that he discovered as he studied what made people do the things they do, in his role as a professor of psychology.

Let’s look at these in more detail…

1. Reciprocation

We were all taught that we should find way to repay others for what they do for us. That’s only fair - most people will make an effort to avoid being considered an ingrate or someone who does not pay their debts.

Cialdini explains how in the 1970’s the Hare Karishnanas used this principal to raise millions of dollars. They would give passers-by a flower and requested no money. However this innate principal was so strong that even though the recipients didn’t really want the flower, they felt the need to repay the debt of kindness in some way and many donated money.

You probably have come across this principle, where someone has delivered a number of uninvited "first favours" over time and then you feel obliged to deal with them or do business with them.

Put simply, whatever you give out in life you tend to get back sooner or later. If you go through life looking for good in others and helping others get what they need, you may not always get an instant reward, but the principle of reciprocity will provide somewhere along the line.

2. Social Proof

Cialdini points out that we decide what is correct by noticing what other people think is correct. Innately we want to be like others and people are comforted knowing others are doing the same thing.

This principle is often used by sales people who give testimonials from people “just like you” who have bought and appreciated their product or service. Most people feel at ease if they know others have already done what they intend to do. Celebrity product endorsements are an obvious application of this principle of Social Proof.

If you want someone to do something for you, be sure to let them see that other people are already doing it or are willing to do it. Show them that others like them believe in your product or service and are using it.

3. Commitment and Consistency

Once people have made a choice or taken a stand, they are under both internal and external pressure to behave consistent with that commitment. When people tell their friends they are going to give up smoking, or going lose weight, it motivates them to keep going with their decisions. We tend to feel pressured to behave consistent with the choices we have made. No one likes to admit they were wrong.

You can use this principal in negotiation by taking time to understand what motivates others and speak to them in their own language. Try and elicit their values. Find out what they want, what they are trying to achieve. This will allow you to tap into their natural motivators, while also giving them what they want.

When you can get someone to commit verbally to an action, the chances go up sharply that they'll actually do it.

4. Friends

We all like doing business with people we know and like. And people tend to like others who appear to have similar opinions, personality traits, backgrounds or lifestyles. More people will say 'yes' to you if they like you, and the more similar to them you appear to be, the more likely they are to like you.

That’s why it’s important to build rapport with people you plan to negotiate with.

5. Authority

Most of us were raised with a respect for authority, so we tend to place importance on information given to us by authority figures like doctors, policemen or professionals.

Sometimes people confuse the symbols of authority such as titles, appearance or possessions with the true substance. This means you can use this principle to your advantage during negotiations. Look and act like an authority yourself - dress like the people who are already in the positions of authority that you seek. Or cite authoritative sources to support your ideas.

6. Scarcity

The feeling that we may miss out on something special or unique will drive us to take action. Things always seem more valuable is there’s an element scarcity. Hard-to-get things are perceived as better than easy-to-get things.

Look at most advertising and you’ll see words like “limited offer”, “closes this weekend” or “limited edition collectors items.” How can you use this principle of scarcity in your negotations?

Professor Cialdini's Six Weapons of Influence are incredibly powerful and can be combined in many ways. They are useful in property negotiations, in business or in fact, in all walks of your life. Use them whenever you approach people you want to influence and they will assist you in becoming a powerful communicator. On their own these principals are ethic less. They can be used to create a win/win outcome for you and for those who you negotiate with. Or they can be used for dark purposes of influence. Obviously I would suggest you don’t use them this way.

--by Michael Yardney

EMOTIONS

2009-07-27T08:45:00.000-07:00

"One of the early signs of sophistication is not giving way to all inclinations but rather sending your emotions to school so they will learn how to behave."

-- Jim Rohn

"Calmness is the cradle of power."

-- Josiah Gilbert Holland

"If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, then the world is yours and all that's in it."

-- Rudyard Kipling

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth."

-- Benjamin Disraeli

5 Reasons Why Dreams Don't Take Flight

2009-07-24T08:42:00.000-07:00

Most of us never see our dreams come true. Instead of soaring through the clouds, our dreams languish like a broken-down airplane confined to its hangar. Through life, I have come to identify five common reasons why dreams don't take flight.

#1 We Have Been Discouraged from Dreaming by Others

We have to pilot our own dreams; we cannot entrust them to anyone else. People who aren't following their own dreams resent us pursuing ours. Such people feel inadequate when we succeed, so they try to drag us down.

If we listen to external voices, then we allow our dreams to be hijacked. At some point, other people will place limitations on us by doubting our abilities. When surrounded by the turbulence of criticism, we have to grasp the controls tightly to keep from being knocked off course.

#2 We Are Hindered by Past Disappointments and Hurts

In the movie Top Gun, Tom Cruise plays Maverick, a young, talented, and cocky aviator who dreams of being the premier pilot in the U.S. Navy. In the film's opening scenes, Maverick showcases his flying ability but also displays a knack for pushing the envelope with regards to safety. Midway through the movie, Maverick's characteristic aggression spells disaster. His plane crashes, killing his best friend and co-pilot.

Although cleared of wrongdoing, the painful memory of the accident haunts Maverick. He quits taking risks and loses his edge. Struggling to regain his poise, he considers giving up on his dream. Although the incident nearly wrecks Maverick's career, he eventually reaches within to find the strength to return to the sky.

Like Maverick, many of us live with the memory of failure embedded in our psyche. Perhaps a business we started went broke, or we were fired from a position of leadership. Disappointment is the gap that exists between expectation and reality, and all of us have encountered that gap. Failure is a necessary and natural part of life, but if we're going to attain our dreams, then, like Maverick, we have to summon the courage to deal with past hurts.

#3 We Fall into the Habit of Settling for Average

Average is the norm for a reason. Being exceptional demands extra effort, sustained inspiration, and uncommon discipline. When we attempt to give flight to our dreams, we have to overcome the weight of opposition. Like gravity, life's circumstances constantly pull on our dreams, tugging us down to mediocrity.

Most of us don't pay the price to overcome the opposition to our dreams. We may start out inspired, but through time we fatigue. Although never intending to abandon our dreams, we begin to make concessions here and there. Through time, our lives become mundane, and our dreams slip away.

#4 We Lack the Confidence Needed to Pursue Our Dreams

Dreams are fragile. They will be buffeted by assaults from all sides. As such, they must be supplied with the extra strength of self-confidence.

In Amelia Earhart's day, women were not supposed to fly airplanes. If she had lacked self-assurance, she never would have even attempted to be a pilot. Instead, Earhart confidently chased after her dream, and she was rewarded with both fulfillment and fame.

#5 We Lack the Imagination to Dream

For thousands of years, mankind traveled along the ground: by foot, by horse-and-buggy, by locomotive, and eventually by automobile. Thanks to the dreams of Orville and Wilbur Wright, we now hop across oceans in a matter of hours. The imaginative brothers overcame ridicule and doubt to pioneer human flight, and the world has never been the same.

Many of us play small because we do not allow ourselves to dream. We trap ourselves in reality and never dare to go beyond what we can see with our eyes. Imagination lifts us beyond average by giving us a vision of life that surpasses what we are experiencing currently. Dreams infuse our spirit with energy and spur us on to greatness.

--by Dr. John C. Maxwell

DREAM BIG DREAMS

2009-07-21T08:41:00.000-07:00

"Get excited and enthusiastic about your own dream. This excitement is like a forest fire – you can smell it, taste it, and see it from a mile away."

-- Denis Waitley

"The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by obvious realities. We need men and women who can dream of things that never were..."

-- John F. Kennedy

Three Rules for Turning Stress Into Success

2009-07-18T08:38:00.000-07:00

1. Accept the Unchangeable - Everything that has happened in your life to this minute is unchangeable. It´s history. The greatest waste of energy is in looking back at missed opportunities, lamenting past events, grudge collecting, getting even, harboring ill will, and any vengeful thinking. Success is the only acceptable form of revenge. By forgiving your trespassers, you become free to concentrate on going forward with your life and succeeding in spite of your detractors. You will live a rewarding and fulfilling life.

Your enemies, on the other hand, will forever wonder how you went on to become so successful without them and in the shadow of their doubts.

Action Idea: Write down on a sheet of paper things that happened in the past that bother you. Now crumple the paper into a ball and throw it at the computer screen. This symbolizes letting go of past misfortunes.

2. Change the Changeable - What you can change is your reaction to what others say and do. And you can control your own thoughts and actions by dwelling on desired results instead of the penalties of failure. The only real control you have in life is that of your immediate thought and action. Since most of what we do is a reflex, subconscious habit, it is wise not to act on emotional impulse. In personal relations, it is better to wait a moment until reason has the opportunity to compete with your emotions.

Action Idea: Write down in your diary one thing you will do tomorrow to help you relax more during and after a stressful day.

3. Avoid the Unacceptable - Go out of your way to get out of the way of potentially dangerous behaviors and environments. When people tailgate you on the freeway, change lanes. If they follow you at night, drive to a well-lighted public place.

When there are loud, obnoxious people next to you at a restaurant or club, change tables, or locations. Also, be cautious of personal relationships developed via the Internet. With the massive number of individuals surfing the net, the number of predators increases in like proportion. Always be on the alert for potentially dangerous situations involving your health, personal safety, financial speculation and emotional relationships.

Action Idea: What is one unacceptable behavior you have or allow others to do to you that you will avoid starting tomorrow? Example: The way you drive, being around negative people, walking down dark streets alone late at night, etc.

--by Denis Waitley

DO IT NOW!

2009-07-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

"Now is the only time there is. Make your now wow, your minutes miracles, and your days pay. Your life will have been magnificently lived and invested, and when you die you will have made a difference."

-- Mark Victor Hansen

"Stop rationalizing, stop stewing. Get up out of your chair and start doing."

-- Denis Waitley

"It's a strange thing, you have said it thousands of times I am sure… you will never know what you can do until you try. However the sad truth is, that most people never try anything until they know they can do it."

-- Bob Proctor

"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been'."

-- John Greenleaf Whittier

Why Mistakes Are Good for Us

2009-07-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

Have you ever made a mistake and wished that you hadn't? Stupid question, right? Of course you have! We all have. Well, let me propose to you that you've had regrets like that for the last time!

I believe that part of our life purpose is to learn certain things. These things may very well disguise themselves in the shape of obstacles and so-called failures. One of life's big challenges is learning to decode them, to turn poison into medicine, and to learn to perceive obstacles, problems, and so-called failures as exciting challenges and opportunities for growth and evolvement instead.

If we were simply able to say "I made an experience" instead of "I made a mistake" every time we experienced "failure" in our lives, perhaps we would then automatically look at ourselves and those mistakes and failures in a completely different light. Failure is a matter of perception.

Mistakes are good for us. They point out things that we need to look at. They are there to remind us not to fall asleep behind the wheel. They lead us further along the road to becoming even better at what we do so that we can go on to teach others, which is a great gift.

Mistakes are there to inspire us and encourage us to keep moving and keep feeding our Soul and our mind -- to keep living!

Nobody is perfect -- whatever that means. Luckily, we all make mistakes every now and again, no matter how smart, how well trained, and how experienced we are. When we do, we feel terrible and stupid and we think that we are all alone in making mistakes, and so we have a tendency to put ourselves down.

Don't knock yourself on the head. Recognize the experience for what it is -- a loud wake-up call! Consider what happened and why. Constructively evaluate yourself. Take responsibility; learn and move on.

Remind yourself that learning and evolving is exciting. The day we don't do that anymore is going to be a sad and, most of all, very boring day. So be grateful that in this case you had a chance to learn something. Was it uncomfortable at the time? Probably... So cringe, if you must, then have a laugh, dust yourself off, and move on. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Life is all about choices. No matter what kind of choices we make, there will be rough patches. Those are valuable lessons. They tell us about ourselves, our needs and passions, and our ever-evolving place in the world. Relish those choices and those lessons. Be grateful every day for the wisdom they represent. It's yours for the keeping and for the sharing with other people.

Allow yourself to dream and think big, dare something worthy, make loads of mistakes along the way -- and fill up your knowledge box to the brink!

Look at it this way: each time you make a mistake, it is like making a deposit into your bank account. Your knowledge expands and grows until one day you have so much in your account that you can afford to share freely with others. The more you give out, the more you will get back. So your wealth is automatically growing and expanding even more. And it all started with a few mistakes. Cool, right?

Think of times in your life where a mistake or a major challenge turned out to be a blessing in disguise. What did you learn from these situations? How did they turn out to your advantage? How did you benefit in the end?

Next time you feel that you've made a mistake, simply smile and be happy that you just made a huge deposit into your experience account. Think about how rich you are and how much more you can afford to share with others.

Indeed, mistakes are good for us -- they make us who we are and often account for our most valuable treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

--By Suzann Rye

DISCIPLINE

2009-07-09T08:33:00.000-07:00

"The only competition you will ever have is the competition between your disciplined and undisciplined mind."

-- James A. Ray

"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it."

-- General H. Norman Schwarzkopf

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

-- Stephen King

"When the morning's freshness has been replaced by the weariness of midday, when the leg muscles give under the strain, the climb seems endless, and suddenly nothing will go quite as you wish-it is then that you must not hesitate."

-- Dag Hammarskjold

Feel Your Emotions to Create a Life You Love

2009-07-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

Feeling your emotions is very important if you wish to create a life you love. Many of us avoid feeling emotions we tend to think of as negative; for instance, anger, sadness, fear, hate, doubt, shame, jealousy, and resentment. These emotions (and others like them) become especially toxic when they are not fully experienced.

Here are just some of the reasons why feeling your emotions fully is so important.

* If you are not in touch with your unpleasant emotions, you cannot be fully in touch with the emotions we tend to think of as being positive, such as love, happiness, joy, excitement, hope, gratitude, etc.

* If you are not feeling ALL your emotions, it is impossible to live in personal Truth. Many of us are living under illusions of what is important to us, because we are so removed from our own Truth. When you feel your emotions, you begin discovering what is truly important to you. When you honor what is important to you, you begin to live authentically.

* When you don't experience your emotions fully, they stay with you, and you develop a "charge." These accumulated charges may cause you to react to life situations unpredictably or irrationally or see people and events through a distorted filter. Perhaps most importantly, you will continue to create situations in your life, so you once again have the opportunity to feel and heal the pain you are avoiding.

* There is incredible power in your emotions -- power that can draw to you what you want. When you really feel what you desire and are in emotional alignment with what you desire, it begins to manifest in your reality at a rapid pace.

* When you "shut yourself down" emotionally, energy stagnates in your body, and over time it may turn into an ailment or disease. True and permanent healing can occur when you allow yourself to experience the feelings associated with the root issue behind your disease.

* We often think of our emotions as being separate from us, or "bad" things, yet they offer us wonderful information. Our emotions only become problems for us when we stuff them down. When you experience your emotions fully, you begin to see and appreciate their assistance and wisdom.

* When you hide your emotions, you increase the amount of conflict within you. When you have internal conflict, your external world reflects conflict back to you. You will find you have many difficulties and obstacles in your life when you suppress your emotions.

* When you bottle-up your emotions, you bottle-up your creativity. "Managing" your emotions is an incredible strain on you, and there is little space or energy left for your creativity to express itself.

* We often ignore our emotions and choose instead to look "outside" for guidance and answers -- whether that be from another human being or a Spiritual source. If you feel inside, you will be guided step by step.

Experiencing our feelings is a natural process, yet for some people it is "easier said than done." Initially the process can take some time and effort, but it gets easier with practice. And there is great power in knowing you do not have to cower before your own emotions. I invite you to reclaim your power today. Experience your emotions fully to create a life you love!

--By Arleen Hannich

The Tribe: The Source of Your Current Beliefs

2009-07-06T08:31:00.000-07:00

In a perfect world, our parents would teach us that change is the only guarantee in life and that it is therefore essential to be good at accepting change and moving through it. Wouldn't it have been great if your mom had asked you each evening, "What changed today, what is new, and what's good about that?" Acknowledging changes in this way would have helped us develop a view of change that would support us later in life, when we are faced time and time again with new situations and experiences.

Take a moment to think about why you have made the life choices that you have -- whom to marry, what kind of work to pursue, where to live -- and you'll see that we are often a walking imprint of the beliefs of our family and friends -- what I like to call the tribe. Sometimes this loyalty to the tribe is conscious; but most often it is unconscious. This loyalty helps us feel connected to the people in our lives on a deeper level. Your tribe has probably helped shape the way you live, but it can also take away your ability to see and choose the best way to move through change. Every member of your tribe has his or her own model of the world and is all too eager to share it with you. Going against your tribe can be uncomfortable and threatening. If your family believes deeply in the institution of marriage, it takes courage to tell them that you choose to believe that divorce can be a good thing. Or maybe you dream of owning your own business, but your tribe always encouraged you to maintain a steady job. Who is in your tribe? Ask yourself who still has power and influence over your choices and the changes you want to make.

As a friend of mine, Kathy, once told me, "During change I've found that a lot of people have a tendency to hold on to other people's patterns. People need to look at themselves and ask, 'Who am I as an individual?' not 'Who am I as the daughter of my mother or father, the wife of my husband, or the mother to my kids?' "

Choosing your own way can be extremely liberating, so start taking your power back from the tribe! Give yourself permission to express your own view of losing a job, being in a relationship with someone of a different faith, or moving to a new city. It's your life and your change. You can seize the opportunity to make the change your own and to better your life in the best way you see fit.

You can also influence the way someone else views a change you are going through. When my friend Diane lost a big, important Wall Street job, it was as if her world had come crumbling down around her. She had taken in the belief -- from society as well as her friends and family -- that her career was what made her a smart, interesting, and worthy person. She described her job loss with such shame and negativity that I found myself reacting with the same energy. I felt really sorry for her and worried about her future. But if she had decided to see the good in this change and said, "This is great! I'm going to spend some more time with my family, catch up on my reading, hit the gym, or volunteer," I would have been happy and admired her. What you choose to believe and relay about your change determines how others will react to you.

You may not have chosen the change that is happening to you, but you do get to choose your beliefs around it. People can develop their own beliefs at any time in life, whether they're young or old, whether they're deep into a change or just beginning a transition. Everything is always up for discussion.

--By Ariane de Bonvoisin

DESIRE/MOTIVATION

2009-07-03T08:17:00.000-07:00

"We are told that talent creates its own opportunities. But it sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities, but its own talents."

-- Eric Hoffer

"A man must be obedient to the promptings of his innermost heart."

-- Robertson Davies

"The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat."

-- Napoleon Hill

"The significance of a man is not in what he attains, but rather what he longs to attain."

-- Khalil Gibran

Conducting a Personal Inventory of Your "Knowledge Resources"

2009-06-30T08:24:00.000-07:00

Self-knowledge has always been the key to preparing for competition. Knowledge of your attributes, abilities, interests, strengths, weaknesses, and traits is essential to riding the front end of the wave of change into the new century. To fully assess your own talents, realize that studies confirm that what we love and do well as children continues as our latent or manifest talent as adults.

Examination of your weekend or evening interests might reveal a gem of potential you can apply to your vocation. I strongly suggest you don't unthinkingly relegate what you love to do for yourself solely to hobbies. You might make it, or at least integrate it into your life's work.

The acquisition of knowledge, which is the new global power, is a life-long experience, not a collection of facts or skills. Not long ago, what you learned in school was largely all you needed to learn to secure a career. With knowledge expanding exponentially, this is no longer true. Hundreds of scientific papers are published daily.

Every thirty seconds, some new technological company produces yet another innovation. Your formal education has a very short shelf life. Life-long learning, once a luxury for the few, has become absolutely vital to continued success. Continue gaining expertise and avoid thinking like an expert.

Action Idea: An excellent benchmarking exercise is to spend a weekend with key associates or family members and dust off your childhood memories. Remember what you really enjoyed and wanted to do most as a child. The next activity in assessing your interests is considering your current ones. What do you most enjoy after work? What do you most want to do on weekends and vacations? What are your hobbies? Can you bring more of what you enjoy into your business life?

Action Step: Increase Your Reading, Writing and Vocabulary Proficiency. One of the most important qualities of successful leaders is an ability to express thoughts and knowledge. Research by management and human resource experts confirms that no matter what the field of employment, people with large vocabularies - those able to speak clearly and concisely, using simple as well as descriptive words - are best at accomplishing their goals. Well chosen, carefully considered words can close the sale, negotiate the raise, enhance relationships, and change destinies.

In a world of e-mail, fax dispersal, voice mail, sound bites, concise reports, business plans, and meeting briefs, the individuals who can articulate their goals, substantiate their claims, and support their visions, will own the future. In the 21st Century, literacy will be the major difference between the haves and have-nots.

Why do fewer than 10 percent of the public buy and read nonfiction books? One reason is that many would rather get home than get ahead. They are motivated to get by and get pulled along by the company, the economy, or the government.

Another reason is that many individuals believe that information found in books, computer programs, and training sessions has no value in the business world. How self-deluding!

As the new tools of productivity become the Internet, the Digital Versatile Disc, direct digital download of text, audio and video, and the combination of the interactive computer with telecommunications, the people who know how to control the new technologies will acquire power, while those who thought that education ends with the diploma are destined for low-paying, low-satisfaction jobs. In almost the blink of an eye, our society has passed from the industrial age to the knowledge era.

Increase your reading by 100 percent. Decrease your television watching, and that of any children in your family by 50 percent. Surf the Internet and subscribe to book summaries, or download free chapters from different sources. By reading book summaries, you can gain the essence of all the top business books in a very brief period of time.

Action Idea: Read at least one book each month, and listen to at least one additional audio book during commute or down time. One of the best sources for business audio books online is MP3audiobooks.com.

All kinds of reading and listening to fiction and non-fiction will increase your vocabulary, writing and presentation skills. Incredibly, a mere 3,500 words separate the average person from those with superior vocabularies.

Keep a dictionary beside you when you read and look up every word you don't fully understand. Doing that on the spot helps make the word part of your vocabulary forever. And don't depend on your computer's spellchecker for your spelling. Not all e-mail service includes spell check. Also, you may be called upon to write longhand notes, memos, or information on white boards or blackboards at meetings. You not only want to use the right words. You also will want to spell them correctly.

A great way to increase your literacy is to engage in Internet conferences and to read summaries on the web from services like Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble and other booksellers. The more interactive you become in communications and the less you indulge in prime-time television, the more successful you'll become in all areas of your life. Knowledge is the new power. And literacy is the door to knowledge.

--by Denis Waitley

DETERMINATION

2009-06-27T08:19:00.000-07:00

"Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough."

-- Og Mandino

"When someone tells me there is only one way to do things, it always lights a fire under my butt. My instant reaction is, "I'm going to prove you wrong!"

-- Picabo Street

"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer."

-- Albert Camus

"If you have an important point to make, don´t try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time a tremendous whack."

-- Winston Churchill

Live and Work Like Your Mother is Watching

2009-06-24T08:21:00.000-07:00

I had the great honor a few years ago of being inducted into my high school Hall of Fame at St. Paul Central in St. Paul, Minn. Previous honorees include Charles Schulz, creator of the Peanuts cartoon strip; Richard Schulze, founder and chairman of Best Buy; and Dave Winfield, a member of Major League Baseball's Hall of Fame.

Approximately 500 selected students were invited to the auditorium for the ceremony and to hear a few remarks from this year's recipients. I shared four ideas with students, the first three being: 1) Believe in yourself—even when no one else does, 2) Don't quit and 3) There is no "I" in team.

I want to touch here on my fourth point: Act like your mother is watching.

Let me tell you a true story about Professor Bonk who taught chemistry at Duke University. One year, three students were taking chemistry and all earning a solid "A" going into the final exam. The weekend before finals, they decided to go to another school to party with some friends. They didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning, in no shape to take the final.

They explained to Professor Bonk that they had been away for the weekend and had planned to come back in time to study, but they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare, so they didn't get back to campus in time.

Professor Bonk agreed to let them make up the final on the following day. What a relief! They studied all night. When they arrived for the exam, Professor Bonk placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.

They saw the first question was simple, worth 5 points. Piece of cake! Then they turned to question 2, worth 95 points: "Which tire?"

Unfortunately the business community does not get stellar grades for ethics the past few years. Too many companies have tried to fool the public.

Ethics and integrity must be the cornerstone of your existence. If you want your employees to tell the truth, a company better start by being truthful with their employees.

Let me tell you about our mission statement at MackayMitchell Envelope Company, which is: "To be in business forever."

What does that mean? It stands for no hidden liabilities ... no cutting corners ... no small print under the small print ... no red flags.

We in the business community need to set a good example for our young people. Surveys show that a disturbing number of students cite recent corporate and political scandals to justify their dishonesty.

It's critical to use good judgment so that you aren't hauled up before a court. And I'm talking about the court of public opinion as much as any court of law. If you don't use good judgment, you're already judged—especially in business.

A mother was invited for dinner at her son Brian's apartment. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was.

Brian's mom had long suspected a relationship between Brian and Jennifer. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between them than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an email just to be sure."

So he wrote: "Dear Mom: I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Brian."

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read: "Dear Son: I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer were sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now. Love, Mom."

Mackay's Moral: Never lie to your mother ... or anyone else.

--by Harvey Mackay

DECIDE/DECISION

2009-06-21T08:16:00.000-07:00

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."

-- Maya Angelou

"There is a millionaire inside of you...you decide who wins."

-- Doug Firebaugh

"My philosophy of life is that if we make up our mind what we are going to make of our lives, then work hard toward that goal, we never lose — somehow we win out."

-- Ronald Reagan

"People begin to become successful the minute they decide to be."

-- Harvey Mackay

Halo Adjusting

2009-06-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

The scene: A small reception area at a television studio in New York City. Zig's there to be on a late-night program...

As I sat down, a woman walked in, shook her head, and said, "Nobody makes any coffee except me!" She got busy and started a fresh pot of coffee. A few minutes later a guy walked in and said, "I can't believe it! This place would be a pigpen if it weren't for me! I'm the only person who ever does any cleanup."

Still another woman walked in and complained, "Nobody ever puts anything up but me," and she proceeded to put things away. All three of those people sincerely felt they were the only ones who ever did anything. Each one did a private halo adjustment in going through the process of making up, cleaning up, and putting up.

If you are the only one who does anything (at your office, or around your home), think of the incredible advantage that gives you. Not only do you have job security, but you have unlimited opportunity to move up the ladder. However, if you have a chip on your shoulder, if you honestly feel that you do everything and you share that feeling with others, your bad attitude negates your good work.

So stay busy, keep working, and smile about it. Your performance and good attitude about doing everything will catch up with you. You'll move up.

--by Zig Ziglar

Your Date with Destiny

2009-06-15T18:57:00.000-07:00

Destiny. What a powerful word. And the great thing about it? Everyone has one! You have a destiny! Another great thing about destiny? We have a significant role in shaping our own destiny! In essence, you can choose your date with destiny - powerful!

Your destiny is the dream that lies within you of your desired and preferred future. And the things that we choose each day are what lead us to that destiny: Our actions, our words, our attitudes, and our relationships. They all add up to develop and shape that date on which we will reach our destiny.

Here are some thoughts to think about as you work on shaping your Date with Destiny:

The Mental Question: Do you believe that you can achieve a life of abundance? The frank truth is that many people simply do not believe that they can achieve what lies in their heart. Success is for someone else, a better person, or a smarter person. This is not true and is perhaps the greatest obstacle we face on the journey to our destiny. If we are to achieve the abundance in life we must first believe we can, or face our own continual self-sabotage of what a college professor of mine called "stinkin'-thinkin.'"

Here is the truth:
It doesn't matter what your intelligence is.
It doesn't matter what your current resources are.
It doesn't matter what you currently earn.
It doesn't matter what family you came from.

Nothing in your current circumstances matters in whether or not you can achieve your destiny! Nothing! Now, your current state may make it a longer or harder journey than someone else, but the possibility is always there no matter what your current circumstances are.

And that is the message we need to continually tell ourselves. "I can do it." Not "I can't do it."

Clear vision. Do you have one of your destiny? Here are some questions to determine whether or not your vision is clear.

Can you describe it in intricate detail?
Can you "see" it?
Can you "feel" it?
Can you "hear" it?

Here are a couple of illustrations.

Perhaps you came from a dysfunctional family and your dream is to have great moments with your family. Let's start with a Thanksgiving meal. Can you see each person there? What are they wearing? Are they smiling? What is the conversation? Can you hear the laughter? Can you experience the joy? Can you smell the turkey? Can you see people hugging each other and saying "This was wonderful," as they leave?

Another scenario: Your company. Can you see the large building you are in? Can you see the workers? Can you feel the positive attitude they have as they carry out their work? Can you experience the excitement as you get the quarterly results? Can you see yourself handing out healthy bonuses that bring pleasant surprises to your employees?

This is where it begins. A clear vision of your destiny.

Consider your resources. Are you aware of the resources you will need in order to set your date with destiny? Do you know how you will go about getting them? What are your natural gifts and talents that you have? How can you best utilize them in achieving your destiny?
What is your current level of resources?

Money?
Time?
Emotional health?
Help from others such as friends, family, employees or volunteers?

What will be your needed future level of resources? And have you developed a plan to achieve this level?

The last thing I would encourage you to do is fix a date in the future that you believe you could be living your destiny by. A real date. What this enables you to do is then begin to work backwards in setting goals to move you along the way, providing you with future points to strive for and an evaluation point to reflect upon.

Here are the points again:

Answer the mental question: Do I really believe?
Develop a clear vision.
Consider the resources needed.
Set a date with destiny.
Develop a plan to get there.

-- by Chris Widener

CONTENTMENT

2009-06-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

"I am a big believer in the ‘mirror test'. All that matters is if you can look in the mirror and honestly tell the person you see there, that you've done your best."
-- John McKay

"Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape."
-- Dr. Michael McGriffy

"I endeavor to be wise when I cannot be merry, easy when I cannot be glad, content when I cannot be mended and patient when there be no redress."
-- Elizabeth Montagu

"When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace."
-- J. Lubbock